Deep Racism Problems at NCS and STA: Questions/Answers we can't get through admissions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this toxic lot help float the costs of the school and future giving? Also assume some are legacy families, hard to say no to when they give the school some continuity including financially. Just curious who you would replace them with once they are secretly banned.

They might that they do. You’re clearly one of them. You think you’re the only ones in town with money. Ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Many of this subset aren’t even rich or even that wealthy. Their grandparents might have been. No one is falling for this. You can look at the major donors at the cathedral, and no, the toxic little subset is not “floating” the school. You’re hilarious and delusional.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry but everyone needs to stop scapegoating these issues on the Chevy Chase Club. There are members at STA just like there are at many other schools in our area. The vast majority of STA parents are not members and there are tons of uber wealthy parents at STA who are not members. There may be Chevy members you don’t care for or agree with politically, but there are also very nice families who you would like and agree with. To blame all of STA’s issues on a handful of club members is ludicrous and absurd. STA’s issues run much deeper and are the result of an entrenched culture of elitism, privilege, and competition they foster with their messaging. It is also the result of admissions and who they prioritize. Sure they have been working on prioritizing diversity, but they also prioritize wealth, ability to donate big $, and connected families. These two priorities have eliminated the middle ground population and created a dichotomy of have and have not. Then you throw in the constant message that your the best of the best and it creates the culture we are seeing. There is an underlying level of competition, especially among the parents. Whose child is truly the smartest, the best student, the best athlete, the most talented, the most popular, etc. The pressure is real for a lot of these kids and they’re pushed by their parents to perform. We pay $50k a year for you to be at this top school that we got you into and you need to succeed and achieve. The reality that no one wants you to know is that the majority of these boys are no more gifted intellectually or academically than the majority of boys at other schools in our area. Boys at STA are equal to boys at Prep, Landon, Maret, Sidwell, GDS, St. Anselms, etc. They are normal boys, some are brilliant and super talented and others are normal above average to average kids. It’s the same at most highly competitive schools in our area. The difference is this culture described above of constantly being told they are the best of the best and better than everyone else, the great divide in social economics (no middle ground/have and have nots), the constant stress to achieve, and the competition especially among parents which translates to kids. It’s a pressure cooker academically, socially, financially, athletically, etc. And guess what, it’s boiling over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dating discrimination is that white women date black men but black women don’t like to date white men. Because they don’t find white men attractive. Sure, they would hook up with George Clooney but they ain’t going out with George from Seinfeld.

Exactly. White men are the most frequent victims of discrimination.

LOL. This thread has long since jumped the shark. People that are new to these issues think the sky is falling. For many of us, this has been standard in nearly all institutions -- not just the elite ones. It's not right or acceptable and we should strive to fix these issues, but this is a part of life for black folks. It's good that people are starting to acknowledge it. But the pendulum can swing too far into woke-land where black folks, like maybe in the case of the NCS diversity and inclusion person who quit on the very students she claimed were being abused even though addressing issues of diversity were her express charge within her job description (sorry, just my view, don't quit and say it's not your job to fix something that is literally your job to fix or at least help out with. Ultimately, you were there to serve the students, not yourself), begin to focus more on how things ought to be rather than how to thrive within what is...WHILE seeking positive change for yourself and others.

Whether people like it or not, that's the landscape, which by the way if appreciably better than what it has been heretofore. Quitting or just throwing your hands up in the air and leaving only deprives you of the benefits that come from inclusion. Yes, there is a price to pay and those of us with children in these schools need to be careful that they aren't undermined or disillusioned in the name of an elite education. But that's the balance.

"That's the price to pay?" You and I clearly see things quite differently, as I do not believe that having my child's head photoshopped on top of the corpse of a holocaust victim is a price I'm willing to pay--or for my child to pay--for ANYTHING.

"that's the balance?" What are you talking about? The balance being requested isn't that we go from photoshopping faces onto holocaust victims all the way over to, as you call it, "woke-land." There is a ****huge**** amount of daylight between these incidents and "woke-land," as you so pejoratively call it.

