Having kids makes you mean and nasty...

[Anonymous]

I am constanly amazed at the level of hostility I see on this forum and wonder if maybe having or taking care of kids makes people nasty? The fact that a post about a kid peeing behind a tree could get that many nasty responses blows my mind. Whenever I read a nasty post I think this person is ripping this other person a new hole on line and at the same time telling their child how she or he needs to learn to "be nice" or "be considerate" of another child's feelings. What gives? Is it that we're all so busy trying to be the perfect parent that it builds up all day and we explode?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am constanly amazed at the level of hostility I see on this forum and wonder if maybe having or taking care of kids makes people nasty? The fact that a post about a kid peeing behind a tree could get that many nasty responses blows my mind. Whenever I read a nasty post I think this person is ripping this other person a new hole on line and at the same time telling their child how she or he needs to learn to "be nice" or "be considerate" of another child's feelings. What gives? Is it that we're all so busy trying to be the perfect parent that it builds up all day and we explode?

Your so right. Unfortunately I think it's a few of the same people who go from thread to thread judging. I like that we can debate things. I don't like the way we do it. This site would not be as interesting if we all agreed, but we sure can learn to discuss things like adults. Your example about how some people tell their kids to be nice but are nasty here is so on point and I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymity makes people nasty. duh.

[Anonymous]

No, anonymity makes unhappy people nasty.

[Anonymous]

Not every parenting board is like this. They are all different and have their own issues, though. The anonymity of the internet does seem to bring out the worst in people sometimes, but it's not like this everywhere, and I don't think it's because people have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, anonymity makes unhappy people nasty.

Yep. I think there's people on the forum who only come here to actively seek ways to be nasty. That's their problem (and sad) if they don't have anything better to do with their time.

For everyone else, it makes sense to just ignore them. If you let it get you riled up, you're giving them what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not every parenting board is like this. They are all different and have their own issues, though. The anonymity of the internet does seem to bring out the worst in people sometimes, but it's not like this everywhere, and I don't think it's because people have kids.

Which one? Can you share the name? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Lack of sleep definately makes me 'nasty' but I also think sometimes things come across harsher in writing than they do in conversation. Also, it seems "socially acceptable" to throw in mean comments or slights here so I've picked up doing that.

[Anonymous]

Babycenter.com for one. It's very normal and there are hundreds of subtopics for stages of childhood, marriage issues, infertility, etc.

I met some really nice women in the miscarriage forum there, and we are still emailing offline 4 years and 6 kids later (between us all - - we all went on to carry to term).

[Anonymous]

I agree with what everyone is saying, but I also think that there is a little bit of truth here on this site. We, and I am mean ME, can tend to put on this supportive facade when it comes to other parents and their problems, get get us anonymously and we say what we really think. I mean, people are idiots and sometimes you really want to tell them that. I think this board is a release for everything we cannot say in our playdates, schools, workplaces, etc. But meaner.

[Anonymous]

I go to dcmetromommies.com as well and haven't seen anything as remotely nasty as I've seen on this site. It's not anonymous and I do think that plays a part for some people. When I was on the "expectant moms" part of this site and I saw all the nastiness that took place there, I chalked it up to pregnancy hormones; now I think it has more to do with unhappy people who have the opportunity to vent anonymously. If one's name and email address were attached to some of the words I've seen here, I think it would be an entirely different story. People are nasty cause they can be. These are the same people who are rude to servers at restaurants and customer service people whenever they get the chance. That all being said, I love this site because I find the topics are relevant and most of the people are good natured and helpful.

[Anonymous]

I was mean and nasty before I had kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with what everyone is saying, but I also think that there is a little bit of truth here on this site. We, and I am mean ME, can tend to put on this supportive facade when it comes to other parents and their problems, get get us anonymously and we say what we really think. I mean, people are idiots and sometimes you really want to tell them that. I think this board is a release for everything we cannot say in our playdates, schools, workplaces, etc. But meaner.

But you can say what you think without being nasty. It's one thing to disagree with someone and thoughtfully, intelligently explain the reasons. It's another thing to be mean, just to be a jerk.

[Anonymous]

I've actually been wondering recently - how many people do we think are actually regulars on DCUM? I have no idea. Is it 100? 200? 500? I'd be curious to know...

[Anonymous]

Insecurity.