Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

I think the person you’re quoting meant the girl will feel dumb if she’s held back and there are kids with her same bday a grade ahead

Exactly. She turns 15 on the same day as a girl in the grade above her. Not a good look.

Yeah, I still remember which kids were a year older than the rest of us in our grade. There was one guy who came from another country and so it was understandable, but everyone knew that the rest of them just weren't all that bright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

I think the person you’re quoting meant the girl will feel dumb if she’s held back and there are kids with her same bday a grade ahead

Exactly. She turns 15 on the same day as a girl in the grade above her. Not a good look.

But there would be kids born just a couple weeks after her in the same grade, most likely in addition to other redshirt kids

I personally think it matters whether the kid was held back rather than missed the cut off - in their internal understanding of their age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

I think the person you’re quoting meant the girl will feel dumb if she’s held back and there are kids with her same bday a grade ahead

Exactly. She turns 15 on the same day as a girl in the grade above her. Not a good look.

Yeah, I still remember which kids were a year older than the rest of us in our grade. There was one guy who came from another country and so it was understandable, but everyone knew that the rest of them just weren't all that bright.

I think that says a lot more about you than it does them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

I think the person you’re quoting meant the girl will feel dumb if she’s held back and there are kids with her same bday a grade ahead

Exactly. She turns 15 on the same day as a girl in the grade above her. Not a good look.

Yeah, I still remember which kids were a year older than the rest of us in our grade. There was one guy who came from another country and so it was understandable, but everyone knew that the rest of them just weren't all that bright.

I think that says a lot more about you than it does them.

Yeah, yeah.

So why don't you just send your kid to school on time, if you don't care what people are saying and thinking about you and your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

I think the person you’re quoting meant the girl will feel dumb if she’s held back and there are kids with her same bday a grade ahead

PP. Ah yes, I see that now; read too fast--so much for my high scores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

I think the person you’re quoting meant the girl will feel dumb if she’s held back and there are kids with her same bday a grade ahead

Exactly. She turns 15 on the same day as a girl in the grade above her. Not a good look.

But there would be kids born just a couple weeks after her in the same grade, most likely in addition to other redshirt kids

I personally think it matters whether the kid was held back rather than missed the cut off - in their internal understanding of their age.

+1

Kids used to just ask other kids, "why are you older than us?"

These days I guess they figure it out for themselves. Or they're told by their parents. Most parents will make sure their kids know that they're competing against kids a year or more older (if that's the case).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads, I really wonder whether it's the kids who are not "ready" to start school or whether it's that the parents aren't ready to send the kids. Some of the examples given as reasons for redshirting are ridiculous - sports, camp, dealing with mean girls, worries about whether 10 years down the road she'll be able to handle high school boys. If you think being the youngest is going to be a challenge for your kid - so what? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Why not help your kid rise to the occasion by giving them skills to handle different kinds of environments?

And guess what? Your kids will be just fine even if they're the last ones in their friend group to get their driver's license, or they start high school at age 14, or they don't turn 18 until just before starting college.

DP. I sent my September birthday DS on time, as did several of my friends. Others held their August/September birthday DCs back a year.

All of the on-time kids struggled, including mine, for years. All of the held-back kids did not struggle, in K or 1st or 2nd.

You can laugh off kindergarten if you like. From firsthand experience, I now know that it's developmentally inappropriate.

It's developmentally inappropriate to send your kid to school on time??

The way they do kindergarten now, yes.

If that's the case, then why haven't they changed the cut off dates? If it's such a widespread problem, why isn't it addressed at a higher level within the school system?

Perhaps because it's NOT widespread and plenty of late summer/early fall kids do just fine, even if yours did not.

