Keep getting angry at husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

You chose to have a baby and you chose to breast feed. You also chose to retain pregancybweihjt because at 9 months after birth, you should be back to normal by exercising. A 9 month old no lonefto nu. Take a good look at yourself and change the things you can change. It is your fault you are still carrying extra weight, not his. I am a woman and I am sicfn ring blamed for all our problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

You chose to have a baby and you chose to breast feed. You also chose to retain pregancybweihjt because at 9 months after birth, you should be back to normal by exercising. A 9 month old no lonefto nu. Take a good look at yourself and change the things you can change. It is your fault you are still carrying extra weight, not his. I am a woman and I am sicfn ring blamed for all our problems.

Typing on phone and apologies for mistakes but you get the message

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

You chose to have a baby and you chose to breast feed. You also chose to retain pregancybweihjt because at 9 months after birth, you should be back to normal by exercising. A 9 month old no lonefto nu. Take a good look at yourself and change the things you can change. It is your fault you are still carrying extra weight, not his. I am a woman and I am sicfn ring blamed for all our problems.

Omg go away. Nobody said it was her husband’s fault. Quit your body shaming too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

You chose to have a baby and you chose to breast feed. You also chose to retain pregancybweihjt because at 9 months after birth, you should be back to normal by exercising. A 9 month old no lonefto nu. Take a good look at yourself and change the things you can change. It is your fault you are still carrying extra weight, not his. I am a woman and I am sicfn ring blamed for all our problems.

Typing on phone and apologies for mistakes but you get the message

I definitely got the message that you have some terrible views about life. That came through loud and clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

You chose to have a baby and you chose to breast feed. You also chose to retain pregancybweihjt because at 9 months after birth, you should be back to normal by exercising. A 9 month old no lonefto nu. Take a good look at yourself and change the things you can change. It is your fault you are still carrying extra weight, not his. I am a woman and I am sicfn ring blamed for all our problems.

Please ignore this troll. It looks like they're the same idiot posting at 15:04. I am a woman, and this troll is embarrassing to all women with this gibberish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a new first time mom, and I just keep getting angry at my wonderful husband. He's trying so hard and doing a great job (does all the housework, cleaning, helps with baby, etc.), but so many things set me off. I feel bad that I can't be a kinder wife to him but I just need him to see and understand I'm struggling. there's not really any specific reason, I just don't feel like myself. I've talked to him about it but I don't think he understands...he keeps trying to identify a problem and solution, but I'm just off. I feel disconnected from him. Others going through the same? WWYD?

He is being a very good husband and you are driving him away. Don't be surprised when he finds someone who doesn't criticize his every move. Get some help or you will be divorced within two years. He is also struggling and doing everything he can for an ungrateful wife. I hope he find peace and happiness wih a kind woman soon
I don't care if you have PPD or you are just mean but if you want this man to stick around, get help today! I have no sympathy or empathy for you and I am a woman.

For real--the OP is clearly struggling and is likely suffering from PPD. She's here reaching out for help and your response is that you have no sympathy or empathy??? Have you always been this uncaring? Have you sought out treatment for being a sociopath?

I am sick of whining women. I do not care about your problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a new first time mom, and I just keep getting angry at my wonderful husband. He's trying so hard and doing a great job (does all the housework, cleaning, helps with baby, etc.), but so many things set me off. I feel bad that I can't be a kinder wife to him but I just need him to see and understand I'm struggling. there's not really any specific reason, I just don't feel like myself. I've talked to him about it but I don't think he understands...he keeps trying to identify a problem and solution, but I'm just off. I feel disconnected from him. Others going through the same? WWYD?

He is being a very good husband and you are driving him away. Don't be surprised when he finds someone who doesn't criticize his every move. Get some help or you will be divorced within two years. He is also struggling and doing everything he can for an ungrateful wife. I hope he find peace and happiness wih a kind woman soon
I don't care if you have PPD or you are just mean but if you want this man to stick around, get help today! I have no sympathy or empathy for you and I am a woman.