Call me "woke," but I don't think it's "the price to pay" to have diverse children photoshopped onto corpses from the holocaust. I do not think it's the "price to pay" to have a diverse child surrounded while having "build that wall!" being chanted around him. I do not think it's the "price to pay" to have a diverse child being pressured, day in and day out, to kill himself. Besides, who is charging the price? That would be the schools, at about 50k. For 50k, I think I'll go somewhere where my kid and his diverse classmates and teachers are not the objects of vicious, racist, anti-semitic genocide jokes. But I guess that's just "my balance."

Then it's simple, take your kids out of the school and put them somewhere where you, I mean, they, are more comfortable. That's completely reasonable. But just know that doing that won't change the world your kid has to live in today or tomorrow. Further, one day your kid will have to confront those issues regardless. But making a youngster have to work that all out isn't something I relish and I get why parents wouldn't want to pay and deal with that kind of BS.

I won't respond to the absurdity of your transference of the actions of expelled kids (photoshop) to what I said about being resilient in a world that won't be fair, which is completely reasonable mind you, but that did give me a little chuckle. Maybe I'm wrong, but this "diverse child" language makes me think that you and I haven't grown up the same way. So again, maybe we see the world differently. And it's different strokes for different folks. I'm black. My family is proud of our African American heritage. Like it or not, struggle and success in the face of a black experience that has been far less than fair is a part of our identity. That's not going to change, your woke-ness notwithstanding. But keep fighting the good fight. Your idealism may help my kids one day, so I thank you in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but everyone needs to stop scapegoating these issues on the Chevy Chase Club. There are members at STA just like there are at many other schools in our area. The vast majority of STA parents are not members and there are tons of uber wealthy parents at STA who are not members. There may be Chevy members you don’t care for or agree with politically, but there are also very nice families who you would like and agree with. To blame all of STA’s issues on a handful of club members is ludicrous and absurd. STA’s issues run much deeper and are the result of an entrenched culture of elitism, privilege, and competition they foster with their messaging. It is also the result of admissions and who they prioritize. Sure they have been working on prioritizing diversity, but they also prioritize wealth, ability to donate big $, and connected families. These two priorities have eliminated the middle ground population and created a dichotomy of have and have not. Then you throw in the constant message that your the best of the best and it creates the culture we are seeing. There is an underlying level of competition, especially among the parents. Whose child is truly the smartest, the best student, the best athlete, the most talented, the most popular, etc. The pressure is real for a lot of these kids and they’re pushed by their parents to perform. We pay $50k a year for you to be at this top school that we got you into and you need to succeed and achieve. The reality that no one wants you to know is that the majority of these boys are no more gifted intellectually or academically than the majority of boys at other schools in our area. Boys at STA are equal to boys at Prep, Landon, Maret, Sidwell, GDS, St. Anselms, etc. They are normal boys, some are brilliant and super talented and others are normal above average to average kids. It’s the same at most highly competitive schools in our area. The difference is this culture described above of constantly being told they are the best of the best and better than everyone else, the great divide in social economics (no middle ground/have and have nots), the constant stress to achieve, and the competition especially among parents which translates to kids. It’s a pressure cooker academically, socially, financially, athletically, etc. And guess what, it’s boiling over.

How have the other top privates in DC managed to not be bipolar like this? NCS, GDS, and Sidwell are all much more friendly to professional class, non-connected families. We applied out of DCPS and each of these schools took kids from our school. STA did not. And the boys who applied were fantastic--straight As, great athletes, etc. I know a handful of the boys that STA did take
and they were more of the same: connected, wealthy and from a certain social set and a few feeder privates. They were no more qualified than any of the boys I know who did not get in, in fact many were less so. They were just wealthier and more connected.
Will they (STA) ever stop this practice? The new head of school could be then nicest guy on the planet and have the best of intentions but until this practice is changed it will be more of the same and it will continue to boil over. The other top DC schools have a different value system and have no problem admitting the kids of the "middle ground" population. Why is STA so different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but everyone needs to stop scapegoating these issues on the Chevy Chase Club. There are members at STA just like there are at many other schools in our area. The vast majority of STA parents are not members and there are tons of uber wealthy parents at STA who are not members. There may be Chevy members you don’t care for or agree with politically, but there are also very nice families who you would like and agree with. To blame all of STA’s issues on a handful of club members is ludicrous and absurd. STA’s issues run much deeper and are the result of an entrenched culture of elitism, privilege, and competition they foster with their messaging. It is also the result of admissions and who they prioritize. Sure they have been working on prioritizing diversity, but they also prioritize wealth, ability to donate big $, and connected families. These two priorities have eliminated the middle ground population and created a dichotomy of have and have not. Then you throw in the constant message that your the best of the best and it creates the culture we are seeing. There is an underlying level of competition, especially among the parents. Whose child is truly the smartest, the best student, the best athlete, the most talented, the most popular, etc. The pressure is real for a lot of these kids and they’re pushed by their parents to perform. We pay $50k a year for you to be at this top school that we got you into and you need to succeed and achieve. The reality that no one wants you to know is that the majority of these boys are no more gifted intellectually or academically than the majority of boys at other schools in our area. Boys at STA are equal to boys at Prep, Landon, Maret, Sidwell, GDS, St. Anselms, etc. They are normal boys, some are brilliant and super talented and others are normal above average to average kids. It’s the same at most highly competitive schools in our area. The difference is this culture described above of constantly being told they are the best of the best and better than everyone else, the great divide in social economics (no middle ground/have and have nots), the constant stress to achieve, and the competition especially among parents which translates to kids. It’s a pressure cooker academically, socially, financially, athletically, etc. And guess what, it’s boiling over.

