13y DD thinks sexting is not a big deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She can think what she wants but she needs to do what you say. I can’t see proving a point to a child. Who is the adult?

+1

I have taken the opposite approach to parenting. We explain why or why not so our kid can figure out right from wrong as he matures. Maybe it just works for us because he was born with a natural sense of wanting to do the right thing. But you can do both - make it a rule and explain why it’s a rule. Personally I would go with the potential for the other person to widely share what was texted and potential years of embarrassment.

+1 will Not work for long without informed buy in as to rationale …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess you should figure out how to explain to her why sex as a teen is okay because consent and condoms, but texting the same person about that sex is really bad and should destroy your life over it.

The mixed messaging coming from parents and schools (via sex ed) is definitely problematic for teens. The only bright line is don’t record anything related to your sex life.

[Anonymous]

Take the phone away until she understands how serious it is. She's 13, not 17 on the cusp of being a legal adult. Thirteen is still very much a child and able to be controlled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Says no one she knows got caught or leaked
Is there a site online with real cases?

Happens all the time. 3 incidents at our DD Bethesda MS.

[Anonymous]

MD legislature is removing this as a criminal offense, if they haven’t already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Says no one she knows got caught or leaked
Is there a site online with real cases?

Does she know 13 year old boys? Does she think they are mature and trustworthy?

Not PP but acquaintances of 13 yo DD routinely send nudes to people they are attracted to and doctor images of people they are bullying to
Look degrading. Many boys send the girls unsolicited dick pics. Some of the worst girl offenders have very religious/ conservative parents who have no idea what their DC are up to online. It is horrible. I agree that 13 is way too young but this is where wide spread access at young ages has brought us.

I check my DDs phone photos regularly and talk often about negative consequences of sending nudes or being vulgar online. I don’t think it is possible to insulate from it entirely but it is important to talk about, Caution and make sure DC are not engaging in it.

Are you joking? Nice dig as conservatives 95% of all girls do this including liberals, Jewish girls etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sexting doesn’t necessarily involve photos. If it’s just exchanging dirty texts, it doesn’t seem to me that there’s anything to be “caught” over.

This all happens on Snapchat it’s 100% photos and videos they don’t text lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Says no one she knows got caught or leaked
Is there a site online with real cases?

Does she know 13 year old boys? Does she think they are mature and trustworthy?

Not PP but acquaintances of 13 yo DD routinely send nudes to people they are attracted to and doctor images of people they are bullying to
Look degrading. Many boys send the girls unsolicited dick pics. Some of the worst girl offenders have very religious/ conservative parents who have no idea what their DC are up to online. It is horrible. I agree that 13 is way too young but this is where wide spread access at young ages has brought us.

I check my DDs phone photos regularly and talk often about negative consequences of sending nudes or being vulgar online. I don’t think it is possible to insulate from it entirely but it is important to talk about, Caution and make sure DC are not engaging in it.

Are you joking? Nice dig as conservatives 95% of all girls do this including liberals, Jewish girls etc.

Considering how solid blue the DMV has become (and the even more uniformly blue view of most public school teachers), the majority of kids sexting are not from conservative families.

But you are all free to believe whatever fantasy you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Says no one she knows got caught or leaked
Is there a site online with real cases?

Does she know 13 year old boys? Does she think they are mature and trustworthy?

Not PP but acquaintances of 13 yo DD routinely send nudes to people they are attracted to and doctor images of people they are bullying to
Look degrading. Many boys send the girls unsolicited dick pics. Some of the worst girl offenders have very religious/ conservative parents who have no idea what their DC are up to online. It is horrible. I agree that 13 is way too young but this is where wide spread access at young ages has brought us.

I check my DDs phone photos regularly and talk often about negative consequences of sending nudes or being vulgar online. I don’t think it is possible to insulate from it entirely but it is important to talk about, Caution and make sure DC are not engaging in it.

Are you joking? Nice dig as conservatives 95% of all girls do this including liberals, Jewish girls etc.

? Huh

Where is the dig? No reference to anything political at all???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Says no one she knows got caught or leaked
Is there a site online with real cases?

Does she know 13 year old boys? Does she think they are mature and trustworthy?

Not PP but acquaintances of 13 yo DD routinely send nudes to people they are attracted to and doctor images of people they are bullying to
Look degrading. Many boys send the girls unsolicited dick pics. Some of the worst girl offenders have very religious/ conservative parents who have no idea what their DC are up to online. It is horrible. I agree that 13 is way too young but this is where wide spread access at young ages has brought us.

I check my DDs phone photos regularly and talk often about negative consequences of sending nudes or being vulgar online. I don’t think it is possible to insulate from it entirely but it is important to talk about, Caution and make sure DC are not engaging in it.

Are you joking? Nice dig as conservatives 95% of all girls do this including liberals, Jewish girls etc.

? Huh

Where is the dig? No reference to anything political at all???

Oh sorry see your point now - sorry did not mean conservative in political way … more socially so the girls don’t show them parents their secret social
Media and fake profiles.

Yes many girls of all stripes engaging in this unsafe activity - also agree with PP about mixed messaging. It is very hard to find the right balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess you should figure out how to explain to her why sex as a teen is okay because consent and condoms, but texting the same person about that sex is really bad and should destroy your life over it.

The mixed messaging coming from parents and schools (via sex ed) is definitely problematic for teens. The only bright line is don’t record anything related to your sex life.

Where is the confusion. No one is advocating for teens to have sex they are preparing them for the adult world and informing them how to protect themselves should they choose to engage. With sexting we are advising kids not to engage because 1) the images and message don’t necessarily disappear and as kids are still maturing there is no way of knowing where they will end up, 2) there could be a host of legalities to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Says no one she knows got caught or leaked
Is there a site online with real cases?

