The divide gets bigger as you get older...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you can't see on the surface is which people are in soul-killing jobs, whether they are paid well or not.

Totally agree - my DH works 70ish hours a week and makes $550K a year. BUT all he does is work or hang out with the kids/me. He rarely has any time for friends or hobbies.

On the other hand we have friends who have no kids and are constantly traveling, going to concerts, out to dinner, etc. They are the same age as us and probably make $200K HHI?

Maybe this is more a product of having kids than HHI though.

That's a function of who you are as a person/family.

Not really. It's pretty obvious that kids consume time and money and those who don't have kids would have a lot more disposable income even while earning the same HHI and a lot more free time to pursue personal hobbies or travel. Also DH above works long hours leaving very little time as. High earners are also usually not the type to take long vacations or frequent ones, they like to be relied on and irreplaceable at work to keep getting paid big bucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Even better when you're in your fourties.

THis is my goal and I'm in my mid twenties.

There is different between CHOOSING to work and HAVING to work hard.

LOL, I was like you in my 20s and made more money in late 20s early 30s than I do now at middle age. I thought I'd retire at 40 with a lot of money. After having kids balancing career and taking business risks became exponentially more difficult. If you want to retire at 40, then don't have kids, or have only one and some family around. Seriously. Another way is to have one spouse lean in and be dedicated to making it big, while the other spouse stays home taking care of family and kids. I feel like separation of duties and not having to balance both career and childcare and homemaking leads to better outcomes for the family overall (granted that parents stay together).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any job is "soul-killing" if you make it so. The trick is to not care.

The divide becomes apparent starting around age 30 and people start moving into different directions based on income trajectories. Where they can buy houses, kids start going to private schools or not, the quality of travel and other leisurely activities. And it's become worse as the bulk of economic growth accrues to a smaller pool of professional occupations. Law, finance, consulting and tech have really run away with most of the salary growths compared to other sectors.

Only about 10 percent of kids in the country go to private school. That's not to say that money doesn't matter for schools. It does, but for the vast majority of people it's because haing more money allows you to select the school district you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Even better when you're in your fourties.

THis is my goal and I'm in my mid twenties.

There is different between CHOOSING to work and HAVING to work hard.

LOL, I was like you in my 20s and made more money in late 20s early 30s than I do now at middle age. I thought I'd retire at 40 with a lot of money. After having kids balancing career and taking business risks became exponentially more difficult. If you want to retire at 40, then don't have kids, or have only one and some family around. Seriously. Another way is to have one spouse lean in and be dedicated to making it big, while the other spouse stays home taking care of family and kids. I feel like separation of duties and not having to balance both career and childcare and homemaking leads to better outcomes for the family overall (granted that parents stay together).

I plan on starting a business. and unlike most women, I don’t center my life around men and marriage. I don’t care about being picked. Motherhood won’t happen until i’m AT LEAST 38.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Even better when you're in your fourties.

THis is my goal and I'm in my mid twenties.

There is different between CHOOSING to work and HAVING to work hard.

LOL, I was like you in my 20s and made more money in late 20s early 30s than I do now at middle age. I thought I'd retire at 40 with a lot of money. After having kids balancing career and taking business risks became exponentially more difficult. If you want to retire at 40, then don't have kids, or have only one and some family around. Seriously. Another way is to have one spouse lean in and be dedicated to making it big, while the other spouse stays home taking care of family and kids. I feel like separation of duties and not having to balance both career and childcare and homemaking leads to better outcomes for the family overall (granted that parents stay together).

I plan on starting a business. and unlike most women, I don’t center my life around men and marriage. I don’t care about being picked. Motherhood won’t happen until i’m AT LEAST 38.

“Unlike most women” - giving away your immaturity right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Even better when you're in your fourties.

THis is my goal and I'm in my mid twenties.

There is different between CHOOSING to work and HAVING to work hard.

