What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated men because I liked them not because they were marriage material. Confused lust and love.

If you didnt know the difference between lust and love, then you were not marriage material in those relationships either. Cue surprised pikachu face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

A lot of women also choose lesbian because of how comfy and supportive the relationship is. Plus, hiking boots!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

A lot of women also choose lesbian because of how comfy and supportive the relationship is. Plus, hiking boots!

But doesn’t that counter the “sexuality is not a choice” discourse if women “choose” to spend their lives with other women past 40? Unless there was always an element of latent lesbianism at play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Content. Men, on the other hand, cannot stand being single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not compounding interest

This was the biggest mistake of my 20s by far!!! I will teach my kids to start early

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

Lol yes! Everyone around you is happy and married but you are single and have wasted your 20’s because men suck. What an incel world view.

Incel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Do you actually think a woman cannot be haply without a man? I mean seriously, wtf. But yes, gasp, content.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Do you actually think a woman cannot be haply without a man? I mean seriously, wtf. But yes, gasp, content.

Women seem unhinged when alone. Men less so. Both suffer from loneliness, to what extent is sensitive to their sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Do you actually think a woman cannot be haply without a man? I mean seriously, wtf. But yes, gasp, content.

Women seem unhinged when alone. Men less so. Both suffer from loneliness, to what extent is sensitive to their sex.

Quite the opposite. Women do not talk like you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't move in with a man unless you are engaged or know that engagement is in the near future. It's much harder to leave once you're living together.

How do you know engagement is in the near future? Are you proposing to him?

DP. Women are starting to propose.

Cmon now. You know the people posting these weird rules also do not believe in a woman proposing.

I'm a proponent of men and women making choices in their 20s that set them up for marriage and kids (and actually getting married) if they think they might want those things, and I absolutely believe in women proposing. But even if you don't want to propose, it's not like you can't talk seriously about timelines.

Talk is cheap!

My kids think it's hysterical that I gave their dad an ultimatum. I was offered a massive promotion that would have involved my moving away. I had only known my spouse for four months at this point but we had basically spent every day together. I told him "I think you're the one but I'm not turning down this massive promotion unless we're engaged." At some point, there's no point to dancing around. Figure out what you want and ask for it.

Look, I proposed to my husband! I'm on board with this.

To the PP who asked "How do you know engagement is in the near future? Are you proposing to him??"
I can't imagine being in a relationship for a few years and not having discussed this. You "know" because you talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Why does this discussion have to be gendered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Do you actually think a woman cannot be haply without a man? I mean seriously, wtf. But yes, gasp, content.

Women seem unhinged when alone. Men less so. Both suffer from loneliness, to what extent is sensitive to their sex.

Quite the opposite. Women do not talk like you

You sound bitter and miserable. Seek therapy hon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Do you actually think a woman cannot be haply without a man? I mean seriously, wtf. But yes, gasp, content.

Women seem unhinged when alone. Men less so. Both suffer from loneliness, to what extent is sensitive to their sex.

Guess you have not seen the data about remarriage after divorce or death of a spouse.

Men can’t handle running a home, let alone a family in their own.