Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this update. I remember this thread well. It sounds like she thought this through very responsibly and I wish her all the best. I remember thinking when I was her age some of the same things said in this thread, that it would ruin my life to have a baby, derail all my important plans, etc. I even remember kind of understanding when a college couple made the news by throwing away their newborn; after all, it was going to ruin their lives, right? With the benefit of much hindsight I can see that life is long, with many opportunities to start fresh.

OP here. Yep. She talked to her advisor at college and it looks like she’ll be able to return in the fall and graduate on time with her class. This isn’t what any parent plans for their child, but I think the plan we have sets her on a good path going forward.

Asking because my DD is 14, so we have not hit this phase of life yet. Not to be snarky. In fact, hugs to you and your DD. And I’m sure someone is about to say something snarky about Math being hard. But I don’t know your DD’s school calendar. Is she stopping soon because she is literally going to give birth before the end of the next grading period? Or because she is uncomfortable at school in her third trimester? I was wondering how tolerant college kids were about pregnant peers in 2018?

Also, did she tell the dad? How did he react?

Again, hugs and good thoughts to your family.

???? What do you think her peers are going to shun her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I would never let my child agree to adoption. He’ll to the no. If you go through wit, you keep it. Period.[/b],

How would you stop your over 18 year old child from putting her baby up for adoption?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't tell the father until next summer. Seriously, you don't need a custody battle during infancy and he can't provide child support yet and you don't want him to not complete college so he can provide support later.

What if the dad does not want the child? Does he have a say in this matter (abortion or not) or does DCUM think it's the girl's call?

DCUM has not seen any evidence that OP is a troll, and thinks this is not the right forum to have this food fight. Legally, abortion the girls call and the dad has rights if there is an adoption. If OP isn’t asking if her DD should tell the Father, leave her in peace. I’m sure this is hard enough on her as it is.

If you want a nasty food fight about mens rights and abortion and adoption, you can have it, beyond your wildest dream. Politics Forum is ————————>

Post the question and sit back and wait.

Dad knows and couldn’t care less what DD does.

-OP

Whoops, messed up that quote in a big way:

ou (your DD) need to get him to sign away his parental rights though. Have you talked to a lawyer? Because he could have a change of heart -- or his parents could decide that they want to raise their grandchild.

The legal risk here is very, very real. If you haven't done so, please consult with an adoption attorney (and I assume the adopting couple will have their own). You need to make sure the father won't turn around and decide to care at the last minute -- or, god forbid, when the adoptive couple has bonded with the baby and the biodad shows up.

OP here. Yes, this has been done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She will not abort. Right now she wants to do the fall semester and then reevaluate...I do worry about the idea she’ll take time off and then never go back...adoption is still on the table too though.

The father goes to a different school 1200 miles away (they met at an internship) and they were never together.

I got pregnant at 20. I love my 11 year old but there’s times where I wish I had aborted and settled years later. Your daughter doesn’t want to do this now.

What mother thinks this way? I can see wishing you hadn't gotten pregnant so young or thinking you should have put her up for adoption. But you really sometimes wish you had taken her life?

She's being honest. All the pretty stories in this thread make me mad. Single parenting is hard on everyone. The girls I knew didn't get married and didn't finish college. They suffered, along w their parents and the children. Don't do it.

I got pregnant at 20. Yes, it was hard. But I finished college, then grad school, then a second grad degree. DC is now 25 and thriving. I did marry someone else briefly and had a second child, but that marriage failed. I remarried a couple years ago and am very happy. That’s my pretty story. Sorry if it makes you mad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]I would never let my child agree to adoption. He’ll to the no. If you go through wit, you keep it. Period.[/b],

How would you stop your over 18 year old child from putting her baby up for adoption?

I would take legal guardianship. 2 options: abortion or motherhood. if DC wants adoption, I’ll adopt/take legal right. No way my grandchild would go to another family.

[Anonymous]

It would not be your decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would not be your decision.

What is with people thinking it’s NBD to giveaway your grandchild. If I could afford it (I can), my DC (guy or girl) would never agree to relinquish parental rights unless to me or a someone in my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would not be your decision.

What is with people thinking it’s NBD to giveaway your grandchild. If I could afford it (I can), my DC (guy or girl) would never agree to relinquish parental rights unless to me or a someone in my family.

Lol that’s ...uh...not how it works...

[Anonymous]

Nothing LOL about one agreeing to give away their own. That’s just wrong on so many levels. Unless you can’t feed, clothe, shelter, you should raise your own or abort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never let my child agree to adoption. He’ll to the no. If you go through wit, you keep it. Period.,

Good thing it won’t be your choice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]I would never let my child agree to adoption. He’ll to the no. If you go through wit, you keep it. Period.[/b],

How would you stop your over 18 year old child from putting her baby up for adoption?

I would take legal guardianship. 2 options: abortion or motherhood. if DC wants adoption, I’ll adopt/take legal right. No way my grandchild would go to another family.

Won’t be your choice. Thankfully you have no say in the matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She will not abort. Right now she wants to do the fall semester and then reevaluate...I do worry about the idea she’ll take time off and then never go back...adoption is still on the table too though.

The father goes to a different school 1200 miles away (they met at an internship) and they were never together.

She will rather have a child with someone who was "never together with" than abort? I don't understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]I would never let my child agree to adoption. He’ll to the no. If you go through wit, you keep it. Period.[/b],

How would you stop your over 18 year old child from putting her baby up for adoption?

I would take legal guardianship. 2 options: abortion or motherhood. if DC wants adoption, I’ll adopt/take legal right. No way my grandchild would go to another family.

... But fine for grandchild to be aborted? Or is it only your grandchild after delivery?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing LOL about one agreeing to give away their own. That’s just wrong on so many levels. Unless you can’t feed, clothe, shelter, you should raise your own or abort.

Nothing LOL about shredding their own, either. Much more loving to do what is best for "your own," and that begins with giving the child a birthday. To refuse this just because you don't want someone else to give her a good life is very dog-in-the-manger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this update. I remember this thread well. It sounds like she thought this through very responsibly and I wish her all the best. I remember thinking when I was her age some of the same things said in this thread, that it would ruin my life to have a baby, derail all my important plans, etc. I even remember kind of understanding when a college couple made the news by throwing away their newborn; after all, it was going to ruin their lives, right? With the benefit of much hindsight I can see that life is long, with many opportunities to start fresh.

OP here. Yep. She talked to her advisor at college and it looks like she’ll be able to return in the fall and graduate on time with her class. This isn’t what any parent plans for their child, but I think the plan we have sets her on a good path going forward.

Asking because my DD is 14, so we have not hit this phase of life yet. Not to be snarky. In fact, hugs to you and your DD. And I’m sure someone is about to say something snarky about Math being hard. But I don’t know your DD’s school calendar. Is she stopping soon because she is literally going to give birth before the end of the next grading period? Or because she is uncomfortable at school in her third trimester? I was wondering how tolerant college kids were about pregnant peers in 2018?

Also, did she tell the dad? How did he react?

Again, hugs and good thoughts to your family.

???? What do you think her peers are going to shun her?

Not Op, but my guess is that she's due before the end of the spring semester. She would never pass her classes if she had to take time off, give birth, recover from the birth and take care of a newborn (or possibly adjust to an adoption, whatever she decides to do).

I don't think her peers would shun her but no one is going to be asking her to parties or some of the other more active things that college kids do. And I doubt she would be up for late night socializing or co-ed flag football even if they did ask her.

She needs some time to adapt to her new normal.