Going home hungry after birthday parties

[Anonymous]

^^ PP here.

We've also noticed the last few years that the snacks didn't get eaten. Then here they sit. The kids are too busy playing/goofing around to care about food. Some of them don't even eat much cake. Fine with me. We had family/close friend only parties until kids were old enough to be dropped off.

[Anonymous]

People have given pretty elaborate justifications for why they don't feed their guests and I can see how your logic is working in your head, but I just can't wrap my head around how is it not rude to invite some one over and not provide basic refreshments? I would never host an event planning to not have at least light snacks and a beverage or two. Doesn't have to be fancy but even when a neighbor stops by unexpectedly, I at least get them a glass of water and invite them to sit down. Sounds like some of you don't bother with even that? How can you claim to be hosting a party if you won't do that little for your guests? Do you not like the people you're inviting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People have given pretty elaborate justifications for why they don't feed their guests and I can see how your logic is working in your head, but I just can't wrap my head around how is it not rude to invite some one over and not provide basic refreshments? I would never host an event planning to not have at least light snacks and a beverage or two. Doesn't have to be fancy but even when a neighbor stops by unexpectedly, I at least get them a glass of water and invite them to sit down. Sounds like some of you don't bother with even that? How can you claim to be hosting a party if you won't do that little for your guests? Do you not like the people you're inviting?

People are saying they offer cake, ice cream and a drink. Nobody's saying they offer absolutely nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. Not doing it for a 2:30-4 party. It was at Curiosity Zone and the kids were all in the lab doing experiment and activities until it was time for cake, at which time they moved into the eating room. Parents stand in the lobby and watch through the plate glass windows. At cake time, after singing HB, cake and drinks distributed to all, children and adults. At end of party, goody bags handed out and everyone was on their way. Done.

So the whole time the parents are standing the other side of the glass, there's nothing for them? No water? No cheese & crackers? I do think that's kind of weird but I have friends like you and I know to come prepared with water bottles for the whole family along with snacks in my purse when invited to functions hosted by them - my bag gets pretty heavy carrying around a half gallon of water but that's the price of accepting invitations like this. I would just hate to be that host who doesn't make her guests comfortable.

NP. I am perfectly comfortable standing around, watching my kid, and chatting with other parents. I don't need to be given food and water everywhere I go. And while I'm on the topic, who decided that meetings all need to have food? Enough with the constant snacking and waste.

I think those who call people for birthday parties and not serve food and beverages are just doing it to get presents. They are too cheap to mention that people do not need to get presents for their child. After all the point is to have fun and games and activities - right? So no food and no presents.

Better still - please mention on your invite - this is a fun and games birthday party, no food will be served, and no presents are expected.

How about a plastic birthday cake? So that it can be reused year after year? Less waste!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have given pretty elaborate justifications for why they don't feed their guests and I can see how your logic is working in your head, but I just can't wrap my head around how is it not rude to invite some one over and not provide basic refreshments? I would never host an event planning to not have at least light snacks and a beverage or two. Doesn't have to be fancy but even when a neighbor stops by unexpectedly, I at least get them a glass of water and invite them to sit down. Sounds like some of you don't bother with even that? How can you claim to be hosting a party if you won't do that little for your guests? Do you not like the people you're inviting?

People are saying they offer cake, ice cream and a drink. Nobody's saying they offer absolutely nothing.

People are offering less than what is needed. And people are not offering food to adults. People are putting an investment of a $15 cake and calling 20 people and expecting at least a present that costs $15.

How about a dollar store present for a cake, ice-cream, drinks party?

Why even have a party? Put a drop box in front of your house and ask people to donate toys to your kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ PP here.

We've also noticed the last few years that the snacks didn't get eaten. Then here they sit. The kids are too busy playing/goofing around to care about food. Some of them don't even eat much cake. Fine with me. We had family/close friend only parties until kids were old enough to be dropped off.

