Would you say this is abusive?

[Anonymous]

The pastor at a church I visited was doing a series on raising kids so I was very eager to get any tips I could. When I was little, my mom would wash my mouth out with soap, so I know about the whole potty mouth consequence. What he said they do with their DD's is make sure they know what kind of talk is not allowed, and when they cross the line, they get a dot of Tabasco on their tongues to remind them to keep their mouths under control. Of course, he said they almost never have to do anything but reach into the purse and set the trial size bottle on the table to get their attention now that they've been down the road a time or two.

On one hand, it does seem very effective and a quick, direct association with bad things coming out of your mouth = bad taste going onto your mouth. On the other hand, that is some pretty fiery stuff. I almost think it could be considered child abuse, if you wanted to break it down. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

I'm a clinical social worker and although I wouldnt support this practice, I would also not categorize it as child abuse (especially if it really is only 1 drop). I think it's going to cause the child physical discomfort-and I think if a child were forced to take more than a drop or 2 I might consider it abuse b/c it could cause gastrointestinal upset and it's against the child's will.

But 1 drop on the mouth is unlikely going to get any judge to consider it abuse. I think it's a terrible practice. Even though it may make sense to the adult, the metaphor is lost on the child and all they know is they are being forced to put something in their mouth they dont want and it burns.

[Anonymous]

Don't take any parenting advice from your pastor. I beg of you! Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It is abusive. Children are much more sensitive to the active ingredient in hot peppers than adults are. It is corporal punishment, even if it isn't aimed at a bottom.

I wouldn't take advice from this pastor. My child isn't afraid of little bottles, and his kids are. My child also doesn't have a potty mouth - perhaps because we are careful what we say.

[Anonymous]

In my mind it's emotionally abusive. Anything that causes a child to have true fear.

[Anonymous]

Maybe not the nicest form of discipline, but a drop of Tobasco? Definitely not child abuse! However, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, obviously don't implement it.

[Anonymous]

The Post had a story about this several years ago. It's some kind of trend.

[Anonymous]

OP, you gotta tell us: where do you live??

[Anonymous]

IMO it's abusive. The Washington Post did a story on this a few years ago. Lisa Whelchel (Blair from The Facts of Life) is an advocate of "saucing".

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A52899-2004Aug9.html

[Anonymous]

It's the whole corporal punishment (spanking, mouth with soap, etc.) vs. time-out/go to your room debate on which discipline is more effective.

Just like parenting styles, you'll have a lot of opinions, personal preferences, and wide range of kids' ages.

[Anonymous]

From the above link re: a mom who was hot-sauced as a child:

She still remembers the feeling of hot sauce on her tongue 30 years ago: "It hurt. It burned. It was hard to get rid of the sensation."

I'm the OP, and I think this is what would prevent me from using hot sauce on my child. I think that could seriously leave a psychological mark on a child. To have your mom administer pain like that. I know too that as we get older, our taste buds die and we like hotter food. I wonder if the corollary is true, that younger kids have even more sensitive taste buds and this could be excruciating?

Like I said, my kids bait and spar each other, whine, say mean things - - and I want something that will work because time outs and scoldings aren't doing the trick. But I don't want my kids to be telling their adult friends one day, yeah my mom used to put hot sauce on my tongue and it made me hate her.

[Anonymous]

is soap abuse? I use it, only had to do it once. I had it used on me as a child. I remember it but it wasn't painful, just gross.

[Anonymous]

I'm also a clinical social worker, and drawing the line between a parent's choice to use corporal punishment and abuse is a tricky thing.

My feeling is, does using hot sauce or soap teach the lesson that's intended? Children who are disciplined this way don't learn not to have a potty mouth because it's disrespectful and socially inappropriate. They learn that when someone is bigger and stronger than you, they can force you to do things that hurt you, so you'd better shut up and do what's required. Definitely not in line with a WWJD mentality, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like one sick pastor.

On the basis of this I would probably question the rest of his teachings too.

[Anonymous]

it is totally abuse. as an above poster said: small children are much more sensitive to the active ingredient in hot sauce. you just don't know what the stuff will do to their little bodies! please find a more compassionate, effective means to discipline your children.

what really gets me about this ignorant pastor is that there will be bigger idiots in his flock who will think, "hey, if one drop doesn't work, let's try 2, 3, ...10". you could kill a child! that guy should be de-frocked.