Drama over a PS5

[Anonymous]

This has been in the making since August. My sister got really upset with me because I bought my niece a PS5 for her birthday. She said I knew she would not share it with her step siblings and now they are very upset. My niece does not really get on with her stepfather and his kids so she lives with her dad 99% of the time so it's not like she would even keep the PS5 at her moms anyway. She might spend 4 hours a week there at most. She said it was really crappy of me to get her one and have her open it in front of everyone knowing damn well this would upset her stepkids. I told her I ran it by nieces father and asked him if it was okay I get her the gaming system and he told me it was fine. I brought up that her daughter does not live with her and her being so upset makes no sense and her stepkids were not entitled to anything that belonged to my niece especially a birthday gift.

I warned her she was damaging her relationship with her daughter and the time would come she could cut her off completely if she did not reign in her stepkids and husband entitlement. She rang up her ex husband and took him to task for giving the ok for the gaming system. He in turn threatened her with filing for child support and would give it all to his daughter for fun money if she called him again with such BS. It turned out he was so pissed about what happened he did file for child support and now my sister is on the hook for $900 a month. She made her first payment this month and she has to pay retro from the time he filed. I never dreamed this would cause so much trouble. My sister blames everything on me. She keeps saying money was tight before and now they cannot pay all their bills. This is 100% on my sister right? She will not let it go.

[Anonymous]

I want to know where you got a PS5. I’ve been looking for a year now.

But other than that, this isn’t about a game system, you realize. Sounds like both of your niece’s parents are real winners.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, why wasn’t she already paying child support??

[Anonymous]

She is angry she has to pay child support? That’s not your fault. Let’s review:

1. She failed to pay child support.
2. She threw a tantrum and angrily called her ex.
3. He enforced his child’s rights.

Where is anything your fault here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, why wasn’t she already paying child support??

This. Sounds like your sister is a lousy mother to start with since she ditched your niece for her new husband and his kids. I'd just cut her out and focus on your relationship with your niece.

[Anonymous]

Well, it was kind of lousy to go around your actual sister and ask her ex for permission when/if you knew the gist would be opened at your sister’s house. It does feel undermining that you went through the dad rather than her. If the gift was for the dad’s house it should have been sent there. You can’t blame the stepkids, I’m even if they are horrible, for getting their hopes up and then dashing them if it was opened at their house in front of them.

That said, your sister should be paying child support and if she is on the hook for THAT much she must make a huge income, so I would not worry about it. The fact that she was a deadbeat before now is not on you.

If you want to make a gesture of conciliation, buy another one for your sister’s house for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to know where you got a PS5. I’ve been looking for a year now.

This is the only question I have.

Don't care about the rest.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I bought it from a reseller I know. I paid more than the $499 he paid for it.

I can only guess why my nieces father he did not file for child support but it could have been to keep my sister and her husband in line. They always had 50/50 but when my niece started living with him full time he had his lawyer draw up paperwork giving him primary custody which my sister signed. He did not ask for child support at the time.

[Anonymous]

This is 100% on your sister.

She's a crappy mother and should be paying CS to her ex if her DD is only spending 4 hours a week with her.

Keeping being a good aunt to your niece. Sounds like she needs all the stable adults she can get in her life!

Also, kudos on scoring the PS5!

[Anonymous]

Your poor niece. Glad she has a dad who is willing to give her a real home when her mother won’t
Just tell your sis to not upset her ex further so that he doesn’t go after her for what she owes in CS

[Anonymous]

You did set off the entire incident, but it sounds like it would have happened anyway at some point, given the parties involved. However, now your sister has you to conveniently blame for what would have happened anyway. Do you see that?

It's not sensitive or diplomatic of you to send your niece impressive gifts that she opens in front of people who are sure to be envious. I don't know how old she is, but you two should have had an agreement that any desirable item is sent straight to her father's, and she doesn't talk about it. She may not like her step-siblings, but she has to model good behavior and not flaunt stuff in their faces and make the tension worse.
It would be nice if your sister and step-siblings could behave decently too, but if decent behavior is beyond what they can muster, your niece and her father mustn't stoop to their level. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Please be more diplomatic in the future.

[Anonymous]

You set off a storm and should have stayed out of it. You can show your niece love by being kind to her. You don't need to shower her with gifts that cause drama. It only hurts her when the drama happens and it confuses her. She is excited for the gift, but ow in a storm.

You are also sucked into all this drama and we don't know your sister's side. Just show love and have boundaries. You should not be making things worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You set off a storm and should have stayed out of it. You can show your niece love by being kind to her. You don't need to shower her with gifts that cause drama. It only hurts her when the drama happens and it confuses her. She is excited for the gift, but ow in a storm.

You are also sucked into all this drama and we don't know your sister's side. Just show love and have boundaries. You should not be making things worse.

OP is allowed to give her niece a gift.

OP’s sister has chosen to prioritize “her man’s” kids over her own daughter. OP’s sister is the person who is hurting her daughter.

OP should focus on being a good aunt and sidelining her waste of space sister.

[Anonymous]

I think you should have checked in with both mom and dad first before giving a gaming system like this, especially since it was going to be opened at mom’s place (that’s what it seems like, since step siblings were present).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I bought it from a reseller I know. I paid more than the $499 he paid for it.

I can only guess why my nieces father he did not file for child support but it could have been to keep my sister and her husband in line. They always had 50/50 but when my niece started living with him full time he had his lawyer draw up paperwork giving him primary custody which my sister signed. He did not ask for child support at the time.

Ah, yes. They're not married anymore, but the mother must be kept in line.

Truthfully, you are either clueless or a jerk. I'm kind of going with jerk who likes to stir the pot. You obviously don't care for your sister. Her ex-husband sounds like a real winner. It's too bad that your niece doesn't seem to have any adult that can leave drama aside and just be a positive presence in her life.