Actually, Kindergarten cutoff dates HAVE shifted back a LOT in the past few decades. For example, in 1990 the K cutoff date was 12/31 in MD, 10/31 in 2005, and now it's 9/1. (This is among many, many other examples of states moving their cutoff dates back to September in the past decade or two). It was 12/31 as late as 2010 in DC. Nebraska changed their cutoff date to 7/31 a few years ago, Arkansas signed their 8/1 cutoff date into law in 2011, and Indiana signed their 8/1 cutoff into law in March 2018.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

I think the person you’re quoting meant the girl will feel dumb if she’s held back and there are kids with her same bday a grade ahead

Exactly. She turns 15 on the same day as a girl in the grade above her. Not a good look.

Yeah, I still remember which kids were a year older than the rest of us in our grade. There was one guy who came from another country and so it was understandable, but everyone knew that the rest of them just weren't all that bright.

I think that says a lot more about you than it does them.

Yeah, yeah.

So why don't you just send your kid to school on time, if you don't care what people are saying and thinking about you and your kids.

My kids were born in December and January, so they went on time. There wasn't a debate.

I stand by what I said...an adult who still remembers the age hierarchy of kids in her class, years and years later, is very very strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

I think the person you’re quoting meant the girl will feel dumb if she’s held back and there are kids with her same bday a grade ahead

Exactly. She turns 15 on the same day as a girl in the grade above her. Not a good look.

Yeah, I still remember which kids were a year older than the rest of us in our grade. There was one guy who came from another country and so it was understandable, but everyone knew that the rest of them just weren't all that bright.

I think that says a lot more about you than it does them.

Yeah, yeah.

So why don't you just send your kid to school on time, if you don't care what people are saying and thinking about you and your kids.

My kids were born in December and January, so they went on time. There wasn't a debate.

I stand by what I said...an adult who still remembers the age hierarchy of kids in her class, years and years later, is very very strange.

Speaking as someone with a late Sept bday it’s not that weird to remember who was a full year older than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

“I didn’t redshirt, though.”

It’s so odd for anyone in general to be rabidly pro redshirting. One of my BFFs has a child who is the literal youngest in an insanely competitive school. And they didn’t opt for it. There are other ways to go about life.

People aren't rabidly pro-redshirting. What they are want, at most, is a proocess where there aren't rigid cutoffs and there is greater parental discretion. It's the anti-redshirts that are rabid on DCUM, all without any real evidence to back their positions.

I didn't redshirt. But I find the topic interesting, and follow the discussions, such as they are.

There are no rabid pro redshirters bc the red-shirting parents don’t want everyone to redshirt. Then they’d be in the same boat as if they didn’t redshirt their kid.

+1

Despite what they claim, this is all absolutely about having their child be one of the strongest (or at least not the weakest), relatively speaking. They cheat to try to ensure that there will always be kids below their own. It’s disgusting.

No one is "cheating" by sending an August birthday at age 6 instead of 5.
It's not our fault you don't understand rules or never learned how to comprehend the written word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

“I didn’t redshirt, though.”

It’s so odd for anyone in general to be rabidly pro redshirting. One of my BFFs has a child who is the literal youngest in an insanely competitive school. And they didn’t opt for it. There are other ways to go about life.

People aren't rabidly pro-redshirting. What they are want, at most, is a proocess where there aren't rigid cutoffs and there is greater parental discretion. It's the anti-redshirts that are rabid on DCUM, all without any real evidence to back their positions.

I didn't redshirt. But I find the topic interesting, and follow the discussions, such as they are.

There are no rabid pro redshirters bc the red-shirting parents don’t want everyone to redshirt. Then they’d be in the same boat as if they didn’t redshirt their kid.

+1

Despite what they claim, this is all absolutely about having their child be one of the strongest (or at least not the weakest), relatively speaking. They cheat to try to ensure that there will always be kids below their own. It’s disgusting.

No one is "cheating" by sending an August birthday at age 6 instead of 5.
It's not our fault you don't understand rules or never learned how to comprehend the written word.

In Virginia, the rule is that children must start school (1st grade) by 6. The rule wasn't designed to allow redshirting, it has just been used to do so.

Send your 5 year old to kindergarten. Send your 6 year old to 1st grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

“I didn’t redshirt, though.”

