Preschool wants DD to wear shorts under her skirts/dresses. Normal?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| DD just started a part-time 3 year old preschool class. Last week, I got a note from the teacher aide requesting that we put shorts on under DD's skirts/dresses. I finally had a chance to ask her teacher about this today, and she said that was their preference since little girls at this age don't understand modesty and that they often show their panties when they sit down or sometimes they even lift up their skirts deliberately. I said, yes, I had noticed DD doing that from time to time, but that I thought it was a good teaching moment - I tell DD that no one wants to see her underpants and that she should keep her skirt down, etc. The teacher gave me a very PC response - "Yes, mom, I understand if you don't want to do this and I respect your decision. But as a mom myself, this is what we are comfortable with and what we suggest to parents." WTF? I find this request so odd. First of all, she's THREE. These kids still routinely pee in front of each other, so I wouldn't think it's a big deal if the boys see her underpants. Also, she's only recently potty trained and I've been putting her in skirts/dresses because it's easiest to get on and off. Adding a pair of shorts just complicates things. And shouldn't we be teaching them to not lift their skirts? Is this a normal request at this age? |
Anonymous
|
I would find this very odd as well. They are 3. The likely bathe with siblings of the opposite sex. And we are talking about underpants here, not "panties" per se.
|
Anonymous
| I always put my girls in shorts under their dresses or skirts. I have two girls ages 4 and 6, so I don't think their request is unreasonable. I just explain to my dds that if they want to climb up ladders, do the monkey bars, play in the sand, it is better for them to have shorts on. I don't think it's that hard for your dd to pull undies and shorts back up. My dd was in preschool last year, and we did the same then when she was 3. |
Anonymous
| I don't think anyone is worried about 3 year old boys looking at her underpants - it is the dirty old men out there you don't want to titillate. |
Anonymous
| Is this a religious/conservative school? This strikes me as bizarrely antiquated and almost overly-sexualized. Omigod, mustn't see little Olivia's panties. Whereas little Jacob's underpants? Is there a concern about him? Does he have to wear an undershirt in case he accidently pulls up his shirt and exposes himself? |
Anonymous
At preschool??? |
Anonymous
| Same with my dd. try monkeybarpants. Dd loves them! |
Anonymous
| If you don't want to do it, don't do it. It's what they request, not what they require, and if it doesn't work for you then you're not required to comply with their request. Just like they are not required to comply with your request that when she lifts her dress over her head that they say, "Honey, put your dress down; nobody wants to see your panties." Quid pro quo. |
Anonymous
OP here. Yes, I think this is why I am so bothered by the request. It's as though they are suggesting that my 3 year old DD has some sort of sexuality that needs to be covered up and protected! This is not a religious school, but we recently left DC for a much more conservative area of the country and I definitely felt undertones of religious modesty from the teacher's comments. I am probably more irritated by this request than I ought to be. On the one hand, I don't want to comply because I think it's ridiculous and I think she should just learn to keep her skirt down. On the other hand, I definitely feel the teachers will judge us if we allow DD's underwear to remain "exposed." Argh! I don't even like this school very much to begin with and this experience has soured me even more. Unfortunately, the good alternatives are all full. |
Anonymous
Send her in these:
|
Anonymous
| When my family moved to Texas in 1974 from DC, I was shunned by the other girls because I didn't wear shorts under my dresses -- for the reasons this teacher is telling you your daughter needs to. I thought (or at least hoped) times had changed, but apparently they haven't. Good lord. |
Anonymous
+1 I don't think this is odd at all. After my DD outgrew dresses with bloomers we switched to bike shorts. Call it what you like. I find it gross myself to see 3,4,5,6 yr old girls sitting in dresses legs spread with their underwear showing. |
Anonymous
+1 DD always has either bloomers or bike shorts under dresses. In cold weather it will be leggings or tights. She's two and a half. |
Anonymous
| If I was caring for a group of young kids, I would not want to have one of them flashing her undies on the playground every day, and I also would not like to lead a classroom discussion on the merits of keeping your dress down. Why not dress your daughter so that she is actually covered, so that she can run and play without you or anyone else needing to be the pantie police? |
Anonymous
| This is normal and required in K at our school. |