Going home hungry after birthday parties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ones that really puzzle me are when there is a 90 dollar boutique bakery cake and a box of goldfish. Its like wouldn't it be better to spend 40 bucks on sheet pizzas and 30 bucks on a giant cake and 20 bucks on juice boxes and snacks?

Whatever. That is the hosts' choice. Let them do their party the way they want to; you do your party the way YOU want to. Live and let live.

ooo that one hurt huh? did you buy a 100 dollar princess sofia cake for your little sofia and nothing else??? yup yup you did!

Nope. Ours was Costco with flowers and a sun on it b/c I do not push commercial characters on my child.

Well while you were at Costco you should have picked up a cheese platter.

Sorry. Not doing it for a 2:30-4 party. It was at Curiosity Zone and the kids were all in the lab doing experiment and activities until it was time for cake, at which time they moved into the eating room. Parents stand in the lobby and watch through the plate glass windows. At cake time, after singing HB, cake and drinks distributed to all, children and adults. At end of party, goody bags handed out and everyone was on their way. Done.

So the whole time the parents are standing the other side of the glass, there's nothing for them? No water? No cheese & crackers? I do think that's kind of weird but I have friends like you and I know to come prepared with water bottles for the whole family along with snacks in my purse when invited to functions hosted by them - my bag gets pretty heavy carrying around a half gallon of water but that's the price of accepting invitations like this. I would just hate to be that host who doesn't make her guests comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably the host reads DCUM and is afraid to serve anything other than organic carrots and water to avoid offending the sensibilities of the guests. Seriously, you can't win.

Love it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should only expect snacks at a kid's party, for the kids. Parents don't need any special food or drinks. The party is for the kids and kids don't need or want big meals at a party.

Unless it is a drop off party, you should feed everyone. What is wrong with you guys? How broke are you?

My parents were far more broke than 99% of DCUM families...and they fed everyone. I'm Indian, and even when times were lean, they could make a pot of channa, some rice , a vegetable and perhaps a meat curry, with some homemade samosas and other snacks. Don't have a party you cannot afford, people. IF you aren't comfortable in the kitchen and catering is $20/head, then have a very small party and make some sandwiches at home and cut them up, cut up some veggies for a veggie tray, make a tray of mac and cheese, etc.

Let's face it: it's just a cultural thing. Growing up here in the States (DC metropolitan area) in the 1970s, kids' bday parties were just for kids; the kids were dropped off; and it was usually like 2-4 in the afternoon on a Saturday, and the hosts served cake, ice cream, and drinks. That's it.

You are talking about something different: a party where adults and maybe other family members attend. Your parents thus served lots of yummy, ethnic, but inexpensive food. Personally, I do not care for this type of food so attending a party where this food was served wouldn't help me at all, b/c I would not eat any of it. Also, the smells would make me fell yucky and would sort of overwhelm the party experience to me. To me, a child's b-day party is not an ethnic Indian restaurant type of experience. But, whatever, if you held a party like this, we'd happily attend, be good guests, have nice manners, and go home. We wouldnt' complain about your choice of food, and, LIKEWISE, if you were MY guest at MY child's party, I would expect that you would recognize it was a different type of experience and you would attend and not complain about it either, not complain about it not conforming to your Indian expectations.

Geez, people. Different strokes for different folks. Ever heard of that?

The point is that my parents accommodated their guests' desires. I wouldn't assume that 30 of my friends would all like indian food. So when we do have Indian food, we also have other kinds of food - pizza, sandwiches, whatever.

Also, cake and ice cream IS an ethnic experience. To say you want a "normal" experience and not an "ethnic" one is ridiculous. I am totally cool with a cake and snacks party at 2, but to invite whole families for a party at 11-1 (or not allow drop offs, therefore obligating parents to stay) and not feeding parents is just rude. Why have a party if it is all about you and what you want? Maybe this is a cultural difference, but I view hosting and parties as doing something nice for my guests. Sending them home hungry, or giving them food they do not like (within reason), defeats the whole purpose of a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. Not doing it for a 2:30-4 party. It was at Curiosity Zone and the kids were all in the lab doing experiment and activities until it was time for cake, at which time they moved into the eating room. Parents stand in the lobby and watch through the plate glass windows. At cake time, after singing HB, cake and drinks distributed to all, children and adults. At end of party, goody bags handed out and everyone was on their way. Done.