How have the other top privates in DC managed to not be bipolar like this? NCS, GDS, and Sidwell are all much more friendly to professional class, non-connected families. We applied out of DCPS and each of these schools took kids from our school. STA did not. And the boys who applied were fantastic--straight As, great athletes, etc. I know a handful of the boys that STA did take
and they were more of the same: connected, wealthy and from a certain social set and a few feeder privates. They were no more qualified than any of the boys I know who did not get in, in fact many were less so. They were just wealthier and more connected.
Will they (STA) ever stop this practice? The new head of school could be then nicest guy on the planet and have the best of intentions but until this practice is changed it will be more of the same and it will continue to boil over. The other top DC schools have a different value system and have no problem admitting the kids of the "middle ground" population. Why is STA so different?

This is an interesting question. I used to think I wanted my boys to go to STA but the longer I’m exposed to all of this in the DC independent school world, the happier I am that they are elsewhere.

I’ve rad through a lot of this thread and one thing keeps popping up that I do not see at the peer school my kids attend: the constant telling/ reinforcing to the students, through what appears to be both spoken words and related actions, that you are so fabulous. This “you’re the best of the best” mindset, explicitly told to the kids. Wow. As a parent I would not like that at all. I’m trying to build character in my children and that includes a sense of humility and gratefulness. If this is the true ethos of STA, all I can say is that we dodged a billet.

[Anonymous]

^ read and bullet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi everyone. Our mixed-race DC is looking at schools for next year (through virtual open houses and zoom discussions with administrators).

One of those schools is NCS/STA (I'd rather not do anything to reveal who our family is).

We have read with deep shock the @blackatsta, @blackatncs, @asianatsta and other accounts in the DC schools. They are horrifying--racist comments by students and teachers, race-based bullying, race-based exclusion, extreme bullying (telling kids to kill themselves, relentlessly), etc. Worst of all--kids of color who just seem deeply and unfairly unhappy. The schools have of course acknowledged these accounts and have issued statements and outlined their plans to do to address these issues. So we have the "official" line from the schools.

What we'd really like to ask and have answers to though are not things we feel like we can get from the schools and those "official" statements and plans. We know that this forum is imperfect, too, and we're doing our best to find families that attend there. We only know a couple, as we've only lived here a couple of years. So we hope that some here are willing to engage.

How deep and ingrained are these issues of racism? Is there even a chance that these issues will be meaningfully addressed by new administrators? Or are these deep problems that would take decades to root out? Deep problems that will potentially be perpetuated by sets of moneyed groups with long ties to the school who not only aren't really committed to change, but who are also part of the problem (this last question comes from something one of the few families we know there said about a subset of very wealthy legacies at this school who have no commitment to change, and often are part of the problem)?

Again, we've heard the speeches. We've read the plans. Our DC has expressed a desire for single-sex, and DC is a competitive applicant (please, this is not an invitation to tell us to "get in first." You can't get answers about these sorts of things in the very short time you get to decide post-admission, and as parents of a child of color, we owe DC as much due diligence as we can--which is made even harder by the pandemic).