LOL, I was like you in my 20s and made more money in late 20s early 30s than I do now at middle age. I thought I'd retire at 40 with a lot of money. After having kids balancing career and taking business risks became exponentially more difficult. If you want to retire at 40, then don't have kids, or have only one and some family around. Seriously. Another way is to have one spouse lean in and be dedicated to making it big, while the other spouse stays home taking care of family and kids. I feel like separation of duties and not having to balance both career and childcare and homemaking leads to better outcomes for the family overall (granted that parents stay together).

I plan on starting a business. and unlike most women, I don’t center my life around men and marriage. I don’t care about being picked. Motherhood won’t happen until i’m AT LEAST 38.

“Unlike most women” - giving away your immaturity right there.

How so?? I’m just being honest. I’m a lesbian so unlike most women I have no desire to marry a man.

Again, just being candid.

Most women are straight and desire marrying a man who makes more than them.

That’s wont ever be my reality because i’m not straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Even better when you're in your fourties.

THis is my goal and I'm in my mid twenties.

There is different between CHOOSING to work and HAVING to work hard.

LOL, I was like you in my 20s and made more money in late 20s early 30s than I do now at middle age. I thought I'd retire at 40 with a lot of money. After having kids balancing career and taking business risks became exponentially more difficult. If you want to retire at 40, then don't have kids, or have only one and some family around. Seriously. Another way is to have one spouse lean in and be dedicated to making it big, while the other spouse stays home taking care of family and kids. I feel like separation of duties and not having to balance both career and childcare and homemaking leads to better outcomes for the family overall (granted that parents stay together).

I plan on starting a business. and unlike most women, I don’t center my life around men and marriage. I don’t care about being picked. Motherhood won’t happen until i’m AT LEAST 38.

“Unlike most women” - giving away your immaturity right there.

How so?? I’m just being honest. I’m a lesbian so unlike most women I have no desire to marry a man.

Again, just being candid.

Most women are straight and desire marrying a man who makes more than them.

That’s wont ever be my reality because i’m not straight.

I call troll. You don't have to be LGBTQ to not want to get married. I know so many women who are "straight" and who don't care about being picked. Are you living in 1950? No woman I know would make a blanket statement like that.

[Anonymous]

some of these posts are somewhat self-congratulatory. not trying to devalue hard work and talent. but a lot of life is also luck and factors at least partially outside of your control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Even better when you're in your fourties.

THis is my goal and I'm in my mid twenties.

There is different between CHOOSING to work and HAVING to work hard.

LOL, I was like you in my 20s and made more money in late 20s early 30s than I do now at middle age. I thought I'd retire at 40 with a lot of money. After having kids balancing career and taking business risks became exponentially more difficult. If you want to retire at 40, then don't have kids, or have only one and some family around. Seriously. Another way is to have one spouse lean in and be dedicated to making it big, while the other spouse stays home taking care of family and kids. I feel like separation of duties and not having to balance both career and childcare and homemaking leads to better outcomes for the family overall (granted that parents stay together).

I plan on starting a business. and unlike most women, I don’t center my life around men and marriage. I don’t care about being picked. Motherhood won’t happen until i’m AT LEAST 38.

“Unlike most women” - giving away your immaturity right there.

How so?? I’m just being honest. I’m a lesbian so unlike most women I have no desire to marry a man.

Again, just being candid.

Most women are straight and desire marrying a man who makes more than them.

That’s wont ever be my reality because i’m not straight.

I call troll. You don't have to be LGBTQ to not want to get married. I know so many women who are "straight" and who don't care about being picked. Are you living in 1950? No woman I know would make a blanket statement like that.

You lack reading comprehension. The majority of women do desire a man and are straight.

Exceptions don’t make the rule.

I’m a lesbian. Thus I am not like most women. It’s simple math and a fact.

Calm tf down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Even better when you're in your fourties.

THis is my goal and I'm in my mid twenties.

There is different between CHOOSING to work and HAVING to work hard.

LOL, I was like you in my 20s and made more money in late 20s early 30s than I do now at middle age. I thought I'd retire at 40 with a lot of money. After having kids balancing career and taking business risks became exponentially more difficult. If you want to retire at 40, then don't have kids, or have only one and some family around. Seriously. Another way is to have one spouse lean in and be dedicated to making it big, while the other spouse stays home taking care of family and kids. I feel like separation of duties and not having to balance both career and childcare and homemaking leads to better outcomes for the family overall (granted that parents stay together).

