Drama over a PS5

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know where you got a PS5. I’ve been looking for a year now

This is the only question I have.

Don't care about the rest.

+1

[Anonymous]

She should have shut her mouth and bought the step kids a ps5 on ebay with that money. The horror of watching someone get a gift not for them. Is this for real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has been in the making since August. My sister got really upset with me because I bought my niece a PS5 for her birthday. She said I knew she would not share it with her step siblings and now they are very upset. My niece does not really get on with her stepfather and his kids so she lives with her dad 99% of the time so it's not like she would even keep the PS5 at her moms anyway. She might spend 4 hours a week there at most. She said it was really crappy of me to get her one and have her open it in front of everyone knowing damn well this would upset her stepkids. I told her I ran it by nieces father and asked him if it was okay I get her the gaming system and he told me it was fine. I brought up that her daughter does not live with her and her being so upset makes no sense and her stepkids were not entitled to anything that belonged to my niece especially a birthday gift.

I warned her she was damaging her relationship with her daughter and the time would come she could cut her off completely if she did not reign in her stepkids and husband entitlement. She rang up her ex husband and took him to task for giving the ok for the gaming system. He in turn threatened her with filing for child support and would give it all to his daughter for fun money if she called him again with such BS. It turned out he was so pissed about what happened he did file for child support and now my sister is on the hook for $900 a month. She made her first payment this month and she has to pay retro from the time he filed. I never dreamed this would cause so much trouble. My sister blames everything on me. She keeps saying money was tight before and now they cannot pay all their bills. This is 100% on my sister right? She will not let it go.

-- You bought the PS5 to cause drama. You knew it would be an issue and you wanted to do this so you could call your sister for being a crappy mother by doing this instead of just actually speaking to her and saying you think she is a crappy mother.

-- The ex was already considering filing for the child support. Probably thought about it for a long, long time and just decided this would be the tipping point. Really it's his fail for not filing much, much earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You set off a storm and should have stayed out of it. You can show your niece love by being kind to her. You don't need to shower her with gifts that cause drama. It only hurts her when the drama happens and it confuses her. She is excited for the gift, but ow in a storm.

You are also sucked into all this drama and we don't know your sister's side. Just show love and have boundaries. You should not be making things worse.

OP is allowed to give her niece a gift.

OP’s sister has chosen to prioritize “her man’s” kids over her own daughter. OP’s sister is the person who is hurting her daughter.

OP should focus on being a good aunt and sidelining her waste of space sister.

That was not a gift in the true sense because it stirred the pot and I get the sense OP knew it would. Yes, OP should focus on being a good aunt which means not creating more drama and just being kind to the nieces. I am not ready to judge the sister without hearing her side. I think OP gets a little dopamine rush causing trouble and she probably gets another one posting here and reading.

[Anonymous]

A PS5 is not the kind of gift you give without checking with the parents first. I suspect you got it knowing it would piss your sister off but it spiraled beyond what you expected and now you’re looking for absolution so you don’t have to acknowledge your role in setting this in motion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has been in the making since August. My sister got really upset with me because I bought my niece a PS5 for her birthday. She said I knew she would not share it with her step siblings and now they are very upset. My niece does not really get on with her stepfather and his kids so she lives with her dad 99% of the time so it's not like she would even keep the PS5 at her moms anyway. She might spend 4 hours a week there at most. She said it was really crappy of me to get her one and have her open it in front of everyone knowing damn well this would upset her stepkids. I told her I ran it by nieces father and asked him if it was okay I get her the gaming system and he told me it was fine. I brought up that her daughter does not live with her and her being so upset makes no sense and her stepkids were not entitled to anything that belonged to my niece especially a birthday gift.

I warned her she was damaging her relationship with her daughter and the time would come she could cut her off completely if she did not reign in her stepkids and husband entitlement. She rang up her ex husband and took him to task for giving the ok for the gaming system. He in turn threatened her with filing for child support and would give it all to his daughter for fun money if she called him again with such BS. It turned out he was so pissed about what happened he did file for child support and now my sister is on the hook for $900 a month. She made her first payment this month and she has to pay retro from the time he filed. I never dreamed this would cause so much trouble. My sister blames everything on me. She keeps saying money was tight before and now they cannot pay all their bills. This is 100% on my sister right? She will not let it go.

"I never dreamed this would cause so much trouble." But admit it, you were looking for a little trouble right? I'm not judging, but I have a teen boy-- any expensive, addictive, desirable electronics are heavily discussed, pros and cons dissected before its given as a gift. Asking dad and going around your sister (assuming she still has some rights)-- uhmmm...no, not unless you were looking for a reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, why wasn’t she already paying child support??

