Posting on Facebook where kid is going -Yes or No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is definitely a way to post without sounding braggy. I will use an example of one of my FB friends a couple of years ago.

What she could have done:

Larla has just decided to attend Vanderbilt in the fall! We are so proud of her!

What she did instead:

Larla has just decided to attend Vanderbilt in the fall! Her generous merit package enticed her to attend this school instead of the others that accepted her including, Harvard and Princeton. We are so proud of her!!

I saw a reverse of that post along the lines of -- "DD is going to [obscure] Big state U, it was a really brutal year in admissions for everyone and no one got in anywhere good" (as if the top 100 schools remained empty that year). So sad to see her back-handed slight of her truly awesome kid, who no doubt will do really well.

Oh man, I feel badly for that kid and not because she’s going to [obscure] Big state U.

Also, I did see on FB that one of my friend’s kids transferred from DCUM favorite Elon to [obscure] Big state U and he is so much happier.

[Anonymous]

DD just got another rejection. Still happy to applaud my friends' kids who are in. They are cheering DD on and hoping the best for her too. That's what friends do. If this does not describe your fb friend set, consider culling, rebuilding and investing in true friends. We've got to support one another!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious on thoughts. Do you think it's OK to post on FB where your kid is off to? And if so, is it completely tacky to mention merit? Like can I mention kid is a "Provost Scholar" (or whatever) - and yes, it makes them sound way smarter than they actually are. I think a simple "my kid is going here," with pic of kid in college sweatshirt, is sufficient.
Don't get me started on the bed party trend...

I love seeing where everyone is going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A mom I know (a generally sweet person despite her MLMness) has a college senior who made the dean's list. I wonder if this will ever end?

I just have to think, if that sort of information is something you don’t want to see, perhaps the better thing to do is unfriend this person, or at a minimum, unfollow them. She’s clearly not someone you genuinely care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Loud and proud. Look, I dont post every one of them (and there were a lot of them so far) but once my son decided where he was going...it was time to shout from the mountaintops loud and proud.

Dont like it? Too bad.

We just think you are pathetic having to brag that way.

It ain’t bragging if you can back it up.
—Dizzy Dean

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I would love to see the Venn diagram of the “don’t post on Facebook” parents with the “don’t even ask your roommate for a couple hours per week privacy in the dorm room so you can do online tutoring” parents from the other day. I bet it would be close to 100%. Very bizarre views here on DCUM….

Yea, me too. The "don't post" / "don't throw the roommate" out are the ones who care about the feelings of other and look outward. As opposed to being self-centered and self-absorbed.

And we wonder why we’ve got a generation of delicate snowflakes with parents who think like this….

So respecting others makes you a snowflake?

Saying that this is "respecting others" is conclusory. Viewing everyone and their feelings as unbelievably fragile is what makes you a snowflake.

Let me be clear: I'm not against parents posting college acceptances/choices on social media because I worry about the "fragility" of the readers. I'm against it because I think it it makes the parent look pathetic and because it's probably embarrassing (or should embarrass) the kid. In the case of the roommate, again, there's no concern about fragility -- it's just an obnoxious thing to do.

The common thread with both is that you're being self-centered. You're not really posting about the college because you think the whole world will be happy and thrilled for you -- you're doing it to say "look at me, look at me!" And it's just pathetic.

No. I'm posting about it because I have a supportive large network of friends who want to know about each other and their families' lives, and who celebrate their exciting news and support each other through the tough times. If anything is pathetic, it's that you don't have that.

The suggestion that it is even reasonable to believe that any of these things could be viewed as obnoxious is the kind of outlook that leads to raising fragile children.

Fragile children my a$$! It is exactly as the prior poster before you said— self-centered and pathetic. We are cringing and embarrassed for you. This has nothing to do with how we raise our children. It’s reality. Most people cringe when parents post this crap. You can think all the high and mighty on your high horse stuff you want. The reality is that most people don’t care to read self-centered brags. That’s really what it is.

You people are weird. I have never once cringed when a friend posted where their child is going to college.

This must be an East Coast reaction, to cringe. Seems very old money WASP-y to me. All of my Midwestern family and friends post where their kid decides to go to school. And they get lots of happy comments from other midwesterners.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You people are so weird. I don’t have kids of college age but I love seeing updates on where my friend’s kids are going. Why else be on FB if you don’t want to see the highlights of people’s lives? Who has the energy to read all this other crap into it?

Dogs and babies: great.

Where Larla is going to college: not great

LOL. Now I know you’re just trolling.

I absolutely am not. When you're bored at work or chilling at home and want something to smile at, what would you rather look at: a friend being silly with their cute dog or baby, or a friend bragging about their kid's college choice?

If I can smile at a friend's cute baby, why wouldn't I smile at that child's joy 17 years later when their parent shares where he/she is going to college?