Actually - you should continue to call family and have this kind of party only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have given pretty elaborate justifications for why they don't feed their guests and I can see how your logic is working in your head, but I just can't wrap my head around how is it not rude to invite some one over and not provide basic refreshments? I would never host an event planning to not have at least light snacks and a beverage or two. Doesn't have to be fancy but even when a neighbor stops by unexpectedly, I at least get them a glass of water and invite them to sit down. Sounds like some of you don't bother with even that? How can you claim to be hosting a party if you won't do that little for your guests? Do you not like the people you're inviting?

People are saying they offer cake, ice cream and a drink. Nobody's saying they offer absolutely nothing.

Actually there are people saying they offer nothing to the adults and it's not a drop-off party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ones that really puzzle me are when there is a 90 dollar boutique bakery cake and a box of goldfish. Its like wouldn't it be better to spend 40 bucks on sheet pizzas and 30 bucks on a giant cake and 20 bucks on juice boxes and snacks?

Whatever. That is the hosts' choice. Let them do their party the way they want to; you do your party the way YOU want to. Live and let live.

ooo that one hurt huh? did you buy a 100 dollar princess sofia cake for your little sofia and nothing else??? yup yup you did!

Nope. Ours was Costco with flowers and a sun on it b/c I do not push commercial characters on my child.

Well while you were at Costco you should have picked up a cheese platter.

Sorry. Not doing it for a 2:30-4 party. It was at Curiosity Zone and the kids were all in the lab doing experiment and activities until it was time for cake, at which time they moved into the eating room. Parents stand in the lobby and watch through the plate glass windows. At cake time, after singing HB, cake and drinks distributed to all, children and adults. At end of party, goody bags handed out and everyone was on their way. Done.

So the whole time the parents are standing the other side of the glass, there's nothing for them? No water? No cheese & crackers? I do think that's kind of weird but I have friends like you and I know to come prepared with water bottles for the whole family along with snacks in my purse when invited to functions hosted by them - my bag gets pretty heavy carrying around a half gallon of water but that's the price of accepting invitations like this. I would just hate to be that host who doesn't make her guests comfortable.

NP here but I think you are nuts. Sure, it would be nice to have some water or snacks or whatever for the adults, but 2:30-4 is not even close to being a meal time. While you have proved your ability to be self-sufficient (congrats, you brought yourself a bottle of water and somehow managed to survive), you come off as really sanctimonious.

I agree with the poster who said live and let live. A 1.5 hour child's birthday party in which only cake is served is not even on my radar of things to be bothered about.

Absolutely. You should have a "1.5 hour child's birthday party in which only cake is served", just make sure you tell people not to get presents and also mention that only cake will be served.

I would love to drop in a party like that where it does not cost me anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never been to a party where there wasn't food. I feel like that's part of the definition of a party. I don't think you have to feed adults, per se, but I do think it's really weird to not offer some sort of snack for the children. It's not that hard to get something safe.

+1 And I have three kids and we go to tons of parties

I think it's weird to revolve your life around food and to say that food is the definition of a party.

...and presents are a definition of a party? Why don't you admit it that you all are cheap people who are doing this just to get gifts. It does not stop you from going to other people's houses and birthdays and stuffing your face with food, whatever time the party is?

[Anonymous]

I think its regional, too. Are Southerners and Middle Americans cheap?

I had never once seen this before I moved to this area. Its like part of the D.C. p*ssing contest to stand around and look at each other and not have enough food. Aren't the hosts embarrassed? They should be!

[Anonymous]

NP: Just say on the invites what you will have! DD's birthday party last weekend was from 3-5. On the invites I said "we will have snacks and cake" i.e. no full meal. We had chips, pretzels, grapes, cheese sticks, and cake (coffee for the adults as well as milk/juice boxes for the kids). Just let people know what to expect...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have given pretty elaborate justifications for why they don't feed their guests and I can see how your logic is working in your head, but I just can't wrap my head around how is it not rude to invite some one over and not provide basic refreshments? I would never host an event planning to not have at least light snacks and a beverage or two. Doesn't have to be fancy but even when a neighbor stops by unexpectedly, I at least get them a glass of water and invite them to sit down. Sounds like some of you don't bother with even that? How can you claim to be hosting a party if you won't do that little for your guests? Do you not like the people you're inviting?

