Capital Cotillion for Beauvoir Son

[Anonymous]

Wow - that's pretty harsh. As it happens my son's Scout trips for the year are scheduled in August so it's before we get the Mrs Simpsons schedule (mercifully he goes to Mrs S and not to Capital Cotillion since this mandatory attendance policy sounds over the top for busy kids). And Scouts for him is a bigger priority than dance class. In fact he's got a lot of competing commitments and we often have to make judgments about what activities he can and can't do. Sometimes dance class falls by the wayside and sometimes other things fall by the wayside. So glad your teenage boy makes dance class a priority. What's your secret?

[Anonymous]

I agree with 06:01. Cotillion is not "dance class." This isn't an event for the benefit of your child, which he can take or leave depending on what other activities are available that day. You're supposed to honor the commitment you made to the group.

[Anonymous]

Agree, but we also need to honor commitments to Scouts (he's a leader so can't just not show up) and soccer and band and school (for example my daughter had to miss a dance class because she was in the middle of finals), etc. One hopes all these things aren't at the same time but sometimes they do conflict. And it has certainly gotten more challenging as kids have gotten older. Not so much going on in 4th grade. Lots going on in 8th and 9th grade. Sorry for the reference to dance class but that's what Mrs Simpson's is called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this just sounds so depressing. don't kids have enough stresses in their lives without having to go to formal dances and worry about whether they'll get picked to dance or not? how miserable. it's hard to imagine what could justify putting your kid through this.

Yes, I guess you're right. I guess this is just about the worst thing you could do to a kid. My stars. Thanks for waking me up, caring sensitive mom.

read more carefully. i didn't say it was the worst thing you could do to a kid; i said it seemed depressing and unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Look, responding as a father here, I GURANATEE that your son will be the subject of jokes and ridicule by his friends. Please please please dont do this to your boy. This is entirely unncessary and he does not need this kind of thing to deal with at school. I think it may be fine for girls but his male friends will, I guranatee, go to town on him. I know, because I and my friends did this to these kids all day long when I was at an independent school here (which will be unnamed). Why do you want to make your son th eoutcast/loser of his class? You know how there is always those couple of kids in every class that is somewhat "different" and "has no friends," always playing by himself? Well, that is the text book Cotillion or Mrs. Simpson's boy. All you moms out there, you need to speak with your husbands and brothers about this. Your son will become the butt of offensive and homophobic teasing. GUARANTEED! I saw it happen in my generation and that of my kids. Get a male perspective! Fast!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, responding as a father here, I GURANATEE that your son will be the subject of jokes and ridicule by his friends. Please please please dont do this to your boy. This is entirely unncessary and he does not need this kind of thing to deal with at school. I think it may be fine for girls but his male friends will, I guranatee, go to town on him. I know, because I and my friends did this to these kids all day long when I was at an independent school here (which will be unnamed). Why do you want to make your son th eoutcast/loser of his class? You know how there is always those couple of kids in every class that is somewhat "different" and "has no friends," always playing by himself? Well, that is the text book Cotillion or Mrs. Simpson's boy. All you moms out there, you need to speak with your husbands and brothers about this. Your son will become the butt of offensive and homophobic teasing. GUARANTEED! I saw it happen in my generation and that of my kids. Get a male perspective! Fast!!!!

Things change. My athletic, intelligent son attends a popular private school, and did a couple of years of Capital Cotillion during middle school. Not only were many of his classmates there (they often went out to dinner together first), but he knew a ton of the boys there (including half of his travel team) from soccer. It isn't a perfect experience, but neither is it a source of derision or rejection.

[Anonymous]

Same here - a good chunk of the boys from school go. Maybe not willingly but they go. Defintely not a stigma, and they are meeting lots of girls from other schools (good for kids going to small schools where the class has been together for years). But that being said the "dad" post reads like a 13 year old boy trying to get out of dance class, not an actual dad.

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm the mother of a middle schooler at private school, and my son flat-out refused to even consider the idea. Which is fine, because I think it's silly anyway. They are supposed to learn manners and deportment at home.

[Anonymous]

And God forbid they get any reinforcement in those areas outside the home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I'm the mother of a middle schooler at private school, and my son flat-out refused to even consider the idea. Which is fine, because I think it's silly anyway. They are supposed to learn manners and deportment at home.

Which is fine, and your/his decision. But if he tells you he won't go because only the rejects go, or that he will be labeled as a sissy, or that the athletic boys will tease him, don't believe him.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but this whole Cotillion thing just seems laughable to me - something climbers eagerly sign up for because they think it makes their family seem old-money and "classy." Like those parents I used to see at the playground who dressed their baby boys in monogrammed sailor suits and saddle shoes. I always felt embarrassed for them - trying way too hard.

[Anonymous]

In our area, the cotillion is for the in crowd of boys. Many (but not all) of them go to all-boy schools, and they welcome the chance to meet girls and renew friendships with girls they knew in elementary grades or preschool. They learn basic ballroom dance steps, eat tasty snacks, and are taught polite manners for formal occasions. I've never heard of anyone making fun of them for attending.

You can tell how highly the experience is valued, by the fact that poor 11:04 still carries a chip on his shoulder for not being invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our area, the cotillion is for the in crowd of boys. Many (but not all) of them go to all-boy schools, and they welcome the chance to meet girls and renew friendships with girls they knew in elementary grades or preschool. They learn basic ballroom dance steps, eat tasty snacks, and are taught polite manners for formal occasions. I've never heard of anyone making fun of them for attending.

You can tell how highly the experience is valued, by the fact that poor 11:04 still carries a chip on his shoulder for not being invited.

Nauseating.

[Anonymous]

My son goes to cotillion and he's way cool.

But cotillion didn't make him cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our area, the cotillion is for the in crowd of boys. Many (but not all) of them go to all-boy schools, and they welcome the chance to meet girls and renew friendships with girls they knew in elementary grades or preschool. They learn basic ballroom dance steps, eat tasty snacks, and are taught polite manners for formal occasions. I've never heard of anyone making fun of them for attending.

You can tell how highly the experience is valued, by the fact that poor 11:04 still carries a chip on his shoulder for not being invited.

I agree with the PP, what a sickening statement. "In our area, the cotillion is for the in crowd of boys??" WTH are you to make a statement like that, and who put you in charge of determining which "crowd" of boys is "in?" (And are you still reliving your 1960's era HS days?)

If you're a typical mother of a kid who attends this thing, we're out.