So the whole time the parents are standing the other side of the glass, there's nothing for them? No water? No cheese & crackers? I do think that's kind of weird but I have friends like you and I know to come prepared with water bottles for the whole family along with snacks in my purse when invited to functions hosted by them - my bag gets pretty heavy carrying around a half gallon of water but that's the price of accepting invitations like this. I would just hate to be that host who doesn't make her guests comfortable.

NP. I am perfectly comfortable standing around, watching my kid, and chatting with other parents. I don't need to be given food and water everywhere I go. And while I'm on the topic, who decided that meetings all need to have food? Enough with the constant snacking and waste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ones that really puzzle me are when there is a 90 dollar boutique bakery cake and a box of goldfish. Its like wouldn't it be better to spend 40 bucks on sheet pizzas and 30 bucks on a giant cake and 20 bucks on juice boxes and snacks?

Whatever. That is the hosts' choice. Let them do their party the way they want to; you do your party the way YOU want to. Live and let live.

ooo that one hurt huh? did you buy a 100 dollar princess sofia cake for your little sofia and nothing else??? yup yup you did!

Nope. Ours was Costco with flowers and a sun on it b/c I do not push commercial characters on my child.

Well while you were at Costco you should have picked up a cheese platter.

Sorry. Not doing it for a 2:30-4 party. It was at Curiosity Zone and the kids were all in the lab doing experiment and activities until it was time for cake, at which time they moved into the eating room. Parents stand in the lobby and watch through the plate glass windows. At cake time, after singing HB, cake and drinks distributed to all, children and adults. At end of party, goody bags handed out and everyone was on their way. Done.

So the whole time the parents are standing the other side of the glass, there's nothing for them? No water? No cheese & crackers? I do think that's kind of weird but I have friends like you and I know to come prepared with water bottles for the whole family along with snacks in my purse when invited to functions hosted by them - my bag gets pretty heavy carrying around a half gallon of water but that's the price of accepting invitations like this. I would just hate to be that host who doesn't make her guests comfortable.

NP here but I think you are nuts. Sure, it would be nice to have some water or snacks or whatever for the adults, but 2:30-4 is not even close to being a meal time. While you have proved your ability to be self-sufficient (congrats, you brought yourself a bottle of water and somehow managed to survive), you come off as really sanctimonious.

I agree with the poster who said live and let live. A 1.5 hour child's birthday party in which only cake is served is not even on my radar of things to be bothered about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

You had an out...you're pregnant and need to eat. Your host would understand if you ate a handful of nuts. Plus, why would you eat cake and cookies if it gives you a stomach ache? You opted to make yourself sick, and you are blaming your party host.

[Anonymous]

Anybody else have a birthday party in the 1980s? Every party included cake, ice cream, and a drink (Kool-Aid or something similar). Nobody expected a full meal or even snacks. They were at somebody's house, with maybe 10 invited kids; parents dropped us off. It was fun. Obviously times have changed, but when? How? When did people decide that when they're invited to a party they E should EXPECT certain things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

You had an out...you're pregnant and need to eat. Your host would understand if you ate a handful of nuts. Plus, why would you eat cake and cookies if it gives you a stomach ache? You opted to make yourself sick, and you are blaming your party host.

Well I was hungry and that's what there was to eat. The host worked really hard to prepare a buffet of cakes and cookies and I didn't want to be rude, but thanks to DCUM I now know people don't mind if a guest rejects the host's food and instead eats out of her purse. If I were the host, I'd be very embarrassed by that unless the guest had some serious allergy issue I hadn't been warned about and had the opportunity to accommodate.

[Anonymous]

It ranges but I think it's nice to feed the kids at least. We just went to a party that ended at 5:30 and each kid got a bag of snack-sized chips and a piece of cake. That was it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

You had an out...you're pregnant and need to eat. Your host would understand if you ate a handful of nuts. Plus, why would you eat cake and cookies if it gives you a stomach ache? You opted to make yourself sick, and you are blaming your party host.

Well I was hungry and that's what there was to eat. The host worked really hard to prepare a buffet of cakes and cookies and I didn't want to be rude, but thanks to DCUM I now know people don't mind if a guest rejects the host's food and instead eats out of her purse. If I were the host, I'd be very embarrassed by that unless the guest had some serious allergy issue I hadn't been warned about and had the opportunity to accommodate.