It’s so odd for anyone in general to be rabidly pro redshirting. One of my BFFs has a child who is the literal youngest in an insanely competitive school. And they didn’t opt for it. There are other ways to go about life.

People aren't rabidly pro-redshirting. What they are want, at most, is a proocess where there aren't rigid cutoffs and there is greater parental discretion. It's the anti-redshirts that are rabid on DCUM, all without any real evidence to back their positions.

I didn't redshirt. But I find the topic interesting, and follow the discussions, such as they are.

What you’ve written isn’t true, at least in this thread, about “anti-redshirters.” I don’t know how these threads have gone in earlier iterations. You’ve written what, a dozen posts shrieking about imagined hypocrisy. Strange.

It's true. You just don't like that fact, so would prefer to elide the truth. Multiple posters have talked about the hypocrisy of the anti-redshirters on DCUM.

What I see in these threads -- and I've read a lot of them, though don't usually participate -- is that the anti-redshirt posters tend to come across as highly irrational.

You’re asserting something as factual and it isn’t. The rudeness is coming from you and I don’t know why. The posts about hypocrisy are bananas and are at least written as if by one person who also keeps tripping to point out she didn’t redshirt. The posts about kids doing well despite being younger are good to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

I think the person you’re quoting meant the girl will feel dumb if she’s held back and there are kids with her same bday a grade ahead

Exactly. She turns 15 on the same day as a girl in the grade above her. Not a good look.

Yeah, I still remember which kids were a year older than the rest of us in our grade. There was one guy who came from another country and so it was understandable, but everyone knew that the rest of them just weren't all that bright.

I think that says a lot more about you than it does them.

+1

[Anonymous]

There's always going to be SOME cutoff date because our society has arbitrary rules like that. Everyone is eligible to drink at 21 despite significantly varying levels of maturity at that age. Everyone has to obey the same speed limits despite dramatically different levels of driving skill and reaction time. On and on.

So yes, in theory if cutoff date is 9/30 there are going to be a handful of kids in September or August who should ideally wait and go with following cohort because they are developmentally not ready. And vice-versa there's going to be some October and November kids who probably would have been best served to have enrolled a year earlier rather because they WERE developmentally ready, rather than waiting just because they missed some semi-arbitrary cutoff by a few weeks. But that's not how our society operates, by and large, we have one-size-fits-all rules and just deal with it.

No matter the cutoff date, there's always going to be kids on either side of the cusp... and the vast majority of those kids would be perfectly fine with EITHER cohort. So unless there's a strong, compelling reason to redshirt (or enroll early), it seems to me just stick with the program. FWIW, I've got a September 2yo DD and at this stage have seen no developmental shortcomings that would compel us to redshirt, so plan is to enroll on time but continue to monitor in case anything changes dramatically in her development (seems unlikely, but you never know).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

“I didn’t redshirt, though.”

It’s so odd for anyone in general to be rabidly pro redshirting. One of my BFFs has a child who is the literal youngest in an insanely competitive school. And they didn’t opt for it. There are other ways to go about life.

People aren't rabidly pro-redshirting. What they are want, at most, is a proocess where there aren't rigid cutoffs and there is greater parental discretion. It's the anti-redshirts that are rabid on DCUM, all without any real evidence to back their positions.

I didn't redshirt. But I find the topic interesting, and follow the discussions, such as they are.

What you’ve written isn’t true, at least in this thread, about “anti-redshirters.” I don’t know how these threads have gone in earlier iterations. You’ve written what, a dozen posts shrieking about imagined hypocrisy. Strange.

It's true. You just don't like that fact, so would prefer to elide the truth. Multiple posters have talked about the hypocrisy of the anti-redshirters on DCUM.

What I see in these threads -- and I've read a lot of them, though don't usually participate -- is that the anti-redshirt posters tend to come across as highly irrational.

You’re asserting something as factual and it isn’t. The rudeness is coming from you and I don’t know why. The posts about hypocrisy are bananas and are at least written as if by one person who also keeps tripping to point out she didn’t redshirt. The posts about kids doing well despite being younger are good to read.

We will have to agree to disagree.