For real--the OP is clearly struggling and is likely suffering from PPD. She's here reaching out for help and your response is that you have no sympathy or empathy??? Have you always been this uncaring? Have you sought out treatment for being a sociopath?

I am sick of whining women. I do not care about your problems.

Yet here you are visiting this site and responding with your own whining. Maybe stop whining yourself.

[Anonymous]

Yup. Its common and really hard. Everything he did was annoying. A lot of it was my own hormones and insecurities and anxieties about the baby and the world and my body. It does get better. Best advice to me was in the first couple months to never say anything you cant take back to each other. Dh said he left the room a couple times when i was being really frustrating and screamed into a pillow. I did the same.
No they dont and cant viscerally understand what you are going through inside your head and body etc even if everything is going swimmingly. And with a newborn there are probably a dozen moments a day when its all a shit show.
Give yourself grace, give him grace to just be with you and kid and do things "wrong" in your view. And ask him for patience and grace for you as you both navigate a totally new world.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I felt angry a lot in the year after my son was born. My son was premature and had to have two surgeries in his first year and I also felt a lot of guilt because of that. My H was wonderful even when my mood was terrible. I started seeing a therapist that specializes in mother's issues and that helped a lot for me. Just talking about things and getting it out helped me deal. Therapy is not forever; you can do it for a few months and then see how you feel.

FWIW, I didn't get back to my pre pregnancy weight until almost 18 months after birth, and I was exercising and counting calories. The body has its own timetable sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

You chose to have a baby and you chose to breast feed. You also chose to retain pregancybweihjt because at 9 months after birth, you should be back to normal by exercising. A 9 month old no lonefto nu. Take a good look at yourself and change the things you can change. It is your fault you are still carrying extra weight, not his. I am a woman and I am sicfn ring blamed for all our problems.

And you make the choice to be a C-U-Next-Tuesday apparently. God help me some of yall want to be so idolized by men that youll throw every other single woman under the bus so that you are the only one left standing. Im sorry your mother always blamed you for everything and told you your worth is in your weight and ability to make a man happy but you chose to not go to therapy to address your issues and now here you are.

[Anonymous]

Try wearing a pretty dress

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

OP here and this is exactly how I feel. If you'd like to connect, let me know and we can find a way to exchange contact info. Hearing that someone gets it already makes me feel so much better.

me again! I'd love to connect with you! definitely don't want to give a way for the crazy lady who told me it's not my husband's fault I'm fat to contact me though if we can avoid inviting her to any hangouts or text convos, I'm all in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a new first time mom, and I just keep getting angry at my wonderful husband. He's trying so hard and doing a great job (does all the housework, cleaning, helps with baby, etc.), but so many things set me off. I feel bad that I can't be a kinder wife to him but I just need him to see and understand I'm struggling. there's not really any specific reason, I just don't feel like myself. I've talked to him about it but I don't think he understands...he keeps trying to identify a problem and solution, but I'm just off. I feel disconnected from him. Others going through the same? WWYD?

Apologize for being a b and blame it on the hormones and sleep deprivation. Remind him to remind you of this conversation. Try to put yourself first once a day e.g. take a long shower. Choose sleep over chores.

[Anonymous]

Sleep and therapy, OP. Take care of yourself.

I told my husband he was never, ever allowed to say he was tired. Ever. That really set me off!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

OP here and this is exactly how I feel. If you'd like to connect, let me know and we can find a way to exchange contact info. Hearing that someone gets it already makes me feel so much better.

me again! I'd love to connect with you! definitely don't want to give a way for the crazy lady who told me it's not my husband's fault I'm fat to contact me though if we can avoid inviting her to any hangouts or text convos, I'm all in

I’m in the same boat. My husband is wonderful, and yet I’m so frustrated that I’m the one who is dealing with a tough recovery and a body that feels totally foreign and not able to do the things I did pre-pregnancy (and hell, even during pregnancy). If you all find a way to exchange contact information, and there’s a way to loop me in, I’d love to connect. (We have a 3.5 month old.)