unmarried and IVF
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Anonymous
| I've been with my partner for 8 years ... we recently decided to officially get married and set a date. However, we've been TTC for a long time and finally are at the point of trying IVF. But I just realized we'll need a marriage certificate to get approval. So, we are planning to make it official about 6 months before the wedding so we don't run into any trouble. But it does seem crazy, unfair, and totally paternalistic to me. I really really feel for gay couples going through the process knowing they have no way to use "spouse sperm" and therefore get stuck with 100% of the IVF bill. Ugh. No real question here just one more thing that seems slightly wrong about this whole process. |
Anonymous
| I couldn't agree more that the whole thing is incredibly unfair, but would note that loads of married couples face the same thing because insurance sucks and blows. You are very lucky to have coverage at all. We and many, many others been stuck with the whole bill for IVF and have been married for a decade. |
Anonymous
| Yes, we are married and still had to pay out-of-pocket b/w our insurance did not cover a thing. Insurance coverage for fertilty is spotty at best. |
Anonymous
| Us too. All my IUI/IVF procedures were not covered at all by our insurance (which is generally considered to be great). The only thing they covered were the blood tests. |
Anonymous
| Wait, why do you need a marriage certificate? Does your insurance require that? I have done IVF and definitely was never asked for a marriage certificate by my insurance company or otherwise. |
Anonymous
| PP^^ Many plans require that the couple be married and that they are using W's eggs and H's sperm or it's not covered. They actually want to see the marriage license. I know I had to fax mine in. |
Anonymous
| Agree w/ 10:36 about IVF. My understanding (and I am not 100% on this) that the marriage certificate is more important for IUI coverage than for IVF coverage. Of course, everyone's coverage is different. I am single and have been TTC w/ donor sperm w/ IVF and IUI. Moving on (happily) to adoption.Good luck! |
Anonymous
Good luck to you, PP!! We too have happily moved on to adoption and could not be more thrilled! At least I know I am getting something (someone  ) at the end of this proces, where all of the IF stuff was just a roll of the dice! Like I said, I coudn't be happier! Anyway, best of luck to us both! 
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Anonymous
| Our insurance company has been awesome through this whole process. They do require that we were married, but they didn't ask for proof and they have covered everything (except FET - which we didn't have anyway-so it didn't really much matter). That being said, it is really unfair that same sex couples don't have the same coverage. Now that the law has changed in Maryland to allow same-sex marriages, it is my hope that they will work on the IVF coverage as well (Maryland is one of the few states that MANDATE IVF coverage). |
Anonymous
Yes, I know this is true. Though, the coverage I do have seems to be a moving target and certain cycles randomly denied. But something is better than nothing even if they end up denying the IVF, I'll have had some monitoring paid for. |
Anonymous
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Maryland State Code 15:810 Mandates insurance coverage for IVF for married couples who use their spouses sperm. I am single, hetro, and believe this law discriminates against single women, the LGBT community, and couples with male factor infertility.
I have written a lettter to my state senator, Victor Ramirez, and if you are interested in doing the same, call 410-841-3745. I have also filed complaints with my employer and called the Equity for Maryland office. This is not just a matter of "accepting it." I am not expected to perform half the job so why should I get half the benfits? |
Anonymous
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if you are interested in sending an email to Senator Ramirez, his info is online too.
For those in Virginia, I am familiar with the current code but good luck to you! |
Anonymous
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Maryland actually has much better practices than most Statse- at least it mandates IVF coverage for SOMEONE. it's my undesranding this "concession" (which i agree is awful) to only do married couples with their own eggs/sperm was a concession to the catholic lobby who didn't want to do IVf at all.
so maryland is bad but its better than most. i had to get my marriage licesnse to MDIPA before they would approve me for ivf. |
Anonymous
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I have gay friends in VA that are trying to have a child. Their group benefits have previously provided access to IUI benefits, via donor sperm. Now, as they try for #2, they are required to do IUI for 6 mos and pay out of pocket before insurance will cover IVF. All because they aren't married with "easy access to sperm." This is due to some changes their employer made with a third party company providing authorization for fertility treatment. If a non-married couple wanted to seek fertility treatment, they would also require 6 mos of failed treatments, out of pocket, as proof they have been trying. Yet, if they were a married couple, they can simply state they have been trying for 6 mos. The third party company stated this is documented in the terms of coverage for their insurance, yet HR has not made that available to the couple. The company is self-insured so regardless of what legal requirements would be put in place in the future, as a self insured company, being self insured, they are exempt.
I think the marriage certificate is ridiculous. I can't possibly fathom that THAT many gay and non-married couples are costing insurance companies that much money for this treatment. What's worse is this couple had the benefit 4 yrs ago but now, nope. |
Anonymous
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I am a State of Maryland employee and married. However, I have no idea how the insurance company know's I'm married. My husband is insured under his plan, and no one ever asked for any sort of documentation on my marital status. FYI, I have UHC.
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