We would deeply appreciate the perspective of anyone from these schools who is willing to talk about what's REALLY going on there on these issues.

Just go to GdS, you can talk about it all day every day. On zoom of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but everyone needs to stop scapegoating these issues on the Chevy Chase Club. There are members at STA just like there are at many other schools in our area. The vast majority of STA parents are not members and there are tons of uber wealthy parents at STA who are not members. There may be Chevy members you don’t care for or agree with politically, but there are also very nice families who you would like and agree with. To blame all of STA’s issues on a handful of club members is ludicrous and absurd. STA’s issues run much deeper and are the result of an entrenched culture of elitism, privilege, and competition they foster with their messaging. It is also the result of admissions and who they prioritize. Sure they have been working on prioritizing diversity, but they also prioritize wealth, ability to donate big $, and connected families. These two priorities have eliminated the middle ground population and created a dichotomy of have and have not. Then you throw in the constant message that your the best of the best and it creates the culture we are seeing. There is an underlying level of competition, especially among the parents. Whose child is truly the smartest, the best student, the best athlete, the most talented, the most popular, etc. The pressure is real for a lot of these kids and they’re pushed by their parents to perform. We pay $50k a year for you to be at this top school that we got you into and you need to succeed and achieve. The reality that no one wants you to know is that the majority of these boys are no more gifted intellectually or academically than the majority of boys at other schools in our area. Boys at STA are equal to boys at Prep, Landon, Maret, Sidwell, GDS, St. Anselms, etc. They are normal boys, some are brilliant and super talented and others are normal above average to average kids. It’s the same at most highly competitive schools in our area. The difference is this culture described above of constantly being told they are the best of the best and better than everyone else, the great divide in social economics (no middle ground/have and have nots), the constant stress to achieve, and the competition especially among parents which translates to kids. It’s a pressure cooker academically, socially, financially, athletically, etc. And guess what, it’s boiling over.

Is it worse than at other pressure cooker schools in the area? Obviously the pressure about college boiled over at sidwell a year or so ago. Is sta even worse? I don't include prep or Landon because they aren't really pressure cookers. Maret not so much either, except maybe socially. But is STA in its own league as a pressure cooker? I had always heard that sta, sidwell, and even mores, TJ, were the pressure cookers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but everyone needs to stop scapegoating these issues on the Chevy Chase Club. There are members at STA just like there are at many other schools in our area. The vast majority of STA parents are not members and there are tons of uber wealthy parents at STA who are not members. There may be Chevy members you don’t care for or agree with politically, but there are also very nice families who you would like and agree with. To blame all of STA’s issues on a handful of club members is ludicrous and absurd. STA’s issues run much deeper and are the result of an entrenched culture of elitism, privilege, and competition they foster with their messaging. It is also the result of admissions and who they prioritize. Sure they have been working on prioritizing diversity, but they also prioritize wealth, ability to donate big $, and connected families. These two priorities have eliminated the middle ground population and created a dichotomy of have and have not. Then you throw in the constant message that your the best of the best and it creates the culture we are seeing. There is an underlying level of competition, especially among the parents. Whose child is truly the smartest, the best student, the best athlete, the most talented, the most popular, etc. The pressure is real for a lot of these kids and they’re pushed by their parents to perform. We pay $50k a year for you to be at this top school that we got you into and you need to succeed and achieve. The reality that no one wants you to know is that the majority of these boys are no more gifted intellectually or academically than the majority of boys at other schools in our area. Boys at STA are equal to boys at Prep, Landon, Maret, Sidwell, GDS, St. Anselms, etc. They are normal boys, some are brilliant and super talented and others are normal above average to average kids. It’s the same at most highly competitive schools in our area. The difference is this culture described above of constantly being told they are the best of the best and better than everyone else, the great divide in social economics (no middle ground/have and have nots), the constant stress to achieve, and the competition especially among parents which translates to kids. It’s a pressure cooker academically, socially, financially, athletically, etc. And guess what, it’s boiling over.

