DH lies all the time about money -- WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Got a call this morning from a creditor -- news to me. An expensive "gift" he gave me (60K) all on a line of credit -- cannot be returned. Wants to refinance the house, wants to sell the house and "rent". Rent is much, much more than our mortgage. Does not want a divorce, but?

[Anonymous]

Who cares if he doesn't want a divorce, you should!

[Anonymous]

please tell us the gift... a car? most everything can be sold and put towards the debt.

[Anonymous]

I don't say this lightly, OP, but I think you'll be headed for divorce sooner or later. I think you need to decide how much damage you will allow your husband to do to you, your credit, your children if you have them, etc., before you acknowledge that. Figure out your boundaries with respect to honesty, money management, and whatever else is threatened here and then live by them.

I bet you could post this on hundred different sites like DCUM and not get a single response by anyone who has been through the same and experienced a happy ending.

I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous]

How could you not have known that the "gift" was that expensive and that he must have charged it? How did he get a 60k line of credit anyway?

[Anonymous]

Yikes! Based on your title, I was guessing he lied that his new golf clubs cost $500 when they really cost $1500. Something sounds seriously wrong with your situation. You need to talk to a lawyer before you become liable for more than you already are. Sorry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How could you not have known that the "gift" was that expensive and that he must have charged it? How did he get a 60k line of credit anyway?

This... wouldn't you know that you can't afford your husband's incredibly fancy/expensive gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:please tell us the gift... a car? most everything can be sold and put towards the debt.

Exactly.

Works out well that it is Easter. Time for a big damn come to Jesus at your house.

No matter what it is, sell it and figure out a way forward. How are your finances otherwise?

[Anonymous]

OP here: We have been married a very long time. We have assets. We don't spend. With savings, easy to spend 60K --even easier to get a loan/debt. It hurts me that he calls this a "gift" under the circumstances. I think I have been blind, ironic as I am handicapped. Maybe there is no more we.

[Anonymous]

OP: leased a very expensive car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't say this lightly, OP, but I think you'll be headed for divorce sooner or later. I think you need to decide how much damage you will allow your husband to do to you, your credit, your children if you have them, etc., before you acknowledge that. Figure out your boundaries with respect to honesty, money management, and whatever else is threatened here and then live by them.

I bet you could post this on hundred different sites like DCUM and not get a single response by anyone who has been through the same and experienced a happy ending.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: leased a very expensive car.

Leases do end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: We have been married a very long time. We have assets. We don't spend. With savings, easy to spend 60K --even easier to get a loan/debt. It hurts me that he calls this a "gift" under the circumstances. I think I have been blind, ironic as I am handicapped. Maybe there is no more we.

sendthe leased car back. use your savings to pay off the difference.

[Anonymous]

So, you would of been alright with him using your savings? If so, don't complain. You know he would of had to pay it with something-cash from savings or loan- pay it off and keep it moving. You knew it was ecpensive when you accepted it and knew the menas to get it came from somewhere. If you are getting creditor cars you probably had the car at least 2 months. You should of said something when he brought it home..not now that you find out that he is not paying the note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, you would of been alright with him using your savings? If so, don't complain. You know he would of had to pay it with something-cash from savings or loan- pay it off and keep it moving. You knew it was ecpensive when you accepted it and knew the menas to get it came from somewhere. If you are getting creditor cars you probably had the car at least 2 months. You should of said something when he brought it home..not now that you find out that he is not paying the note.

Forgive the typos.