What's it like being married to someone much older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9 year gap here. Met when I was 21 and he was 30 and we still like each other more than 20 years later. Works for us. I’ll always feel relatively “young” compared to him. He started having middle-aged health problems before I did, but I’m catching up lately and now I kind of feel like we’re both slowly falling apart together, lol. Would I recommend it? Sure, if you love the person, why not?

This sums up my situation. I wouldn’t avoid a 9-year age gap but I wouldn’t seek it out, either.

Same here, 10 year age difference. Our relationship is strong and I am happy with life generally, but if you asked me if I wanted to de-age him 10 years magically I would definitely say yes. It has it's pitfalls and I wouldn't seek it out.

[Anonymous]

10-year age difference here too. The first time anything came up about our age difference was when DH started needing those little blue pills in early 60s. And then I hit menopause, and things sort of evened out

[Anonymous]

My parents have an 8.5 year age difference and are currently 77 and 69. No issues related to age- they do all the same activities together and are quite active in general. My father still works and travels for work as well.

[Anonymous]

We're 37 and 50, married 11 years with two school age kids and so far so good. I'm sure things will get more complicated later, but what's the alternative? He's the love of my life and if I had left him because of the age difference I would've spent the rest of my life pining after him. I knew he'd be the best possible husband and father and he's never let me down in any way, and I'm happy I get to sleep next to him every night. Whatever happens in the future I'm grateful we got to spend this time together.

[Anonymous]

My best friend’s sister married a 50-something guy in her early 30s. Now it’s 15 years later and they’re divorcing, amicably. (No, he doesn’t have money/wealth/power). They were living a fast paced life in the city (and are child free by choice). He’s 70 and wants to move to a 55+ community in Florida and live a retired lifestyle. She did not want to quit her job and live that way in her 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8-10 years is nothing people.

+1

OP asked specifically about MUXCH older - meaning probably 15+ years difference.

Different generation= MUCH older, by legal definition (20 years).

[Anonymous]

*MUCH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're 37 and 50, married 11 years with two school age kids and so far so good. I'm sure things will get more complicated later, but what's the alternative? He's the love of my life and if I had left him because of the age difference I would've spent the rest of my life pining after him. I knew he'd be the best possible husband and father and he's never let me down in any way, and I'm happy I get to sleep next to him every night. Whatever happens in the future I'm grateful we got to spend this time together.

Sounds just like me except that we have 3 kids… we are happy and we work really well together. He is fitter than I am (and I run 4 miles every day and weigh less than when he met me)… I hope he stays in shape as long as possible

[Anonymous]

We’re 9 years apart, late 40s and late 50s. I’m an old soul and DH is immature LOL Our age difference was def more of an issue when I was in my early 20s and he in his early 30s and I suspect it will become an issue again when he’s in his 70s. Like an earlier poster I wish I could de-age him now but we’ve had a great marriage and I wouldn’t change anything. I suspect he’ll work until 65 and then I’ll retire at the same time. It will be fun to have lots of time together. We really enjoy each other and have lots of similar interests.

[Anonymous]

8.5 yrs apart. No age related issues.

[Anonymous]

I‘m married to someone 8 years older. It kind of made a difference when I was 22 because he was more established in his career and living circumstances. We don’t share any common childhood TV shows/interests. I know more about technology than he. Not much else seem affected by the gap.

[Anonymous]

34 year age difference with DH being older. He’s retired while I telecommute most of the week. He makes me coffee and prepares lunch. In the evenings, we watch tv. I am childfree and he has adult children from his first marriage. We work out 3-4 times a week and have similar values related to money and keeping healthy. We love our life together and I want him to age like Fauci.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:34 year age difference with DH being older. He’s retired while I telecommute most of the week. He makes me coffee and prepares lunch. In the evenings, we watch tv. I am childfree and he has adult children from his first marriage. We work out 3-4 times a week and have similar values related to money and keeping healthy. We love our life together and I want him to age like Fauci.

There may be fertility issues with an older man and there is a stigma and ignorance in the older generation that may lead to the woman getting a lot of abuse if she is hush-hush about his problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:34 year age difference with DH being older. He’s retired while I telecommute most of the week. He makes me coffee and prepares lunch. In the evenings, we watch tv. I am childfree and he has adult children from his first marriage. We work out 3-4 times a week and have similar values related to money and keeping healthy. We love our life together and I want him to age like Fauci.

There may be fertility issues with an older man and there is a stigma and ignorance in the older generation that may lead to the woman getting a lot of abuse if she is hush-hush about his problems.

Projecting much, you weirdo? We're happy to live our life without children and I can assure you I'm not being abused in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only person I know who married much older has about a 30-40 year gap, and I don't see how that makes sense to anyone. BUT he "happens" to have money, and she happens to need money for her extended family, so it "works", and they put up a united front in public and social situations. They have a three year old, and it is um, awkward.

Her parents are much younger than his side's cousins, which makes family gatherings/events a little weird. Plus his family is never quite sure who her real "cousins" are, or if they are just hangers on. Again, awkward.

Lol at this!