Keep getting angry at husband

[Anonymous]

I'm a new first time mom, and I just keep getting angry at my wonderful husband. He's trying so hard and doing a great job (does all the housework, cleaning, helps with baby, etc.), but so many things set me off. I feel bad that I can't be a kinder wife to him but I just need him to see and understand I'm struggling. there's not really any specific reason, I just don't feel like myself. I've talked to him about it but I don't think he understands...he keeps trying to identify a problem and solution, but I'm just off. I feel disconnected from him. Others going through the same? WWYD?

[Anonymous]

When you AREN'T mad, give him long hugs. Kiss him. Tell him you love him.

-mom of 3 who has always had post partum moodiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a new first time mom, and I just keep getting angry at my wonderful husband. He's trying so hard and doing a great job (does all the housework, cleaning, helps with baby, etc.), but so many things set me off. I feel bad that I can't be a kinder wife to him but I just need him to see and understand I'm struggling. there's not really any specific reason, I just don't feel like myself. I've talked to him about it but I don't think he understands...he keeps trying to identify a problem and solution, but I'm just off. I feel disconnected from him. Others going through the same? WWYD?

Also, I should add, my baby is almost 11 months so I don't think it's PPA or post partum rage unless it can come on so late?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a new first time mom, and I just keep getting angry at my wonderful husband. He's trying so hard and doing a great job (does all the housework, cleaning, helps with baby, etc.), but so many things set me off. I feel bad that I can't be a kinder wife to him but I just need him to see and understand I'm struggling. there's not really any specific reason, I just don't feel like myself. I've talked to him about it but I don't think he understands...he keeps trying to identify a problem and solution, but I'm just off. I feel disconnected from him. Others going through the same? WWYD?

Also, I should add, my baby is almost 11 months so I don't think it's PPA or post partum rage unless it can come on so late?

Yes absolutely. What is setting you off? Is it general unhappiness? resentment? frustration? isolation?

[Anonymous]

Yeah this sounds like PPD to me. It can come on anytime in the first year I think, and can also be associated with weaning.

[Anonymous]

It can be. For me, I took my feelings out on DH because that felt safer than on baby. It was a manifestation of anxiety too.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like post partum rage to me. I’d talk to your doctor and consider therapy and/or meds to help you start feeling like yourself again. No one really told me about PP rage and it was quite the shock to go through for me.

[Anonymous]

My PPA manifested as quick to rage at everyone around me that I loved and was safe (ie, my husband).

[Anonymous]

It can absolutely come on this late. Also, it may have been there all along and you couldnt' identify it until now. Talk to your doctor this week.

[Anonymous]

I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

OP here and this is exactly how I feel. If you'd like to connect, let me know and we can find a way to exchange contact info. Hearing that someone gets it already makes me feel so much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 9 month old and I hear you OP. I think a lot of my anger also comes from my frustration that there is so much that he doesn't get. it's not his fault, but I don't think you really "get" what it feels like to pump on your commute, look like a trash bag in anything you wear, come to the full understanding your body won't be the same, etc. My DH is also a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he doesn't TRULY understand that stuff and it's frustrating to me that we aren't on the same page about that. we've had communication problems for the first time in the 12 years we've been together

OP here and this is exactly how I feel. If you'd like to connect, let me know and we can find a way to exchange contact info. Hearing that someone gets it already makes me feel so much better.

Join a moms' group. Commisserate there.

Inova hospitals all offer one and there's always your local meetup.

[Anonymous]

I definitely struggled with rage postpartum and weaning has thrown me back into the deep end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a new first time mom, and I just keep getting angry at my wonderful husband. He's trying so hard and doing a great job (does all the housework, cleaning, helps with baby, etc.), but so many things set me off. I feel bad that I can't be a kinder wife to him but I just need him to see and understand I'm struggling. there's not really any specific reason, I just don't feel like myself. I've talked to him about it but I don't think he understands...he keeps trying to identify a problem and solution, but I'm just off. I feel disconnected from him. Others going through the same? WWYD?

He is being a very good husband and you are driving him away. Don't be surprised when he finds someone who doesn't criticize his every move. Get some help or you will be divorced within two years. He is also struggling and doing everything he can for an ungrateful wife. I hope he find peace and happiness wih a kind woman soon
I don't care if you have PPD or you are just mean but if you want this man to stick around, get help today! I have no sympathy or empathy for you and I am a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a new first time mom, and I just keep getting angry at my wonderful husband. He's trying so hard and doing a great job (does all the housework, cleaning, helps with baby, etc.), but so many things set me off. I feel bad that I can't be a kinder wife to him but I just need him to see and understand I'm struggling. there's not really any specific reason, I just don't feel like myself. I've talked to him about it but I don't think he understands...he keeps trying to identify a problem and solution, but I'm just off. I feel disconnected from him. Others going through the same? WWYD?

He is being a very good husband and you are driving him away. Don't be surprised when he finds someone who doesn't criticize his every move. Get some help or you will be divorced within two years. He is also struggling and doing everything he can for an ungrateful wife. I hope he find peace and happiness wih a kind woman soon
I don't care if you have PPD or you are just mean but if you want this man to stick around, get help today! I have no sympathy or empathy for you and I am a woman.

For real--the OP is clearly struggling and is likely suffering from PPD. She's here reaching out for help and your response is that you have no sympathy or empathy??? Have you always been this uncaring? Have you sought out treatment for being a sociopath?