Mom Told DD about 9/11

[Anonymous]

My daughter is 6 and this is the first 9/11 she really has been old enough to notice (probably because of greater media coverage due to the 20th anniversary). We don't watch news around her (or really at all in general). She hadn't asked about it and I personally didn't really care to explain that day to her till she was older. Well she was at my moms house and they have the news on like 24/7 so of course she saw 9/11 coverage and asked about it and apparently she was told the very blunt version - bad men purposely crashed planes into buildings and lots of people died. Once she was back home, a commercial for the 60 Minutes 9/11 special came on during an NFL game and she started getting upset and asked me to turn it off because it was scary and so many people died that day.

I'm kind of annoyed that my mom told her so bluntly. I mean, she's not wrong and my daughter will learn about 9/11 eventually, but ... she's 6 and my response would have been bit more tempered than my mom's. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

You're way overreacting.

[Anonymous]

I think your mom's description of 9/11 was accurate and appropriate.

I also think it's not the end of the world if your DD started to get upset at the 60 Mins special. She finds something on tv scary -> aknowledge that it is scary for her and change the channel.

[Anonymous]

You should have told her yourself. She is well past old enough.

Quit sheltering children from life. I had this conversation last week with a leading mental health consultant. We were chatting about an upcoming presentation, and I mentioned that another mom had clearly thought I was a bad parent because my young kids know about 9/11, the Holocaust, WW2, etc. She said that it is absolutely bad for children not to learn about these things early on, in an age-appropriate way. And that doing so feeds things like Holocaust denial. Sheltering them from history causes them to lack resilience down the road, and that is a trait best built from early ages.

[Anonymous]

I think that if she's in school, you probably should have talked about it beforehand anyway, so that wasn't the first place she hears about it. Keep in mind as well, I don't know how you would explain 9.11 without saying bad people did bad things, so maybe your mom didn't seem as harsh as it sounds she was.

I have sensitive kids too, so I get it. But I am trying to head things like this off by talking about them in a limited way and then letting them take the lead on it and whether they want to talk more, and am sensitive to the tv, and try to turn it off if it bothers them.

[Anonymous]

World is a difficult place to live. You can't shelter her forever. If she is old enough to be scared, she is old enough to know. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

[Anonymous]

Wait til someone tells her about World War Two and the Nazi death camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait til someone tells her about World War Two and the Nazi death camps.

Haha better hope she never hears about Anne Frank and asks what happened to her?

[Anonymous]

It's a fact of life. It is scary, but can't be avoided.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if you're going ot leave your kid with family that laves news on 24/7, you should have been aware. I'm big on sheltering kids - probably too much - and for that reason would have anticipated it.

At this point, you can't be mad or anything - you just have to roll with it and start exposing your child to difficult concepts so she can process them.

I'd start to put this in context so that she's not afraid. Talk through it a couple of times, letting her lad the conversation.

[Anonymous]

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

My mom worked 2 blocks from the WTC, my dad was in a training four blocks away. They've always been open about what happened with my kids, within reason; the kids have been able to handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 6. It's time to introduce the topic.

And remember, it traumatized you far more because you were alive. Your child will have as much connection to it as you do to WW2.

OP here, very true and good point.

For those saying she will learn about it in school ... of course ... but not in kindergarten, right? Or even 1st grade? I was thinking that was more a 3rd grade thing. She and I did have a good conversation about it after she asked me to change the channel, so I'm not upset that she knows, I just thought maybe we had another year or so. Also, she's just a bit of an anxious kid and the pandemic has been plenty for her without talking about global terrorism.

Come on OP. Your daughter has active shooter drills at school. That’s a lot more scary than hearing about something bad that happened in ancient history—and for a 6 year old 9/11 IS ancient history. It was a long time ago. Your kid is not as fragile as you think.

[Anonymous]

Someone put up a large memorial for 9/11 victims on our path to school, and my 5 and 8 year olds asked about it…I was very surprised to learn that they had no idea what 9/11 was.