How have the other top privates in DC managed to not be bipolar like this? NCS, GDS, and Sidwell are all much more friendly to professional class, non-connected families. We applied out of DCPS and each of these schools took kids from our school. STA did not. And the boys who applied were fantastic--straight As, great athletes, etc. I know a handful of the boys that STA did take
and they were more of the same: connected, wealthy and from a certain social set and a few feeder privates. They were no more qualified than any of the boys I know who did not get in, in fact many were less so. They were just wealthier and more connected.
Will they (STA) ever stop this practice? The new head of school could be then nicest guy on the planet and have the best of intentions but until this practice is changed it will be more of the same and it will continue to boil over. The other top DC schools have a different value system and have no problem admitting the kids of the "middle ground" population. Why is STA so different?

This is the million dollar question, and I can't tell you how many families looking at all of these schools are asking it. sta needs to get its act together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but everyone needs to stop scapegoating these issues on the Chevy Chase Club. There are members at STA just like there are at many other schools in our area. The vast majority of STA parents are not members and there are tons of uber wealthy parents at STA who are not members. There may be Chevy members you don’t care for or agree with politically, but there are also very nice families who you would like and agree with. To blame all of STA’s issues on a handful of club members is ludicrous and absurd. STA’s issues run much deeper and are the result of an entrenched culture of elitism, privilege, and competition they foster with their messaging. It is also the result of admissions and who they prioritize. Sure they have been working on prioritizing diversity, but they also prioritize wealth, ability to donate big $, and connected families. These two priorities have eliminated the middle ground population and created a dichotomy of have and have not. Then you throw in the constant message that your the best of the best and it creates the culture we are seeing. There is an underlying level of competition, especially among the parents. Whose child is truly the smartest, the best student, the best athlete, the most talented, the most popular, etc. The pressure is real for a lot of these kids and they’re pushed by their parents to perform. We pay $50k a year for you to be at this top school that we got you into and you need to succeed and achieve. The reality that no one wants you to know is that the majority of these boys are no more gifted intellectually or academically than the majority of boys at other schools in our area. Boys at STA are equal to boys at Prep, Landon, Maret, Sidwell, GDS, St. Anselms, etc. They are normal boys, some are brilliant and super talented and others are normal above average to average kids. It’s the same at most highly competitive schools in our area. The difference is this culture described above of constantly being told they are the best of the best and better than everyone else, the great divide in social economics (no middle ground/have and have nots), the constant stress to achieve, and the competition especially among parents which translates to kids. It’s a pressure cooker academically, socially, financially, athletically, etc. And guess what, it’s boiling over.

No one is scapegoating the CCC, but your interpretation of this thread as doing so is revealing. Of course not all of the jerks in dc belong to the ccc, but many people who belong to the ccc are jerks. Not all trump supporters scream "build that wall" around minority students, but all the students who did so are, to our knowledge, trump supporters. Neither ccc nor trump supporters are fully explanatory of the issues that are going on, but they're not uninvolved. So I guess in a way we agree--this is way bigger than (but not exclusive of) the ccc and trump supporters.

p.s. I'm a republican. that's different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but everyone needs to stop scapegoating these issues on the Chevy Chase Club. There are members at STA just like there are at many other schools in our area. The vast majority of STA parents are not members and there are tons of uber wealthy parents at STA who are not members. There may be Chevy members you don’t care for or agree with politically, but there are also very nice families who you would like and agree with. To blame all of STA’s issues on a handful of club members is ludicrous and absurd. STA’s issues run much deeper and are the result of an entrenched culture of elitism, privilege, and competition they foster with their messaging. It is also the result of admissions and who they prioritize. Sure they have been working on prioritizing diversity, but they also prioritize wealth, ability to donate big $, and connected families. These two priorities have eliminated the middle ground population and created a dichotomy of have and have not. Then you throw in the constant message that your the best of the best and it creates the culture we are seeing. There is an underlying level of competition, especially among the parents. Whose child is truly the smartest, the best student, the best athlete, the most talented, the most popular, etc. The pressure is real for a lot of these kids and they’re pushed by their parents to perform. We pay $50k a year for you to be at this top school that we got you into and you need to succeed and achieve. The reality that no one wants you to know is that the majority of these boys are no more gifted intellectually or academically than the majority of boys at other schools in our area. Boys at STA are equal to boys at Prep, Landon, Maret, Sidwell, GDS, St. Anselms, etc. They are normal boys, some are brilliant and super talented and others are normal above average to average kids. It’s the same at most highly competitive schools in our area. The difference is this culture described above of constantly being told they are the best of the best and better than everyone else, the great divide in social economics (no middle ground/have and have nots), the constant stress to achieve, and the competition especially among parents which translates to kids. It’s a pressure cooker academically, socially, financially, athletically, etc. And guess what, it’s boiling over.