Jesus Christ, you are bitchy. Go to the bathroom and gobble a protein bar, but get off your fucking high horse. You didn't like the spread, but by your own admission the "host worked really hard to prepare a buffet of cakes and cookies"--in other words, she did serve food, in the form of a variety of desserts. You just didn't happen to like the kind of foods she served.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

You had an out...you're pregnant and need to eat. Your host would understand if you ate a handful of nuts. Plus, why would you eat cake and cookies if it gives you a stomach ache? You opted to make yourself sick, and you are blaming your party host.

Well I was hungry and that's what there was to eat. The host worked really hard to prepare a buffet of cakes and cookies and I didn't want to be rude, but thanks to DCUM I now know people don't mind if a guest rejects the host's food and instead eats out of her purse. If I were the host, I'd be very embarrassed by that unless the guest had some serious allergy issue I hadn't been warned about and had the opportunity to accommodate.

No way you'd be embarrassed if a pregnant woman ate a little snack at your party...really? What the heck kind of snacks are we talking about here anyway, a spaghetti dinner in your purse? I doubt your host would mind if you snarfed down a little snack being as you're pregnant. I think you're just trying to make the party host look bad by pretending to be a helpless little lady with a bun in the oven; and you're looking for an excuse to play "poor me."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else have a birthday party in the 1980s? Every party included cake, ice cream, and a drink (Kool-Aid or something similar). Nobody expected a full meal or even snacks. They were at somebody's house, with maybe 10 invited kids; parents dropped us off. It was fun. Obviously times have changed, but when? How? When did people decide that when they're invited to a party they E should EXPECT certain things?

Who knows? Although I will say that my 1980s and 1990s kid birthday party experiences usually included bowls of potato chips, too. I would not be remotely offended if someone served cake, ice cream, and nothing else at a kids' party, unless the party was over a standard meal time (11-1 ish, or 5-7 ish). In which case, I think it's only considerate to serve a meal. There is more than one way to be hospitable; it does not require serving a full meal at 2:00 in the afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

You had an out...you're pregnant and need to eat. Your host would understand if you ate a handful of nuts. Plus, why would you eat cake and cookies if it gives you a stomach ache? You opted to make yourself sick, and you are blaming your party host.

Well I was hungry and that's what there was to eat. The host worked really hard to prepare a buffet of cakes and cookies and I didn't want to be rude, but thanks to DCUM I now know people don't mind if a guest rejects the host's food and instead eats out of her purse. If I were the host, I'd be very embarrassed by that unless the guest had some serious allergy issue I hadn't been warned about and had the opportunity to accommodate.

You are crazy pants. Eat the food provided or don't. Eat the snacks you brought or don't. Nobody cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else have a birthday party in the 1980s? Every party included cake, ice cream, and a drink (Kool-Aid or something similar). Nobody expected a full meal or even snacks. They were at somebody's house, with maybe 10 invited kids; parents dropped us off. It was fun. Obviously times have changed, but when? How? When did people decide that when they're invited to a party they E should EXPECT certain things?

Who knows? Although I will say that my 1980s and 1990s kid birthday party experiences usually included bowls of potato chips, too. I would not be remotely offended if someone served cake, ice cream, and nothing else at a kids' party, unless the party was over a standard meal time (11-1 ish, or 5-7 ish). In which case, I think it's only considerate to serve a meal. There is more than one way to be hospitable; it does not require serving a full meal at 2:00 in the afternoon.

Totally depended on the party. 2-4. Yep, cake, ice cream, and generally chips. 4-6. Pizza. Always pizza, soda, chips, cake, and ice cream.

Of course, my 3 year old b-day party 30 years ago was a a drop off party and people always used to open gifts, so perhaps not feeding people at meal times is another new thing. Some notice if you aren't serving a meal when your party is from 11-1 would be nice though as I think no one would think to feed their kid lunch at 10 am before attending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else have a birthday party in the 1980s? Every party included cake, ice cream, and a drink (Kool-Aid or something similar). Nobody expected a full meal or even snacks. They were at somebody's house, with maybe 10 invited kids; parents dropped us off. It was fun. Obviously times have changed, but when? How? When did people decide that when they're invited to a party they E should EXPECT certain things?

THIS.

If the party isn't happening over a meal time, why would you expect more than cake and ice cream? Your kids have been invited to celebrate with my kid.. not so everyone can eat. In MY life, we have stopped having everything revolve around food. DS, DH and I are all struggling with our weight. Yeah, we could serve veggies but someone would bitch because a) prince or princess doesn't like veggies and B) there's no protein. The fact is that we are trying to get it through our own heads that every gathering doesn't need to involve food.