Keep getting angry at husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

OP here and this is exactly how I feel. If you'd like to connect, let me know and we can find a way to exchange contact info. Hearing that someone gets it already makes me feel so much better.

me again! I'd love to connect with you! definitely don't want to give a way for the crazy lady who told me it's not my husband's fault I'm fat to contact me though if we can avoid inviting her to any hangouts or text convos, I'm all in

I’m in the same boat. My husband is wonderful, and yet I’m so frustrated that I’m the one who is dealing with a tough recovery and a body that feels totally foreign and not able to do the things I did pre-pregnancy (and hell, even during pregnancy). If you all find a way to exchange contact information, and there’s a way to loop me in, I’d love to connect. (We have a 3.5 month old.)

Mom of 3 and for me the first really was the worst. It’s such a big adjustment and there is no way to prepare. Second and third we’re so much easier, because I knew what to expect as did my husband. Give yourself some grace right now and put yourself first as others have said- that is what helped me. I had low supply, so gave my baby a bottle of formula once a day. I also worked out for 80 mins a day because it made me feel like myself, I wanted my body back, and I needed time to myself as we had no help - paid or family - until I went back to work FT. I also found some mommy and me classes that allowed me to be around adults and gave my day structure. The biggest things were supplementing and working out. It’s really hard, yes, but you can make adjustments that make your life easier. Try to resist the messages that society, family, other moms may send to you about needing to be perfect now. There is a stigma around almost everything you do or don’t do as a new mom, so just do what’s best for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a new first time mom, and I just keep getting angry at my wonderful husband. He's trying so hard and doing a great job (does all the housework, cleaning, helps with baby, etc.), but so many things set me off. I feel bad that I can't be a kinder wife to him but I just need him to see and understand I'm struggling. there's not really any specific reason, I just don't feel like myself. I've talked to him about it but I don't think he understands...he keeps trying to identify a problem and solution, but I'm just off. I feel disconnected from him. Others going through the same? WWYD?

He is being a very good husband and you are driving him away. Don't be surprised when he finds someone who doesn't criticize his every move. Get some help or you will be divorced within two years. He is also struggling and doing everything he can for an ungrateful wife. I hope he find peace and happiness wih a kind woman soon
I don't care if you have PPD or you are just mean but if you want this man to stick around, get help today! I have no sympathy or empathy for you and I am a woman.

I rarely post criticism of others on dcum but you are a first-rate a$$hole!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a new first time mom, and I just keep getting angry at my wonderful husband. He's trying so hard and doing a great job (does all the housework, cleaning, helps with baby, etc.), but so many things set me off. I feel bad that I can't be a kinder wife to him but I just need him to see and understand I'm struggling. there's not really any specific reason, I just don't feel like myself. I've talked to him about it but I don't think he understands...he keeps trying to identify a problem and solution, but I'm just off. I feel disconnected from him. Others going through the same? WWYD?

He is being a very good husband and you are driving him away. Don't be surprised when he finds someone who doesn't criticize his every move. Get some help or you will be divorced within two years. He is also struggling and doing everything he can for an ungrateful wife. I hope he find peace and happiness wih a kind woman soon
I don't care if you have PPD or you are just mean but if you want this man to stick around, get help today! I have no sympathy or empathy for you and I am a woman.

I rarely post criticism of others on dcum but you are a first-rate a$$hole!

No. Speaking the truth is always good
First class @$$holes deny the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

OP here and this is exactly how I feel. If you'd like to connect, let me know and we can find a way to exchange contact info. Hearing that someone gets it already makes me feel so much better.

me again! I'd love to connect with you! definitely don't want to give a way for the crazy lady who told me it's not my husband's fault I'm fat to contact me though if we can avoid inviting her to any hangouts or text convos, I'm all in

I’m in the same boat. My husband is wonderful, and yet I’m so frustrated that I’m the one who is dealing with a tough recovery and a body that feels totally foreign and not able to do the things I did pre-pregnancy (and hell, even during pregnancy). If you all find a way to exchange contact information, and there’s a way to loop me in, I’d love to connect. (We have a 3.5 month old.)

OP here, thanks to everyone who was so encouraging.

For the PPs that mentioned wanting to connect, let's try this: send me an email at [e-mail] and maybe we can connect over email or text? Would love to find a space to support each other.

[Anonymous]

Show him this post, or draft something similar to serve as a blanket mea culpa / apology.