No one is scapegoating the CCC, but your interpretation of this thread as doing so is revealing. Of course not all of the jerks in dc belong to the ccc, but many people who belong to the ccc are jerks. Not all trump supporters scream "build that wall" around minority students, but all the students who did so are, to our knowledge, trump supporters. Neither ccc nor trump supporters are fully explanatory of the issues that are going on, but they're not uninvolved. So I guess in a way we agree--this is way bigger than (but not exclusive of) the ccc and trump supporters.

p.s. I'm a republican. that's different.

The problems are MUCH bigger and deeper. It’s easy to try to blame CCC and Trump supporters, but this is not accurate. Trump has been in power for 4 years and these issues have been around for decades. And some democratic boys and families have been the perpetrators of some of these incidents and issues, so making this political and blaming the right is not factual or fair. Again, it’s much deeper. It’s a cultural thing within the school that has been around for decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but everyone needs to stop scapegoating these issues on the Chevy Chase Club. There are members at STA just like there are at many other schools in our area. The vast majority of STA parents are not members and there are tons of uber wealthy parents at STA who are not members. There may be Chevy members you don’t care for or agree with politically, but there are also very nice families who you would like and agree with. To blame all of STA’s issues on a handful of club members is ludicrous and absurd. STA’s issues run much deeper and are the result of an entrenched culture of elitism, privilege, and competition they foster with their messaging. It is also the result of admissions and who they prioritize. Sure they have been working on prioritizing diversity, but they also prioritize wealth, ability to donate big $, and connected families. These two priorities have eliminated the middle ground population and created a dichotomy of have and have not. Then you throw in the constant message that your the best of the best and it creates the culture we are seeing. There is an underlying level of competition, especially among the parents. Whose child is truly the smartest, the best student, the best athlete, the most talented, the most popular, etc. The pressure is real for a lot of these kids and they’re pushed by their parents to perform. We pay $50k a year for you to be at this top school that we got you into and you need to succeed and achieve. The reality that no one wants you to know is that the majority of these boys are no more gifted intellectually or academically than the majority of boys at other schools in our area. Boys at STA are equal to boys at Prep, Landon, Maret, Sidwell, GDS, St. Anselms, etc. They are normal boys, some are brilliant and super talented and others are normal above average to average kids. It’s the same at most highly competitive schools in our area. The difference is this culture described above of constantly being told they are the best of the best and better than everyone else, the great divide in social economics (no middle ground/have and have nots), the constant stress to achieve, and the competition especially among parents which translates to kids. It’s a pressure cooker academically, socially, financially, athletically, etc. And guess what, it’s boiling over.

No one is scapegoating the CCC, but your interpretation of this thread as doing so is revealing. Of course not all of the jerks in dc belong to the ccc, but many people who belong to the ccc are jerks. Not all trump supporters scream "build that wall" around minority students, but all the students who did so are, to our knowledge, trump supporters. Neither ccc nor trump supporters are fully explanatory of the issues that are going on, but they're not uninvolved. So I guess in a way we agree--this is way bigger than (but not exclusive of) the ccc and trump supporters.

p.s. I'm a republican. that's different.

The problems are MUCH bigger and deeper. It’s easy to try to blame CCC and Trump supporters, but this is not accurate. Trump has been in power for 4 years and these issues have been around for decades. And some democratic boys and families have been the perpetrators of some of these incidents and issues, so making this political and blaming the right is not factual or fair. Again, it’s much deeper. It’s a cultural thing within the school that has been around for decades.