People are saying they offer cake, ice cream and a drink. Nobody's saying they offer absolutely nothing.

People are offering less than what is needed. And people are not offering food to adults. People are putting an investment of a $15 cake and calling 20 people and expecting at least a present that costs $15.

How about a dollar store present for a cake, ice-cream, drinks party?

Why even have a party? Put a drop box in front of your house and ask people to donate toys to your kid!

Holy cow lady, you are greedy. Investments? Calculating the cost of the cake relative to the cost of your gift? Blech, you are no fun. I'm giving your kid a Happy Meal toy for a birthday gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should only expect snacks at a kid's party, for the kids. Parents don't need any special food or drinks. The party is for the kids and kids don't need or want big meals at a party.

Unless it is a drop off party, you should feed everyone. What is wrong with you guys? How broke are you?

My parents were far more broke than 99% of DCUM families...and they fed everyone. I'm Indian, and even when times were lean, they could make a pot of channa, some rice , a vegetable and perhaps a meat curry, with some homemade samosas and other snacks. Don't have a party you cannot afford, people. IF you aren't comfortable in the kitchen and catering is $20/head, then have a very small party and make some sandwiches at home and cut them up, cut up some veggies for a veggie tray, make a tray of mac and cheese, etc.

Let's face it: it's just a cultural thing. Growing up here in the States (DC metropolitan area) in the 1970s, kids' bday parties were just for kids; the kids were dropped off; and it was usually like 2-4 in the afternoon on a Saturday, and the hosts served cake, ice cream, and drinks. That's it.

You are talking about something different: a party where adults and maybe other family members attend. Your parents thus served lots of yummy, ethnic, but inexpensive food. Personally, I do not care for this type of food so attending a party where this food was served wouldn't help me at all, b/c I would not eat any of it. Also, the smells would make me fell yucky and would sort of overwhelm the party experience to me. To me, a child's b-day party is not an ethnic Indian restaurant type of experience. But, whatever, if you held a party like this, we'd happily attend, be good guests, have nice manners, and go home. We wouldnt' complain about your choice of food, and, LIKEWISE, if you were MY guest at MY child's party, I would expect that you would recognize it was a different type of experience and you would attend and not complain about it either, not complain about it not conforming to your Indian expectations.

Geez, people. Different strokes for different folks. Ever heard of that?

Dear Indian poster,

It is not a cultural thing. You must have heard of the famed Southern hospitality? Well, food and iced tea was served on all occasions. Even is someone just dropped in, refreshments were offered. My family is Italian. You cannot come to our house without being fed and a doggy bag packed for you. My family would be appalled if you were not fed properly in our house.

Unfortunately, there are some ill bred people who do not know how to be good hosts. And I thank you for the food you serve at your hosted events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its regional, too. Are Southerners and Middle Americans cheap?

I had never once seen this before I moved to this area. Its like part of the D.C. p*ssing contest to stand around and look at each other and not have enough food. Aren't the hosts embarrassed? They should be!

Ha, maybe that explains it! Where I come from, dinner parties are really common and growing up, I never went to a party with just cake, even if it was held 2-4. Hosting a party means showing your guests what you can cook - whether it's BBQ, a casserole, seven layer dip, whatever just serve up something! And a Costco cake isn't really food - that's dessert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are going to a party from 12:30-2 and was told by the host there will be no lunch served. I was steaming. That is lunchtime, my dc will be hungry so I have to carry lunch with me for him. What are thinking.

Actually, boycott such events. Do not go. Or buy a coloring book from dollar store and give that as a present.