DH Sucks Sometimes

[Anonymous]

My DH went to happy hour. It was a contractors last day. He left for happy hour at 5:40pm.

I am waiting to get him from the metro. It is storming here. I cannot put the baby to bed until I pick him up.

Why does he not answer his phone or reply to me when I ask if he has left or not. You know, so I can figure out what to do with the baby.

I loathe happy hour evenings. He is never respectful and never keeps his word and will flat out ignore me instead of updating me on what is going on.

Rant over.

[Anonymous]

Let him find his own way home and put the baby to bed.

If he wants that favour, he needs to be respectful about giving you at least occasional/important updates.

[Anonymous]

Put the baby to bed and then don't answer the phone. Let him figure out how to get home.

[Anonymous]

Good suggestions. I am going to do that. I just dread any mention of happy hour. I get the "I'll only be out an hour" bullshit. But then of course he is four hours and jus does not call. I HATE him sometimes.

[Anonymous]

i actually don't think that's a great idea. let him figure out what to do? he could easily find some other lady to spend the night with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i actually don't think that's a great idea. let him figure out what to do? he could easily find some other lady to spend the night with.

Nah, I doubt it. At most he will need to take a cab home while drunk. Another woman was not my worry. Just him being inconsiderate was.

[Anonymous]

My DH pulls this shit with golf stuff, makes me NUTS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH pulls this shit with golf stuff, makes me NUTS.

What do you do? Ignore it? Argue? Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i actually don't think that's a great idea. let him figure out what to do? he could easily find some other lady to spend the night with.

I think that if he were going to find another lady to spend the night with he would do it whether she picked him up or not.

OP: My husband does this on occassion too, but he doesn't take the Metro. I have been up at night TERRIFIED when I couldn't get through to his cell phone and when he came in I started balling almost immediately. I know I'm over-reacting but I'm an over-reacter! Anyway, I think this is an issue most people deal with. You don't hate your husband, you hate this particular behavior.....and I think most people do!

[Anonymous]

As the person that has to go to the occasional happy hour to keep my connections and seem like a team player, I used to say I'd be home at 7ish knowing I would be home later just because I didn't want to hear the complaining. I was basically lying and it was disrespectful. Now I am honest about when I'm going to be home even though it is later than I would have previously said but make sure I get home when I said I would.

If I were you I'd tell your husband "Look I understand that you need to go to the occasional happy hour but please be honest with me about when you think you will be home. I will stop groaning, complaining and nagging just as long as you make it home when you say you are going to."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the person that has to go to the occasional happy hour to keep my connections and seem like a team player, I used to say I'd be home at 7ish knowing I would be home later just because I didn't want to hear the complaining. I was basically lying and it was disrespectful. Now I am honest about when I'm going to be home even though it is later than I would have previously said but make sure I get home when I said I would.

If I were you I'd tell your husband "Look I understand that you need to go to the occasional happy hour but please be honest with me about when you think you will be home. I will stop groaning, complaining and nagging just as long as you make it home when you say you are going to."

I have tried this approach. I would not even care if he was late as long as he was honest.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree - if he would tell you what time he'll be home, you can deal with it. As long as you don't renege on your promise to deal, he shouldn't have a problem with it.

FYI, I would tell him on those nights, you are putting the baby to bed at 8pm (or whenever is right for the baby!) and if he will be home before then, you're happy to pick him up. If not, he needs to plan on taking a cab. And just go on your merry way.

My DH does this with dinner every single night. I finally told him, look I'm feeding the kids at 6pm because they are hungry and cannot wait until 7:30/8pm when he gets home to eat. It's frustrating but it did put me back in control of my world again, knowing what I can depend on and giving the kids consistency in the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put the baby to bed and then don't answer the phone. Let him figure out how to get home.

I hear you loud and clear OP. I get soo pissed too. DH just ends up taking a taxi, stumbles through the drunk, I continue to get mad because he is noisy and clumsy, and then the next morning he doesn't understand why I am mad (which infuriates me even more).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH pulls this shit with golf stuff, makes me NUTS.

Yeah, and 18 holes can last all day (or so it seems).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH pulls this shit with golf stuff, makes me NUTS.

Yeah, and 18 holes can last all day (or so it seems).

Oh, it does. 12 hours golfing, cause they need a break.