Democratic boys and Republican girls. Is this a new Pet Shop Boys song?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but everyone needs to stop scapegoating these issues on the Chevy Chase Club. There are members at STA just like there are at many other schools in our area. The vast majority of STA parents are not members and there are tons of uber wealthy parents at STA who are not members. There may be Chevy members you don’t care for or agree with politically, but there are also very nice families who you would like and agree with. To blame all of STA’s issues on a handful of club members is ludicrous and absurd. STA’s issues run much deeper and are the result of an entrenched culture of elitism, privilege, and competition they foster with their messaging. It is also the result of admissions and who they prioritize. Sure they have been working on prioritizing diversity, but they also prioritize wealth, ability to donate big $, and connected families. These two priorities have eliminated the middle ground population and created a dichotomy of have and have not. Then you throw in the constant message that your the best of the best and it creates the culture we are seeing. There is an underlying level of competition, especially among the parents. Whose child is truly the smartest, the best student, the best athlete, the most talented, the most popular, etc. The pressure is real for a lot of these kids and they’re pushed by their parents to perform. We pay $50k a year for you to be at this top school that we got you into and you need to succeed and achieve. The reality that no one wants you to know is that the majority of these boys are no more gifted intellectually or academically than the majority of boys at other schools in our area. Boys at STA are equal to boys at Prep, Landon, Maret, Sidwell, GDS, St. Anselms, etc. They are normal boys, some are brilliant and super talented and others are normal above average to average kids. It’s the same at most highly competitive schools in our area. The difference is this culture described above of constantly being told they are the best of the best and better than everyone else, the great divide in social economics (no middle ground/have and have nots), the constant stress to achieve, and the competition especially among parents which translates to kids. It’s a pressure cooker academically, socially, financially, athletically, etc. And guess what, it’s boiling over.

How have the other top privates in DC managed to not be bipolar like this? NCS, GDS, and Sidwell are all much more friendly to professional class, non-connected families. We applied out of DCPS and each of these schools took kids from our school. STA did not. And the boys who applied were fantastic--straight As, great athletes, etc. I know a handful of the boys that STA did take
and they were more of the same: connected, wealthy and from a certain social set and a few feeder privates. They were no more qualified than any of the boys I know who did not get in, in fact many were less so. They were just wealthier and more connected.
Will they (STA) ever stop this practice? The new head of school could be then nicest guy on the planet and have the best of intentions but until this practice is changed it will be more of the same and it will continue to boil over. The other top DC schools have a different value system and have no problem admitting the kids of the "middle ground" population. Why is STA so different?

This is an interesting question. I used to think I wanted my boys to go to STA but the longer I’m exposed to all of this in the DC independent school world, the happier I am that they are elsewhere.

I’ve rad through a lot of this thread and one thing keeps popping up that I do not see at the peer school my kids attend: the constant telling/ reinforcing to the students, through what appears to be both spoken words and related actions, that you are so fabulous. This “you’re the best of the best” mindset, explicitly told to the kids. Wow. As a parent I would not like that at all. I’m trying to build character in my children and that includes a sense of humility and gratefulness. If this is the true ethos of STA, all I can say is that we dodged a billet.

An anonymous Internet messageboard is altering your decisions on your kids' future.

Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this toxic lot help float the costs of the school and future giving? Also assume some are legacy families, hard to say no to when they give the school some continuity including financially. Just curious who you would replace them with once they are secretly banned.

They might that they do. You’re clearly one of them. You think you’re the only ones in town with money. Ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Many of this subset aren’t even rich or even that wealthy. Their grandparents might have been. No one is falling for this. You can look at the major donors at the cathedral, and no, the toxic little subset is not “floating” the school. You’re hilarious and delusional.

I am not one of them nor do I belong to CCC. I think of clubs (and exclusive little schools like St.A) along the lines of WC Fields. However, I think it is hideous and probably very illegal to blacklist a group of people based on one shared characteristic? second if I were one of those people. after all this bashing, I'd probably dial back my annual giving even if it were not floating the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this toxic lot help float the costs of the school and future giving? Also assume some are legacy families, hard to say no to when they give the school some continuity including financially. Just curious who you would replace them with once they are secretly banned.

They might that they do. You’re clearly one of them. You think you’re the only ones in town with money. Ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Many of this subset aren’t even rich or even that wealthy. Their grandparents might have been. No one is falling for this. You can look at the major donors at the cathedral, and no, the toxic little subset is not “floating” the school. You’re hilarious and delusional.

I am not one of them nor do I belong to CCC. I think of clubs (and exclusive little schools like St.A) along the lines of WC Fields. However, I think it is hideous and probably very illegal to blacklist a group of people based on one shared characteristic? second if I were one of those people. after all this bashing, I'd probably dial back my annual giving even if it were not floating the school.

NP. This crowd is at Landon and Holton too. It’s more a social group issue than a school issue.