Capital Cotillion for Beauvoir Son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're a typical mother of a kid who attends this thing, we're out.

Indeed. One doubts you were ever in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a typical mother of a kid who attends this thing, we're out.

Indeed. One doubts you were ever in.

The sad, final refuge of DC's desperate graspers and climbers: "You're just bitter because you weren't invited/accepted/chosen."

Believe it or not, dear, many of us were invited and chose not to go. Why? To avoid exposing our children to people like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, responding as a father here, I GURANATEE that your son will be the subject of jokes and ridicule by his friends. Please please please dont do this to your boy. This is entirely unncessary and he does not need this kind of thing to deal with at school. I think it may be fine for girls but his male friends will, I guranatee, go to town on him. I know, because I and my friends did this to these kids all day long when I was at an independent school here (which will be unnamed). Why do you want to make your son th eoutcast/loser of his class? You know how there is always those couple of kids in every class that is somewhat "different" and "has no friends," always playing by himself? Well, that is the text book Cotillion or Mrs. Simpson's boy. All you moms out there, you need to speak with your husbands and brothers about this. Your son will become the butt of offensive and homophobic teasing. GUARANTEED! I saw it happen in my generation and that of my kids. Get a male perspective! Fast!!!!

There is a large St. Albans School contingent at Capitol Cotillion. Those boys, as far as I can tell, are all with the "in crowd." I think they go there because they like seeing their old Beauvoir girl classmates (although they will strongly deny it) and they like to interact with girls in general (which they will deny even more strongly), which, much as STA has to offer, interactions with girls is limited to spotting one at a distance on the Close.

[Anonymous]

Hello, this is the 11:04 father again. This discussion is fascinating. But, based upon all these references to an "in crowd" proves my point. I rest my case. Res Ipsa Loquiter. You honestly think boys want to go to some stuffy event so their pretentious mom can believe that they are part of some nineteenth century Daughters of the Confederacy tea party "in-crowd"? I guarantee you the answer is No. As with all other pre-teen boys and teen boys, there are funner and more interesting ways to socialize with the opposite sex than to go to a Cotillion. You have to be kidding me that this is something that boys want to do. To all you Moms who disagree- You are kidding yourselves. I implore you to talk to your brothers and husbands and ask them if they wanted to attend Mrs Simpson's. This is something you are shoving down their throats. Furthermore, ask them if they needed to attend a Cotillion to meet girls? and eat "tasty treats"? Honestly, if your son needs to attend a Cotillion to meet girls, that is one messed up boy! He doesnt need a Cotillion, he needs a therapist. A really good one! He also needs a more involved father figure/masculine role model. Having attended a cotillion is something he will forever hide in the dark corners of his closet when he is at his frat house in college or, for that matter, from his own sons. God help your sons!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello, this is the 11:04 father again. This discussion is fascinating. But, based upon all these references to an "in crowd" proves my point. I rest my case. Res Ipsa Loquiter. You honestly think boys want to go to some stuffy event so their pretentious mom can believe that they are part of some nineteenth century Daughters of the Confederacy tea party "in-crowd"? I guarantee you the answer is No. As with all other pre-teen boys and teen boys, there are funner and more interesting ways to socialize with the opposite sex than to go to a Cotillion. You have to be kidding me that this is something that boys want to do. To all you Moms who disagree- You are kidding yourselves. I implore you to talk to your brothers and husbands and ask them if they wanted to attend Mrs Simpson's. This is something you are shoving down their throats. Furthermore, ask them if they needed to attend a Cotillion to meet girls? and eat "tasty treats"? Honestly, if your son needs to attend a Cotillion to meet girls, that is one messed up boy! He doesnt need a Cotillion, he needs a therapist. A really good one! He also needs a more involved father figure/masculine role model. Having attended a cotillion is something he will forever hide in the dark corners of his closet when he is at his frat house in college or, for that matter, from his own sons. God help your sons!

I'm another Dad and I agree with this 100%. These classes are a joke. My son did one for a year - he learned how to do the foxtrot - seriously! Who the heck does the foxtrot anymore? It's a colossal waste of time and the boys HATE it.