Some people on here are just weird about college. Why is any "hey my kid is going to X next year" post automatically "bragging"? Is any vacation photo a brag? If you are having trouble getting pg, maybe those cute baby pictures are perceived as "bragging".

"Joy?" Seriously? Who talks like that?

Yea, you're not a nun or librarian. Sure.

You seem to be using nun and librarian in a derogatory way as though you freel superior for not being one.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I would love to see the Venn diagram of the “don’t post on Facebook” parents with the “don’t even ask your roommate for a couple hours per week privacy in the dorm room so you can do online tutoring” parents from the other day. I bet it would be close to 100%. Very bizarre views here on DCUM….

Yea, me too. The "don't post" / "don't throw the roommate" out are the ones who care about the feelings of other and look outward. As opposed to being self-centered and self-absorbed.

And we wonder why we’ve got a generation of delicate snowflakes with parents who think like this….

So respecting others makes you a snowflake?

Saying that this is "respecting others" is conclusory. Viewing everyone and their feelings as unbelievably fragile is what makes you a snowflake.

Let me be clear: I'm not against parents posting college acceptances/choices on social media because I worry about the "fragility" of the readers. I'm against it because I think it it makes the parent look pathetic and because it's probably embarrassing (or should embarrass) the kid. In the case of the roommate, again, there's no concern about fragility -- it's just an obnoxious thing to do.

The common thread with both is that you're being self-centered. You're not really posting about the college because you think the whole world will be happy and thrilled for you -- you're doing it to say "look at me, look at me!" And it's just pathetic.

No. I'm posting about it because I have a supportive large network of friends who want to know about each other and their families' lives, and who celebrate their exciting news and support each other through the tough times. If anything is pathetic, it's that you don't have that.

The suggestion that it is even reasonable to believe that any of these things could be viewed as obnoxious is the kind of outlook that leads to raising fragile children.

Fragile children my a$$! It is exactly as the prior poster before you said— self-centered and pathetic. We are cringing and embarrassed for you. This has nothing to do with how we raise our children. It’s reality. Most people cringe when parents post this crap. You can think all the high and mighty on your high horse stuff you want. The reality is that most people don’t care to read self-centered brags. That’s really what it is.

You people are weird. I have never once cringed when a friend posted where their child is going to college.

This must be an East Coast reaction, to cringe. Seems very old money WASP-y to me. All of my Midwestern family and friends post where their kid decides to go to school. And they get lots of happy comments from other midwesterners.

No, I think it is one weird poster with an inferiority complex masked as superiority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:You people are so weird. I don’t have kids of college age but I love seeing updates on where my friend’s kids are going. Why else be on FB if you don’t want to see the highlights of people’s lives? Who has the energy to read all this other crap into it?

Dogs and babies: great.

Where Larla is going to college: not great

LOL. Now I know you’re just trolling.

I absolutely am not. When you're bored at work or chilling at home and want something to smile at, what would you rather look at: a friend being silly with their cute dog or baby, or a friend bragging about their kid's college choice?

If I can smile at a friend's cute baby, why wouldn't I smile at that child's joy 17 years later when their parent shares where he/she is going to college?

Some people on here are just weird about college. Why is any "hey my kid is going to X next year" post automatically "bragging"? Is any vacation photo a brag? If you are having trouble getting pg, maybe those cute baby pictures are perceived as "bragging".

"Joy?" Seriously? Who talks like that?

Yea, you're not a nun or librarian. Sure.

You seem to be using nun and librarian in a derogatory way as though you freel superior for not being one.

+1 I am related to several nuns and a librarian, and PP is clearly someone who is deeply hurting. Plus, who doesn't use the word joy? I also love to see the happy announcements of everyone's kids' next step in life. It is a joyful moment!

[Anonymous]

I have lots of friends with kids this age...just got accepted in past few years and still in process with other kids. Many of these "friends" rarely post on Facebook, but all of them posted about kids' acceptances. It is great to get the news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, express yourself where and how you feel comfortable with.

Some of the biggest FB shamers I know are on FB under fake names or cutesy versions of their real names. Yet they tell everyone else they are "above" being on social media.

Do you and don't worry about what others think or say, OP.

100% this.

[Anonymous]

I would be thrilled to see some kids college acceptances instead of a Wordle score. Dead serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be thrilled to see some kids college acceptances instead of a Wordle score. Dead serious.

+ 1000!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be thrilled to see some kids college acceptances instead of a Wordle score. Dead serious.

Truth.

[Anonymous]

I hate braggy people on social media, but even I think it's okay to say where your kid is going to college. I like seeing that. It gives me ideas about various schools, especially when you sort of know the kids or the family. That's the kind of big thing people post on Facebook, whether you hate Facebook or not.

Boasting about merit aid? No. That's really tacky.