17 year-old DD invited to coed sleepover

[Anonymous]

My first reaction is "no way." Why can't her friends have a party and then sleep in their own beds?

This is a group of good friends, boys and girls, no couples that I know of, but of course I don't know everything that goes on.

Are coed sleepovers really as commonplace as my daughter says they are?

[Anonymous]

No. I have five kids. Three away at college. One in high school. And one in fifth. Never in my 23 years of parenting have I heard of a coed sleepover. I wouldn't let my child go simply because the very idea is enough to make me doubt the judgement of the parents in charge.

[Anonymous]

We had them a lot when I was in high school - my (female) best friend was only one grade behind her brother, and we all (her female friends + his male friends) hung out together a lot. Every so often we would all end up at their house on the same night. Everyone slept in sleeping bags on the floor of the living room. There was never any funny business, even though some couples developed and dissipated over the years - that would have been extremely frowned upon and "gross" to the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

She's 17. If she's gonna have sex, she's gonna have sex. But I'm guessing she's not gonna have it in front of all her friends.

Time to snip those apron strings, Mom.

[Anonymous]

Be sure to pack the condoms and Valtrex. Or tell that bitch to pay some bills, then she can worry about sexovers. Put 700 on this mortgage then come talk to me like you are grown.

[Anonymous]

I think it's not unheard of after the prom. But just a regular ole spcoed sleepover? No. But I don't like my DD on sleepovers with girls. Up all night, no sleep, etc etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I have five kids. Three away at college. One in high school. And one in fifth. Never in my 23 years of parenting have I heard of a coed sleepover. I wouldn't let my child go simply because the very idea is enough to make me doubt the judgement of the parents in charge.

+1

[Anonymous]

We had a few if them growing up. We'd go to friends' summer houses and all sleep in sleeping bags (1 person per bag) and stay up all night talking. There weren't any couples in my group of friends and no one ever did anything but talk and laugh. Occasionally a parent would remind us that it was late.

Now in my 40's I don't have a problem with that kind of bonding and if DS asked to do something similar it would be okay. Not everything is about sex. You know your kid. Trust or don't but when they go to college you aren't going to have a camera, a parent, and a microphone telling them what to do and not do in the dorm room.

[Anonymous]

It would depend on how well I knew the other kids and their parents, especially the parents hosting this. If there wasn't going to be much in the way of parental supervision, that would not necessarily be a deal breaker -- as PP said, they're practically grown, time to cut the apron strings. But if your daughter does not know the other kids well, or there are known trouble-makers among them, that increases the likelihood of someone getting really drunk, drugged up, sexually assaulted, etc. And if the other parents don't know what is happening and would never allow it if they did, you might get blamed later because you knew. Most important thing if you let her do it make sure she knows she can call at any hour and ask to be picked up, no explanation required.

[Anonymous]

I went to one for New Year's Eve at a male friend's house when I was in college. I was a junior in COLLEGE and my father still freaked. It was just the parents' way of ensuring that no one drove home drunk. We just watched movies and talked all night long. No sex.

[Anonymous]

I had a coed sleepover in high school and ended up "fooling around" with the girls. The boys watched. I would never allow my kids to sleepover.

[Anonymous]

My DD did one after senior prom. At the house of a girl with very strict parents (who were home) so I didn't worry about it. But as a general rule not a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's 17. If she's gonna have sex, she's gonna have sex. But I'm guessing she's not gonna have it in front of all her friends.

Time to snip those apron strings, Mom.

Wrong. I was at a "sleepover" at a beach house and one other couple was going at it in the dark with about a dozen of their closest friends listening. When you're young and horney, judgement goes out the window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD did one after senior prom. At the house of a girl with very strict parents (who were home) so I didn't worry about it. But as a general rule not a good idea.

Parents weren't that strict. What exactly is the point of a sleepover though and who does one in high school at that?

[Anonymous]

We did co-ed sleepovers in HS with parents at home and sometimes, if we were lucky, with no parents at home or parents out for the evening and home overnight. If the parents were out for the evening, but coming home after dinner and a movie, my boyfriend and I arrived early so that we could have sex a couple of times before they got home. If the parents were out for the evening, we waited until everyone went to bed and then grabbed an empty room and took our time. If parents were home all night sometimes no sex for us and sometimes we were lucky enough to be in a house with a nice finished basement with multiple rooms or a secluded backyard in the summer. I loved my senior year in HS