Does anyone else just hate the newborn stage so much?

[Anonymous]

Don't use hate in my vocabulary. It is my least favorite. Except for holding them. And the smell of their head. And them holding your finger. And their first smile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They were very hard times, but then also, when its over, so is that newborn smell. When it was really hard I tried to center in on the few things I really loved, like that, and try to force myself to experience those things, knowing they were temporary.

But man, the sleep deprivation is brutal and there's nothing much to be done about it.

My newborn smells like puke thanks to his raging reflux. So did his older brother. Please explain this newborn smell I am missing out on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for saying all this OP. I was feeling the same way but have been too ashamed and guilty to put voice to it.

OP here. Thanks for all the support folks. It helps. Honestly though, and oddly, this post helped the most. At least my misery is showing someone else they’re not alone. That’s something! Hope you’re hanging in there. It’s okay to be miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My second is seven weeks. I hate my life right now. I’ve never functioned well without adequate sleep. We sleep trained our first right at 4 months and since then I’ve loved my life and being a mom. I know once this one is sleep trained I’ll be able to enjoy her too. But right now I just want to run away to a hotel and sleep for a week and hide from everyone.

Nursing is going well, which is great, my husband is fantastic and I pump so he can do the middle of the night feed once or twice a week. Baby is doing really well. I’m just so miserable. I can’t wait for this phase to end and we’re not even half way through it.

Please don’t tell me to suck it up. I AM sucking it up, every damn day. I just hate it.



I don’t even know what I’m asking for. Solidarity? Advice? Just a vent? Ugh, I don’t even know.

Extreme irritability is a sign of depression.

OP here. Honestly, I’m a bit worried about this. This level of irritability and even some anger is unusual for me. And even though this baby is objectively about 1000x easier than my first (he had silent reflux and was borderline for colic. This baby naps like a dream and doesn’t cry all that much for a baby) I’m finding it harder to cope this time.

I don’t even know if it’s worth going down that path though. I was on Prozac previously (unrelated to babies) and weaning off it was so, so unpleasant, even super slowly, and by the time I could get a therapist appointment in a few weeks, I’ll be getting more sleep which I think is the crux of what I need. Plus the logistics of getting care would just cut into my sleep right now.

And I just missed my six week appointment and have to reschedule. We’ll see what they say I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They were very hard times, but then also, when its over, so is that newborn smell. When it was really hard I tried to center in on the few things I really loved, like that, and try to force myself to experience those things, knowing they were temporary.

But man, the sleep deprivation is brutal and there's nothing much to be done about it.

My newborn smells like puke thanks to his raging reflux. So did his older brother. Please explain this newborn smell I am missing out on.

My fourth baby is my first one who didn't spit up vigorously on absolutely everything at all times. He actually smells good! Kind of like the sleeping man smell I get off DH when he's still in bed in the morning? But less musky. I don't know how to explain it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My second is seven weeks. I hate my life right now. I’ve never functioned well without adequate sleep. We sleep trained our first right at 4 months and since then I’ve loved my life and being a mom. I know once this one is sleep trained I’ll be able to enjoy her too. But right now I just want to run away to a hotel and sleep for a week and hide from everyone.

Nursing is going well, which is great, my husband is fantastic and I pump so he can do the middle of the night feed once or twice a week. Baby is doing really well. I’m just so miserable. I can’t wait for this phase to end and we’re not even half way through it.

Please don’t tell me to suck it up. I AM sucking it up, every damn day. I just hate it.



I don’t even know what I’m asking for. Solidarity? Advice? Just a vent? Ugh, I don’t even know.

Extreme irritability is a sign of depression.

OP here. Honestly, I’m a bit worried about this. This level of irritability and even some anger is unusual for me. And even though this baby is objectively about 1000x easier than my first (he had silent reflux and was borderline for colic. This baby naps like a dream and doesn’t cry all that much for a baby) I’m finding it harder to cope this time.

I don’t even know if it’s worth going down that path though. I was on Prozac previously (unrelated to babies) and weaning off it was so, so unpleasant, even super slowly, and by the time I could get a therapist appointment in a few weeks, I’ll be getting more sleep which I think is the crux of what I need. Plus the logistics of getting care would just cut into my sleep right now.

And I just missed my six week appointment and have to reschedule. We’ll see what they say I guess.

OP, can you nap? Can you put your husband in charge of both kids and just crash for three hours some afternoon? You sound sleep-deprived and it sounds like it's not good for you.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the baby. Mine were horribly collicky and had reflux so honestly they were super unhappy. With the second we new to get meds ASAP and that helped, but with the first, ugh. I am several years removed from the newborn stage and I still have PTSD thinking about how hard it was. And we had a NICU stay with a kid, so that mix of guilt that it's so miserable DC is home but so happy DC is home. Mindf@ck.

[Anonymous]

Sleep deprivation is the WORST. Hang in there! I feel exactly the same way. My youngest is now 5, and I still feel dread thinking about those newborn days. As they say, the days are slow, but they years are fast (or something like that). It will be over before you know it!

[Anonymous]

I loved it, can’t relate at all.

[Anonymous]

I have always had a lot of support during the newborn stage. So with all that support, I really loved the newborn stage.

My only work during the first 8 weeks was to nurse the baby on demand and rest. That's it. My DH took over the full care of the baby and he only bought the baby over to me for feeding. He did the burping, changing the diaper, he got up at night, he rocked the baby to sleep. When he went to work, my parents took care of the baby. They had strict instructions from my DH to not wake me up for anything but nursing and tp let me sleep in. LOL, I married a very good man and he treated me like I have done the most amazing thing in the world by giving birth. My mom and dad were tremendous support to us and I was very well cared for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always had a lot of support during the newborn stage. So with all that support, I really loved the newborn stage.

My only work during the first 8 weeks was to nurse the baby on demand and rest. That's it. My DH took over the full care of the baby and he only bought the baby over to me for feeding. He did the burping, changing the diaper, he got up at night, he rocked the baby to sleep. When he went to work, my parents took care of the baby. They had strict instructions from my DH to not wake me up for anything but nursing and tp let me sleep in. LOL, I married a very good man and he treated me like I have done the most amazing thing in the world by giving birth. My mom and dad were tremendous support to us and I was very well cared for.

Look, I love the newborn stage too, and it helps that my mom is nearby and can help, but you do realize your situation is very unique right? Most women don't have that kind of support, and a lot of times there's also a toddler thrown into the mix.