If your parents moved far away during retirement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 hour flight that will cost our family at least $800/trip. How often would you feel like you had to visit and who pays for the flights?

Did they move to Iceland? Otherwise, how would a five hour flight cost $800?

Fights from DC to SLC, for example, are $600-$800 per person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you are obligated to spend your own money to visit them. They moved, they’re retired, they’re not dragging kids on a flight. If they want to see you, they should pay for it or just make the trip themselves. I say this as the person who has moved away from family. I would not expect other people to spend hundreds of dollars and drag kids on a 5 hr flight to see me.

WTF??
Some of you people are just selfish. They are not obligated to follow your grown asses around. They can live Where they want and what your relationships me did you figure out how often you see each other how often you visit but if you were the one doing the visiting you pay for your own travel arrangements.
Some of you spoiled ass babies think that your parents are supposed to wrap your whole lives around you from birth until death.

No one said anything about grandparents following their kids around. I'm just saying if you move 5 hrs away, you can't expect people to visit you. Isn't it more selfish to move 5 hours away for pretty much no reason and then expect people to drag their kids on an expensive 5 hr plane ride to visit you? And if you're retired, what is really stopping you from travelling to visit your grandkids?

[Anonymous]

it would actually be cheaper and easier for the grandparents to visit you. less people to pay for to fly, and they have unlimited time off.

it would be easier on you and also cheaper even if you paid their way to you. they may not mind always having to be the ones to travel if you paid their way sometimes.

[Anonymous]

i also find it funny people here complaining about having to pay their own way to see parents when everyone is always crowing about their high HHI.

<shrug>

[Anonymous]

ILs moved a 10-hour drive or 4-5 hour flight (no direct flights). We visit about once a year. They typically make it up here 2-3 times a year, depending on what else they have going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a recent retiree I would like to gently suggest that if your parents move a long expensive difficult ways away from you maybe that's a hint that they don't particularly want to hang out with you too often. I'm sure there are other factors involved but it's something to think about.

Yes, I’ve thought about it. Thanks for pointing it out. It also means she won’t have help when she needs it, and I won’t be rushing out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mil moved to a remote mountain village in Colorado. only way there is long flight with a layover and switching planes, getting a car and driving over the mountains with a 2 hour time change. As we told her when she announced the plan, we never come. Travel is both extremely expensive and way to arduous. Plus it’s a house full on antiques and ‘do not touch’.

\

Maybe she was relieved you wouldn't visit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a recent retiree I would like to gently suggest that if your parents move a long expensive difficult ways away from you maybe that's a hint that they don't particularly want to hang out with you too often. I'm sure there are other factors involved but it's something to think about.

Yes, I’ve thought about it. Thanks for pointing it out. It also means she won’t have help when she needs it, and I won’t be rushing out there.

Dp Maybe she is assuming she will have to take care of themselves? Why would you assume that she expects you to take care of them?

[Anonymous]

Some of you posters are truly spoiled brats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so lucky that for half the year my parents live in my neighborhood, the other half year it’s a 3 hour flight and we make the trip once a year. We usually pay because our costs on the other end are almost nothing. Even though the neighborhood house sits empty half the year they won’t sell it because my siblings and I all live within 45 minutes. We are very lucky!

Similar situation here, parents are 3 hours drive away for half the year and overseas the other six months. I pay to fly out and visit overseas once a year. I drive when they are in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a recent retiree I would like to gently suggest that if your parents move a long expensive difficult ways away from you maybe that's a hint that they don't particularly want to hang out with you too often. I'm sure there are other factors involved but it's something to think about.

But they didn’t. Later, OP mentions it’s $800 total. That really is nothing.

Suck it up OP. Most of us spend more than that twice each year to visit family. Parents are allowed to move to Florida or other places to retire. Your question on who pays for YOUR family visits is gross. Grow up.

You pay to travel your family there. They pay to travel themselves to wherever you live. Alternate each year and then you only need to pull together the $800 every other year. I’m sure you can stash away more money to save $800 over two years.

[Anonymous]

We pay, because we are adults and make more than they do. They are retired. My parents always offer to pay but we decline. I try to fly with the kids twice per year. DH rarely comes because of work. I have more flexibility with time off at my job. They moved near a beach so we like visiting, especially in the winter. With Covid, I’ve taken them one time in the past two years and it was in early summer when cases were low. My parents could fly here too but rarely do anymore. They average once every two years. We don’t see them on any holidays now because travel then is too hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i also find it funny people here complaining about having to pay their own way to see parents when everyone is always crowing about their high HHI.

<shrug>

Lol!