DH lies all the time about money -- WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, you would of been alright with him using your savings? If so, don't complain. You know he would of had to pay it with something-cash from savings or loan- pay it off and keep it moving. You knew it was ecpensive when you accepted it and knew the menas to get it came from somewhere. If you are getting creditor cars you probably had the car at least 2 months. You should of said something when he brought it home..not now that you find out that he is not paying the note.

PP You know even less than I do about cars.

[Anonymous]

What I don't know is about a creditor calling my house because of nonpayment of a car(bill)!

[Anonymous]

Is it a 60k car or a 60k lease? It is hard to imagine a 60k lease - most leases are 2 years so that would be like 2500/month. So assuming this is a lease for a 60k car, that is quite a bit less shady than if he opened a 60k unsecured line of credit and purchased something. If the car is just a few months old you probably can sell it to get out of the lease, at a loss, but still undo it.

[Anonymous]

sounds like he leased a car using a line of credit: "he gave me (60K) all on a line of credit" "leased a very expensive car. " Sounds like the line of credit is attached to the house "Wants to refinance the house, wants to sell the house and "rent". "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: We have been married a very long time. We have assets. We don't spend. With savings, easy to spend 60K --even easier to get a loan/debt. It hurts me that he calls this a "gift" under the circumstances. I think I have been blind, ironic as I am handicapped. Maybe there is no more we.

Sounds like she was okay with the expensive gift up until the creditor called and now she has to get rid of her house and rent a place to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: We have been married a very long time. We have assets. We don't spend. With savings, easy to spend 60K --even easier to get a loan/debt. It hurts me that he calls this a "gift" under the circumstances. I think I have been blind, ironic as I am handicapped. Maybe there is no more we.

Sounds like she was okay with the expensive gift up until the creditor called and now she has to get rid of her house and rent a place to live.

Sounds like OP is giving us a half baked story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: We have been married a very long time. We have assets. We don't spend. With savings, easy to spend 60K --even easier to get a loan/debt. It hurts me that he calls this a "gift" under the circumstances. I think I have been blind, ironic as I am handicapped. Maybe there is no more we.

Sounds like she was okay with the expensive gift up until the creditor called and now she has to get rid of her house and rent a place to live.

Sounds like OP is giving us a half baked story.

Agree. There definitely has to be more to the story. If there are assets that could have purchased the gift, there are assets that could pay the monthly lease payment. Op, I agree with the others that you need to get a handle on your entire financial picture asap. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I have to say, that in a marriage, you cannot blame one person entirely. You need to understand your finances too. You also should have some sort of decision-making power in place for purchases that large. This is a sign of a much bigger issue. I hope you find a good solution to this! Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP here: Hello, I thought I did understand! I saved the money. I had it ready. I discussed it. Now finding out I had no say really. It is not the car exactly, it is that it was no "team" effort. I specifically said I would not accept a leased car. I could do without, really. It makes me wonder what else?

[Anonymous]

Story remains half baked.

[Anonymous]

Seems pretty clear to me. OP wanted a car that she had saved for, not a long lease. Car leases are very difficult to break and she is pissed. By the way, DH forgot to make the payments, so OP found out about the lease from a creditor. How hard is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems pretty clear to me. OP wanted a car that she had saved for, not a long lease. Car leases are very difficult to break and she is pissed. By the way, DH forgot to make the payments, so OP found out about the lease from a creditor. How hard is that?

But why does DH want to rent out their house if they have the money to pay for the car? That's what's not making sense to me... And why wasn't she more involved in the purchase process? Like, he seriously went to the dealer by himself and picked up this car and brought it home? It's like pp said, a totally half baked story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Hello, I thought I did understand! I saved the money. I had it ready. I discussed it. Now finding out I had no say really. It is not the car exactly, it is that it was no "team" effort. I specifically said I would not accept a leased car. I could do without, really. It makes me wonder what else?

So to recap:

1. You saved $60,000
2. You gave it to DH
3. DH, rather than buying you a black Mercedes SUV and a pair of juicy pants, leased a BMW x6.
4. You don't know what he did with the other $58,000
5. DH proceeded to default on the lease
6. DH is a tool who somehow thinks renting for more money makes sense

Did I get it right?

[Anonymous]

We have a winner. He just thinks hold onto cash. Returned the money to account, ie, never took it out. Forgot to pay the lease. Not a tool, but I question his mental status. Wants to "play" with our savings by selling the house. I am having trouble sleeping at night. I am handicapped and was very ill that day, so he went by himself to the dealer and returned with the car after much discussion of how to pay for it. If half baked = mental you are getting the picture. Or something else is going on.

[Anonymous]

Did not go for the Mercedes. Might have if I had known the whole plan....