Mom Told DD about 9/11

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

Come on OP. Your daughter has active shooter drills at school. That’s a lot more scary than hearing about something bad that happened in ancient history—and for a 6 year old 9/11 IS ancient history. It was a long time ago. Your kid is not as fragile as you think.

My daughter is in 2nd grade, so is about to have her second shooter drill. But she doesn't know that's what it is, they just say they practice in case "someone who is not supposed to be in the school is inside the school". I am certainly not going to tell her, though I am sure some other kid will. Older siblings have that effect! But to say every 6 year old knows what they are practicing is not accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

Definitely taught in K. My 2 youngest (born in 2006) were in private (girl) and public (boy) K and learned about it there.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don’t think this is something to be annoyed with your Mom about. Yes, you asked them not to have on the news, but they do. If it was pornography, I would be livid. But, people watching the news is normal, I understand that you do not. Your daughter asked and it sounds like grandmom gave an age appropriate response. The only way to shelter your child is to keep her in the house with you 100% of the time. Once she leaves the house, she will see and hear things (swearing etc) that you don’t like.

I am sure that the benefits of visiting grandparents out weigh the news watching, otherwise you wouldn’t let her go. I wish the world was all peace, love and harmony and these horrific acts of inhumanity didn’t exist, for any of us. Cherish her remaining innocence, it’s still there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don’t think this is something to be annoyed with your Mom about. Yes, you asked them not to have on the news, but they do. If it was pornography, I would be livid. But, people watching the news is normal, I understand that you do not. Your daughter asked and it sounds like grandmom gave an age appropriate response. The only way to shelter your child is to keep her in the house with you 100% of the time. Once she leaves the house, she will see and hear things (swearing etc) that you don’t like.

I am sure that the benefits of visiting grandparents out weigh the news watching, otherwise you wouldn’t let her go. I wish the world was all peace, love and harmony and these horrific acts of inhumanity didn’t exist, for any of us. Cherish her remaining innocence, it’s still there.

OP here, thank you for a thoughtful response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Exactly. My DD thinks they are tornado drills. She has no concept that they are for an active shooter. Schools do shelter younger kids from that (as they should).


Umm, what school is telling them they are tornado drills. Our FCPS has never done that, ever. And I had a kid in kinder when they started, and another one after that.

Our school district does NOT do that either.

Nor our elementary in MCPS. When my dd was in first grade, she told me that during a lockdown, if you happen to be in the bathroom instead of a classroom, you’re supposed to lock yourself in a stall and stand on the toilet seat so bad guys can’t see you. When she was in second grade, some kids wouldn’t be quiet and the teacher told the kids that if it had been a real lockdown, they could have all died. If schools tell kids that lockdown drills are tornado drills, what do they call actual tornado drills?

Having said that, anyone with common sense would give a bare bones explanation of 9/11 to a 6 year old they’re babysitting, turn off the 9/11 coverage, and give the parents a heads up when they come to pick up their child.

[Anonymous]

And if your daughter had been basically anywhere outside of your home—a doctor’s office waiting room, an airport, a town square (“Why are those police officers talking at a podium?”), a friend’s house—in the days leading up to the *20th anniversary* of 9/11, she could have seen TV news coverage or a magazine cover or a newspaper or something related to 9/11.

You and your husband are responsible for preparing your children to see, hear and learn about scary and tragic things, especially historic events.

Let’s say your parents had kept the TV off. Even a copy of “Time” or a Washington Post lying around might have images. Are you really expecting them to hide all reading material for every visit?

Plus, did you specifically remind them not to watch the news that day, because surely you realize that 9/11 coverage would be amped up. Did you specifically ask them to avoid it because of 9/11?

You should have prepared your child.

[Anonymous]

You were just looking for a reason to be ticked off. There’s nothing wrong and talking to her about 911. I think if you’re getting this worked up over that then you should probably get on the ball and talk to her about other sensitive topics ASAP. How babies are made! Santa! The tooth fairy! You’re in for a long ride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're way overreacting.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

She'll learn from other kids in K. Probably other stuff as well. Honestly your mom was right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don’t think this is something to be annoyed with your Mom about. Yes, you asked them not to have on the news, but they do. If it was pornography, I would be livid. But, people watching the news is normal, I understand that you do not. Your daughter asked and it sounds like grandmom gave an age appropriate response. The only way to shelter your child is to keep her in the house with you 100% of the time. Once she leaves the house, she will see and hear things (swearing etc) that you don’t like.

I am sure that the benefits of visiting grandparents out weigh the news watching, otherwise you wouldn’t let her go. I wish the world was all peace, love and harmony and these horrific acts of inhumanity didn’t exist, for any of us. Cherish her remaining innocence, it’s still there.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

Your Kindergartner or 1st grader will *absolutely* hear about it in school. Probably from a formal program at school, and certainly from other kids. Your moms explanation sounded perfectly age appropriate.

[Anonymous]

OP here. WOW. Just FYI, I've asked them to not have the news on when my daughter is there. Apparently they didn't listen.

Sounds like you have a lot of rules about what you want occuring when she is at their house. Might be best if you always accompany here there for visits, in that case. If you need childcare, pay a babysitter, and you can impose whatever rules you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

When my child was in 3rd grade, he mentioned it in morning meeting. I had texted the teacher in the morning to inform her that it was a morning conversation and she could be prepared. At that time, most of the students were unaware. (This is a DCPCS)

[Anonymous]

I don't believe children should be shielded from important historical events, OP, so I side with your mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

Come on OP. Your daughter has active shooter drills at school. That’s a lot more scary than hearing about something bad that happened in ancient history—and for a 6 year old 9/11 IS ancient history. It was a long time ago. Your kid is not as fragile as you think.

Ahem, those are tornado drills. You just need to get in the coat closet and be very quiet so the tornado can’t find you.

Exactly. My DD thinks they are tornado drills. She has no concept that they are for an active shooter. Schools do shelter younger kids from that (as they should).

Wait what?!?? What does your school do for actual tornado drills?