[Anonymous]

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

Double ditto. And this is from a Mom with a son at a well-known boys' school.

[Anonymous]

I'll accept that some boys *hate* cotillion, if the dittoheads can accept that some boys *enjoy* cotillion. My son does.

And the question of whether it's worthwhile is separate, because long-term value can compensate for a shortage of immediate enthusiasm. Some boys will be broadened by the experience and find it useful in the future, and others won't.

I don't see why this thread has hundreds of comments, most of them arguing whether boys should or shouldn't participate in cotillion as if one answer would hold for them all.

It would be more helpful if people would stick to their personal cotillion experiences and first-hand knowledge, so that OP or another reader could more easily judge whether a cotillion opportunity would be worthwhile for a particular boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll accept that some boys *hate* cotillion, if the dittoheads can accept that some boys *enjoy* cotillion. My son does.

And the question of whether it's worthwhile is separate, because long-term value can compensate for a shortage of immediate enthusiasm. Some boys will be broadened by the experience and find it useful in the future, and others won't.

I don't see why this thread has hundreds of comments, most of them arguing whether boys should or shouldn't participate in cotillion as if one answer would hold for them all.

It would be more helpful if people would stick to their personal cotillion experiences and first-hand knowledge, so that OP or another reader could more easily judge whether a cotillion opportunity would be worthwhile for a particular boy.

Very well said. And just as some children (boys and girls) will enjoy it or hate it, some families will find it worthwhile and others will not. If you find it worthwhile and your child will enjoy it then by all means go. If you don't find it worthwhile and your child won't enjoy it then don't accept the invitations. No need to judge others who have made different choices.

[Anonymous]

This is 11:04 dad again. Some aspects of this debate are not an issue of opinion that I think some moms are not considering and weighing objectively--that is, you are torturing your sons and making them butt of ridicule if you send them. I also repeat and beg my urging to not just consult other moms--ask your male friends, fathers, brothers, ex-boyfriends, the neighbor next door: I guarantee you that they will, for the mental welfare of your all american boy, agree that you should keep him a million miles away from that pretentious, backwards, provincial (and lets admit it--racially exclusive) event that should be relegated to history, not a modern country in the 21st century.

[Anonymous]

I was wondering how diverse or "racially exclusive" is the Capital Cotillion? If this is true, I am definitely declining the invite. I hate that kind of stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was wondering how diverse or "racially exclusive" is the Capital Cotillion? If this is true, I am definitely declining the invite. I hate that kind of stuff.

Capital Cotillion invites mainly private school boys and girls. So, it's more "economically exclusive" than anything else.

[Anonymous]

I can't speak for other groups, but our University Park Junior Cotillion has as much ethnic diversity as the community, which is quite a bit.

And we should clear up some other unwarranted generalizations that 11:04 is making. My son and his friends have never caught flak from anyone for participating in cotillion. I'd really like to know where 11:04 went to school, and where his son goes, that has that kind of anti-culture culture. Seriously, 11:04, I think you're making it up.

As a dad, I wouldn't subject my son to an activity that made him miserable or subjected him to ridicule. By the same token, as a graduate of a boys' school, like my son attends, I know the value of participating in coed extracurriculars.

I never heard of cotillion when I was growing up, but I took a few ballroom dancing classes to get ready for waltzes in college and a swing dance in grad school. Those classes and dances were great times, and my partners appreciated that I knew what I was doing well enough to lead them. Later, my wife and I took some classes just for fun before we had kids.

Any man who likes music, physical activity, and the touch of a woman, can enjoy dancing. If a boy has a chance to join cotillion, no mature, knowledgeable person would make fun of him for participating.

[Anonymous]

Will everyone please stop with the cotillion debate already. It is really getting old. We get it -- some people love them; some people don't care; some people hate them. Can we move on? Surely there are other issues we could be taking on as well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will everyone please stop with the cotillion debate already. It is really getting old. We get it -- some people love them; some people don't care; some people hate them. Can we move on? Surely there are other issues we could be taking on as well!

This topic combines BOTH Beauvoir and Cotillion in the same thread. With such hot button topics (at least in this obsessive DCUM community), it is destined to go on forever . . .