I plan on starting a business. and unlike most women, I don’t center my life around men and marriage. I don’t care about being picked. Motherhood won’t happen until i’m AT LEAST 38.

“Unlike most women” - giving away your immaturity right there.

How so?? I’m just being honest. I’m a lesbian so unlike most women I have no desire to marry a man.

Again, just being candid.

Most women are straight and desire marrying a man who makes more than them.

That’s wont ever be my reality because i’m not straight.

I call troll. You don't have to be LGBTQ to not want to get married. I know so many women who are "straight" and who don't care about being picked. Are you living in 1950? No woman I know would make a blanket statement like that.

You lack reading comprehension. The majority of women do desire a man and are straight.

Exceptions don’t make the rule.

I’m a lesbian. Thus I am not like most women. It’s simple math and a fact.

Calm tf down.

DP. The trolling parts of your comments are that “most women center their lives around men and marriage” and “desire” a man who makes more than them. Those are fighting words. Doesn’t matter if you’re a lesbian.

[Anonymous]

A decision to have 0, 1,2, 3, 4 or more kids is a major economical decision and changes your lifestyle drastically.

With 3+ kids it’s harder for a woman to work because of cost of childcare. Kids are expensive. Travel with 3+ kids becomes unaffordable for many people. Saving for college become unaffordable, buying cars for them. Even groceries for a family of five are so much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Even better when you're in your fourties.

THis is my goal and I'm in my mid twenties.

There is different between CHOOSING to work and HAVING to work hard.

LOL, I was like you in my 20s and made more money in late 20s early 30s than I do now at middle age. I thought I'd retire at 40 with a lot of money. After having kids balancing career and taking business risks became exponentially more difficult. If you want to retire at 40, then don't have kids, or have only one and some family around. Seriously. Another way is to have one spouse lean in and be dedicated to making it big, while the other spouse stays home taking care of family and kids. I feel like separation of duties and not having to balance both career and childcare and homemaking leads to better outcomes for the family overall (granted that parents stay together).

I plan on starting a business. and unlike most women, I don’t center my life around men and marriage. I don’t care about being picked. Motherhood won’t happen until i’m AT LEAST 38.

“Unlike most women” - giving away your immaturity right there.

How so?? I’m just being honest. I’m a lesbian so unlike most women I have no desire to marry a man.

Again, just being candid.

Most women are straight and desire marrying a man who makes more than them.

That’s wont ever be my reality because i’m not straight.

I call troll. You don't have to be LGBTQ to not want to get married. I know so many women who are "straight" and who don't care about being picked. Are you living in 1950? No woman I know would make a blanket statement like that.

You lack reading comprehension. The majority of women do desire a man and are straight.

Exceptions don’t make the rule.

I’m a lesbian. Thus I am not like most women. It’s simple math and a fact.

Calm tf down.

You arw an incell posing as a lesbian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:some of these posts are somewhat self-congratulatory. not trying to devalue hard work and talent. but a lot of life is also luck and factors at least partially outside of your control.

Yeah, from what I can tell, almost none of the wealthy posters on DCUM really agree with you there. Most seem to believe quite sincerely that they are rich solely because of their own merit. And the poors, well, they just aren’t as good at life, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:some of these posts are somewhat self-congratulatory. not trying to devalue hard work and talent. but a lot of life is also luck and factors at least partially outside of your control.

Yeah, from what I can tell, almost none of the wealthy posters on DCUM really agree with you there. Most seem to believe quite sincerely that they are rich solely because of their own merit. And the poors, well, they just aren’t as good at life, sadly.

https://www.businessinsider.com/why-rich-people-think-theyre-better-than-everyone-scientific-explanation-2019-5?amp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Even better when you're in your fourties.

THis is my goal and I'm in my mid twenties.

There is different between CHOOSING to work and HAVING to work hard.

Can confirm. Just did this at 47.

I just did it at 40. It’s been so liberating but I definitely need to put some thinking into how to spend my time now, which I’d like to include some (but not a ton of) work.