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Hi everyone. Our mixed-race DC is looking at schools for next year (through virtual open houses and zoom discussions with administrators).
One of those schools is NCS/STA (I'd rather not do anything to reveal who our family is). We have read with deep shock the @blackatsta, @blackatncs, @asianatsta and other accounts in the DC schools. They are horrifying--racist comments by students and teachers, race-based bullying, race-based exclusion, extreme bullying (telling kids to kill themselves, relentlessly), etc. Worst of all--kids of color who just seem deeply and unfairly unhappy. The schools have of course acknowledged these accounts and have issued statements and outlined their plans to do to address these issues. So we have the "official" line from the schools. What we'd really like to ask and have answers to though are not things we feel like we can get from the schools and those "official" statements and plans. We know that this forum is imperfect, too, and we're doing our best to find families that attend there. We only know a couple, as we've only lived here a couple of years. So we hope that some here are willing to engage. How deep and ingrained are these issues of racism? Is there even a chance that these issues will be meaningfully addressed by new administrators? Or are these deep problems that would take decades to root out? Deep problems that will potentially be perpetuated by sets of moneyed groups with long ties to the school who not only aren't really committed to change, but who are also part of the problem (this last question comes from something one of the few families we know there said about a subset of very wealthy legacies at this school who have no commitment to change, and often are part of the problem)? Again, we've heard the speeches. We've read the plans. Our DC has expressed a desire for single-sex, and DC is a competitive applicant (please, this is not an invitation to tell us to "get in first." You can't get answers about these sorts of things in the very short time you get to decide post-admission, and as parents of a child of color, we owe DC as much due diligence as we can--which is made even harder by the pandemic). We would deeply appreciate the perspective of anyone from these schools who is willing to talk about what's REALLY going on there on these issues. |
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Take Instagram accounts for what they are - social media accounts that probably have a kernel of truth and lots of exaggeration
In all white environments, what usually happens is the kids simply view your child as "white". Your child acts the same, says the same, wears the same, same type of parents, same type of house, same type of goals, and so on. So the kids just seem them as an extension of their white self with darker skin. So when a kid does something that is contrary to the white kids thinking, it jars them and throws them off and makes them have to think White kids are very likely not inherently trying to be racist but rather failing to realize that their "I don't see color" kind of attitude isn't good. |
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Relax, OP. Racism is everywhere, and the schools you mention are not worse than any of the others. I believe the worse are diverse public schools in low-to-average-income neighborhoods. Want to know why? Because racism comes from parents. Parents who have kept to their own communities, because of low education and no need for any sort of perception check, will reflexively express the racial or religious stereotypes they have learned from their own parents. Kids go to school and repeat them when they see other kids who don't look like them, and the cycle starts again. No one holds back. And the school administrations do nothing because they are dealing with teen dropouts, families in crisis, and gang-related violence. Racist or religious bullying, by comparison, is not a priority. Racism is alive and well in the more tony, culturally-exposed circles, be they in public or private schools, but at least it's tempered by a measure of self-reflection and a desire for political correctness. Deep down inside, they might not want your kid to marry their kid, but they'll fight tooth and nail for increased financial aid on the school board and will crack down on visible signs of racism. See what I mean? |
NP: That is decidedly non-comforting. Stay in your place; be a token; smile for the brochure. Don’t expect us to really welcome you though. See what I mean? |
Have you actually read these? Across many schools, most seem very authentic and brave, and many accounts vet the stories. Many of the stories are personal accounts of things that were public and definitely true. Saying they’re exaggerated, especially without proof, is just a way of not trying to listen. There are too many stories too. These aren’t one-offs. More than that, your view that the problem is color blindness suggests you haven’t read all these accounts, or that you aren’t really hearing the themes that get repeated over and over. |
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Who is cross shopping NCS with publics in low to average income neighborhoods? |
+1 |
| I am an immigrant minority. If you lived in another country, you will know that this country, while far from perfect, is far better than almost all other countries in terms of race issues. Some countries essentially do not accept immigrants, especially blacks, and in some other countries, explicit and public discriminations are everywhere. Some ethnics are even being persecuted. |
| Dp: so no one is going to address this? |
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This is what the diversity director who quit mid-year had to say about why she left. Maybe this might help?
https://www.thewellscollective.com/post/forblackwomen |
Wow, your blase attitude is truly horrifying, and for OP's sake I do hope you don't have a child who attends any of the Cathedral schools because you are definitely part of the problem, and your poor apples will probably not fall from the tree. OP, I would ask admissions for a list of families of color that you can talk to about their experience. Though they will be families with good relationships with the school, I think most of us POC at this point in time will be fairly honest. Depending upon your DC's age, you could also bring up your reservations and see how they feel and how they would feel if they ended up experiencing micro- or macroaggressions in school. To be honest, it is unfortunately inevitable as the many Black@ Instagram accounts from every DC private school indicate, but there are schools where there has been a lot of shame and consequent self-reflection and hopefully change. I would be openminded throughout the application process, but also know that if your DC is unhappy, they can always leave the school. |
Did you quit NCS, or is she joining it? |
Sorry: did she quit NCS, or is she joining it? |
She quit. And STA is FAR more conservative. People, the proof is in the pudding at these institutions. They have next to no black faculty. And there are scores of highly educated black educators in the DC area. My younger kids are in middle school in DCPS and 50% of their teachers are black with degrees from amazing schools. If STA/NCS can't hire black faculty there's a reason. And it's not salary--new teachers at DCPS are not making more than their counterparts at STA/NCS. |