This. Sounds like your sister is a lousy mother to start with since she ditched your niece for her new husband and his kids. I'd just cut her out and focus on your relationship with your niece.

No, op is a jerk. She is driving multiple wedges in the family relationships by overstepping. She knew she was going to do something that upset the status quo. You love the drama don't you op?

You need to stay out of your sisters relationships. You are overbearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You set off a storm and should have stayed out of it. You can show your niece love by being kind to her. You don't need to shower her with gifts that cause drama. It only hurts her when the drama happens and it confuses her. She is excited for the gift, but ow in a storm.

You are also sucked into all this drama and we don't know your sister's side. Just show love and have boundaries. You should not be making things worse.

OP is allowed to give her niece a gift.

OP’s sister has chosen to prioritize “her man’s” kids over her own daughter. OP’s sister is the person who is hurting her daughter.

OP should focus on being a good aunt and sidelining her waste of space sister.

Blended families are such a complex dance that such a simple assessment is foolish. Op created problems and it is trashy to have one kid open a very expensive gift in front of the others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I bought it from a reseller I know. I paid more than the $499 he paid for it.

I can only guess why my nieces father he did not file for child support but it could have been to keep my sister and her husband in line. They always had 50/50 but when my niece started living with him full time he had his lawyer draw up paperwork giving him primary custody which my sister signed. He did not ask for child support at the time.

Ah, yes. They're not married anymore, but the mother must be kept in line.

Truthfully, you are either clueless or a jerk. I'm kind of going with jerk who likes to stir the pot. You obviously don't care for your sister. Her ex-husband sounds like a real winner. It's too bad that your niece doesn't seem to have any adult that can leave drama aside and just be a positive presence in her life.

+100

[Anonymous]

So you deliberately gave your niece an expensive gift in front of your step nephews where you were not giving them something similar?

Both you and your sister sound like jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you deliberately gave your niece an expensive gift in front of your step nephews where you were not giving them something similar?

Both you and your sister sound like jerks.

It was a birthday gift. Do you often give all your kids equal gifts when it's only one kid's birthday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A PS5 is not the kind of gift you give without checking with the parents first. I suspect you got it knowing it would piss your sister off but it spiraled beyond what you expected and now you’re looking for absolution so you don’t have to acknowledge your role in setting this in motion.

since when do people check with non-custodial parents after the parent the child lives with approves the gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A PS5 is not the kind of gift you give without checking with the parents first. I suspect you got it knowing it would piss your sister off but it spiraled beyond what you expected and now you’re looking for absolution so you don’t have to acknowledge your role in setting this in motion.

since when do people check with non-custodial parents after the parent the child lives with approves the gift?

since the non-cistodial parent is your own sister at the very least, and frankly every time a gift like a playstation is involved. even parents who do not have primary custody have a say in how their kids are raised and not everybody wants a child to fry her brain in front of a video game.

OP in this case asked the ex but not her own sister, which I think was wrong. second, when the sister complained, instead of just keeping it as something between OP and her sister, resorted to "but your ex said yes" leading to the drama between OP's sister and her ex. OP's sister sounds like a crappy mother but OP does not look helpful at all in a situation that seems very precarious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A PS5 is not the kind of gift you give without checking with the parents first. I suspect you got it knowing it would piss your sister off but it spiraled beyond what you expected and now you’re looking for absolution so you don’t have to acknowledge your role in setting this in motion.

since when do people check with non-custodial parents after the parent the child lives with approves the gift?

since the non-cistodial parent is your own sister at the very least, and frankly every time a gift like a playstation is involved. even parents who do not have primary custody have a say in how their kids are raised and not everybody wants a child to fry her brain in front of a video game.

OP in this case asked the ex but not her own sister, which I think was wrong. second, when the sister complained, instead of just keeping it as something between OP and her sister, resorted to "but your ex said yes" leading to the drama between OP's sister and her ex. OP's sister sounds like a crappy mother but OP does not look helpful at all in a situation that seems very precarious

The PS5 is at the dad's house, who approved it. Do non-custodial parents have the last word on everything that goes on at the other house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you deliberately gave your niece an expensive gift in front of your step nephews where you were not giving them something similar?

Both you and your sister sound like jerks.

It was a birthday gift. Do you often give all your kids equal gifts when it's only one kid's birthday?

No, but given she knew all the history here, she could have found a way to give this more privately. I am guessing she doesn’t give nearly the equivalent of this type of gift to the step nephews. I mean if my one kid gets a lavish gift for her bday in April and then the relative gives my other kid a dollar tree toy in October, I wouldn’t be happy.