Does anyone else just hate the newborn stage so much?
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Anonymous
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My second is seven weeks. I hate my life right now. I’ve never functioned well without adequate sleep. We sleep trained our first right at 4 months and since then I’ve loved my life and being a mom. I know once this one is sleep trained I’ll be able to enjoy her too. But right now I just want to run away to a hotel and sleep for a week and hide from everyone.
Nursing is going well, which is great, my husband is fantastic and I pump so he can do the middle of the night feed once or twice a week. Baby is doing really well. I’m just so miserable. I can’t wait for this phase to end and we’re not even half way through it. Please don’t tell me to suck it up. I AM sucking it up, every damn day. I just hate it. I don’t even know what I’m asking for. Solidarity? Advice? Just a vent? Ugh, I don’t even know. |
Anonymous
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It goes so fast. You are almost there to when the sleep stretches will get a little longer.
I felt like this from weeks 6-8 with each new baby. It was the height of “are we will doing this newborn !$@&?!” |
Anonymous
| Solidarity here! Those were really, really hard times with both my babies. You just have to muddle through. |
Anonymous
| Sleep deprivation sucks. But, as you know, it will get better, as the baby consolidates his/her sleep, so you just hang in there and nap as much as you can. |
Anonymous
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They were very hard times, but then also, when its over, so is that newborn smell. When it was really hard I tried to center in on the few things I really loved, like that, and try to force myself to experience those things, knowing they were temporary.
But man, the sleep deprivation is brutal and there's nothing much to be done about it. |
Anonymous
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Solidarity from me too. Even knowing my most recent was my last baby, I really struggled to enjoy the newborn phase. I don't do well with the sleep deprivation or round the clock care.
We're at 10 months now and it's great, loving this phase so much. Hang in there. |
Anonymous
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Oh OP I am so with you.
When people ask do you want to hold the baby I'm not a fan. Once they are around 9 months or so, I am in love. Newborn phase not my thing. Toddlers amazing! Empathy for the sleep loss for sure. |
Anonymous
| Yup. I like them after 6 months and then a lot more after 18. I never want to hold a newborn. We nursed well and kids slept ok. But the 2-3 relentless cycle of sleeping and eating and min interaction was mind numbing. Pre covid i got through it by doing things i wanted to do. So with my second i didn't sit at home and stare at baby, i went on a ton of nature walks, ikea, cooked things i wanted etc. |
Anonymous
Yup it sucks. I find women split into "loove new borns" and "tolerate newborns". The latter is somehow looked down on. We love our kids just not the stage and every poop and eye flutter. Im with you. Do things that you want with the limited tome you have. I binged a ton of shows with subtitles while nursing and rocking babies. Lots of carrier time and small adventures for me. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it sucks. But it gets better. Just try to make it day by day. Sleep deprivation and living your life on an endless three-hour cycle sucks. But it's not forever. |
Anonymous
| And then people at work think maternity leave is a vacation and are surprised when you don’t come back happy and refreshed. |
Anonymous
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Solidarity OP. It is hard.
What helped me during that phase was just kind of surrendering to it. I knew I wasn't going to sleep well at night, so I just leaned in hard on sleeping throughout the day when the baby was napping. I don't buy into that "sleep when the baby sleeps!" thing because it doesn't work perfectly and you still need to do things sometimes -- you can't just sleep and feed the baby 24/7. But I did get to the point where I could take a 2 hour nap at like 7am after the first morning feeding, and I would lie down on the couch during the afternoon nap and read or put on really gentle TV (did you know there's a new season of Great British Baking Show on Netflix now??) and doze. It didn't totally make up for the loss of consistent overnight sleep, but it did help me to feel a little more sane. Also, when my DH went back to work he asked me how he could support me during that time and I told him "bring me a treat when you get home!" It didn't have to be a bouquet of flowers or anything (I mean it could be, but not daily), but he'd bring me home some candy, or a trashy magazine, or book he'd borrowed from a coworker, or some fresh office supplies (I love office supplies), just something to perk me up in the evening. It's not a permanent thing, but it helped me get through that period of time. Good luck! This will pass, as you know. |
Anonymous
| You can do it OP! I hate the newborn stage too. My twins are 5 months now and it’s a lot easier. When I was having a hard time, I tried to focus my energy on things I enjoyed doing, like snuggling while nursing, reading a good book while nursing, taking a shower, nice weather on a stroller walk. I also ate whatever I wanted and splurged on good coffee whenever I could. |
Anonymous
| Goodness yes it’s the worst. But it’ll pass and you’ll be okay. |
Anonymous
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It is SO so hard but I promise there is a time when it feels so far away that it's like recalling a distant dream.
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