Does she know 13 year old boys? Does she think they are mature and trustworthy?

Not PP but acquaintances of 13 yo DD routinely send nudes to people they are attracted to and doctor images of people they are bullying to
Look degrading. Many boys send the girls unsolicited dick pics. Some of the worst girl offenders have very religious/ conservative parents who have no idea what their DC are up to online. It is horrible. I agree that 13 is way too young but this is where wide spread access at young ages has brought us.

I check my DDs phone photos regularly and talk often about negative consequences of sending nudes or being vulgar online. I don’t think it is possible to insulate from it entirely but it is important to talk about, Caution and make sure DC are not engaging in it.

Are you joking? Nice dig as conservatives 95% of all girls do this including liberals, Jewish girls etc.

? Huh

Where is the dig? No reference to anything political at all???

Check your reading comp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Says no one she knows got caught or leaked
Is there a site online with real cases?

Does she know 13 year old boys? Does she think they are mature and trustworthy?

Not PP but acquaintances of 13 yo DD routinely send nudes to people they are attracted to and doctor images of people they are bullying to
Look degrading. Many boys send the girls unsolicited dick pics. Some of the worst girl offenders have very religious/ conservative parents who have no idea what their DC are up to online. It is horrible. I agree that 13 is way too young but this is where wide spread access at young ages has brought us.

I check my DDs phone photos regularly and talk often about negative consequences of sending nudes or being vulgar online. I don’t think it is possible to insulate from it entirely but it is important to talk about, Caution and make sure DC are not engaging in it.

Are you joking? Nice dig as conservatives 95% of all girls do this including liberals, Jewish girls etc.

? Huh

Where is the dig? No reference to anything political at all???

Check your reading comp

Yeah see clarification above - was not using word in political sense of the word … it was not a dig like that …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Says no one she knows got caught or leaked
Is there a site online with real cases?

Does she know 13 year old boys? Does she think they are mature and trustworthy?

Not PP but acquaintances of 13 yo DD routinely send nudes to people they are attracted to and doctor images of people they are bullying to
Look degrading. Many boys send the girls unsolicited dick pics. Some of the worst girl offenders have very religious/ conservative parents who have no idea what their DC are up to online. It is horrible. I agree that 13 is way too young but this is where wide spread access at young ages has brought us.

I check my DDs phone photos regularly and talk often about negative consequences of sending nudes or being vulgar online. I don’t think it is possible to insulate from it entirely but it is important to talk about, Caution and make sure DC are not engaging in it.

Are you joking? Nice dig as conservatives 95% of all girls do this including liberals, Jewish girls etc.

? Huh

Where is the dig? No reference to anything political at all???

Oh sorry see your point now - sorry did not mean conservative in political way … more socially so the girls don’t show them parents their secret social
Media and fake profiles.

Yes many girls of all stripes engaging in this unsafe activity - also agree with PP about mixed messaging. It is very hard to find the right balance.

I understood the OP's point. I grew up in a very religious family and my mother is very socially conservative. She has always been in denial about sexuality in young people. Her denial is astounding. Luckily, I was more concerned with getting into a good college so I didn't get into much trouble. But I knew plenty of girls that engaged in risky sexual behavior and their parents had no idea. I can't even imagine if we had social media/cell phones back then. I also recognize that non-religious kids engage in the same behavior. I just never liked the willful ignorance and hypocrisy of some religious people like my mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Says no one she knows got caught or leaked
Is there a site online with real cases?

Does she know 13 year old boys? Does she think they are mature and trustworthy?

Not PP but acquaintances of 13 yo DD routinely send nudes to people they are attracted to and doctor images of people they are bullying to
Look degrading. Many boys send the girls unsolicited dick pics. Some of the worst girl offenders have very religious/ conservative parents who have no idea what their DC are up to online. It is horrible. I agree that 13 is way too young but this is where wide spread access at young ages has brought us.

I check my DDs phone photos regularly and talk often about negative consequences of sending nudes or being vulgar online. I don’t think it is possible to insulate from it entirely but it is important to talk about, Caution and make sure DC are not engaging in it.

Are you joking? Nice dig as conservatives 95% of all girls do this including liberals, Jewish girls etc.

? Huh

Where is the dig? No reference to anything political at all???

Oh sorry see your point now - sorry did not mean conservative in political way … more socially so the girls don’t show them parents their secret social
Media and fake profiles.

Yes many girls of all stripes engaging in this unsafe activity - also agree with PP about mixed messaging. It is very hard to find the right balance.

I understood the OP's point. I grew up in a very religious family and my mother is very socially conservative. She has always been in denial about sexuality in young people. Her denial is astounding. Luckily, I was more concerned with getting into a good college so I didn't get into much trouble. But I knew plenty of girls that engaged in risky sexual behavior and their parents had no idea. I can't even imagine if we had social media/cell phones back then. I also recognize that non-religious kids engage in the same behavior. I just never liked the willful ignorance and hypocrisy of some religious people like my mother.

Thanks for helping me to clarify with much clearer example. I get it. My mother was very conservative in that way as well (denying sexuality in her children as they grew up) but very liberal in many other ways (environmentalist before it was popular, interfaith, helping the poor etc) … it was just very taboo to talk about sex in her family and school culture. I am quite old fashioned myself but acknowledge sexuality is huge part of growing up … the internet has complicated everything and raised the stakes for risky teen behavior. We have to keep communication channels open, be realistic, and try and steer our teens towards safe online and offline behavior. Sexting is definitely not safe or wise.