If you're a very sexual person - how do you and SO have couple friends?

[Anonymous]

Let me preface this by saying I am NOT a cheater. I am a very sexual person though, and whenever I've had a male friend, it has always led to sex. When in a relationship, I stay away from other males to avoid temptation and feeling that excitement of getting to know an attractive male. I don't know how to just be friends with a male and not feel that excitement or the desire to be flirty. SO and I have been to dinner with couple friends but I find it awkward and would rather just hang out with him alone, or girlfriends.
Can anyone relate to this or offer advice?

[Anonymous]

therapy. this is not normal

[Anonymous]

No, I can't relate to that. But I do have a question if you don't mind?

What is your relationship like with your birth father? Did he live with your family throughout your childhood and teen years?

[Anonymous]

Have you ever worked outside the home? What are your relationships with make colleagues like?

[Anonymous]

Whoops, Freudian typo. Meant "male" colleagues.

[Anonymous]

Therapy. This is a boundary issue that you need to address. Your self / marriage is not stable if you feel compelled to connect sexually with every man you meet.

[Anonymous]

So it doesn't matter what the male looks like. You are just like a dog in heat wanting to mount EVERY male in sight?

[Anonymous]

If you don't act on the impulse, it is not wrong or necessarily abnormal to feel this way. However you do need to train yourself to focus on other aspects of their personality, conversation, etc when you socialize with them. Maybe in that sense a specialized therapist might be helpful?

I too must repress such thoughts when I meet someone I find attractive. The easy part is that I'm super picky and rarely meet anybody remotely attractive! A friend's husband has made this list however, and I manage to meet him only at parties instead of scheduling an intimate couples evening with that particular set of friends.

[Anonymous]

No, this is not normal. And I don't think it has anything to do with how sexual you are.

This is a self image thing. I would venture to say that you have very low self esteem and the only way you know how to be accepted by men is to flirt and be sexual. You feel that they only way to get respect is to be a sex bomb. How was your childhood? I bet your father wasn't around.

[Anonymous]

How was your childhood? I bet your father wasn't around.

Jinx -- I already asked that.

[Anonymous]

Much more info needed to make a good assessment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, this is not normal. And I don't think it has anything to do with how sexual you are.

This is a self image thing. I would venture to say that you have very low self esteem and the only way you know how to be accepted by men is to flirt and be sexual. You feel that they only way to get respect is to be a sex bomb. How was your childhood? I bet your father wasn't around.

Not the OP, but I've heard this so many times and I'd like to understand how an absent or distant father would cause a young girl to later become promiscuous. Why is promiscuity the outcome and not say, a hatred of men, or inability to relate to men at all, or any other of 100 outcomes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, this is not normal. And I don't think it has anything to do with how sexual you are.

This is a self image thing. I would venture to say that you have very low self esteem and the only way you know how to be accepted by men is to flirt and be sexual. You feel that they only way to get respect is to be a sex bomb. How was your childhood? I bet your father wasn't around.

Not the OP, but I've heard this so many times and I'd like to understand how an absent or distant father would cause a young girl to later become promiscuous. Why is promiscuity the outcome and not say, a hatred of men, or inability to relate to men at all, or any other of 100 outcomes?

She never said she was promiscuous first of all. Although, it's not far fetched to conclude that she was. An absent father, such as mine was, could cause a girl to not know how to relate to men and seek constant approval. Why is it hard to believe that if a young girl didn't get the love and affection from her father that she would seek it from other men. It's textbook and it happened to me.

[Anonymous]

I am too but I have lots of platonic male friends. Are you really sexually attracted to every male you like as a person?

[Anonymous]

I understand being drawn to very attractive men. I mean yeah, you're human. I get flustered too in the presence of attractive charming men but the catch is that I very rarely meet these kinds of men. Look around you, unless you live in a movie, how many Brad Pitt look alikes do you come across during the course of your day?