Any other moms out just not order when you eat with your family?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

NP here.
No, I get what that pp is saying, because my husband does a variation of it.
The server will ask if we want desser and I say "Yes, I'd like the cheesecake" and he says "No, I'll just have some of hers" (meaning mine)

WTH? No. I don't like the assumption that I'm willing to share the cheesecake (especially he always ends up eating most of it.)
The last time he did that (told the server he'd just have some of my dessert) I promptly asked the server to please bring me a slice of cheesecake AND a creme brulee.

this is off topic, but no grown adult really needs to eat an entire slice of cake to themselves. that is just unhealthy.

Nobody “needs” a slice of cake, but if an adult wants the occasional slice of cake to herself, there’s nothing wrong with that.

If they 🤮 after, of course

Or if they just want it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really when we eat out but I do this when we go to friends houses. My husband eats enough for 4 people so I try to balance it out by eating less. It’s embarrassing and he’s so used to gorging every meal he doesn’t get how rude it is to eat so much as a guest.

That's completely unfair to you. One has nothing to do with the other. If you had two teens, would you expect the girl to eat less because the boy has a voracious appetite? Besides, in many cultures, the host would be thrilled that your husband liked their food so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is so funny. I've read so many posts that are - "I make almost $200,000 but my DH is the real breadwinner at $500,000...."

Then around Christmas, people will post about getting their kids 4 things (one of which is a book and another is pajamas or something equally dull).

And now, it's, "We order 1 entree and a side for the family to share."

Hahaha +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is so funny. I've read so many posts that are - "I make almost $200,000 but my DH is the real breadwinner at $500,000...."

Then around Christmas, people will post about getting their kids 4 things (one of which is a book and another is pajamas or something equally dull).

And now, it's, "We order 1 entree and a side for the family to share."

Yep, that's because people are bored liars here. They also like to insult people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think people are triggered maybe because they feel somehow attacked by someone saving money in this way or feeling like food waste is 'wrong'.

not over ordering is very european. Americans have much larger portions and less anxiety overall about food waste. i think american culture is very defensive over the idea that you should be able to eat whatever you want/ eat large amounts, but in a lot of cultures having leftover food at the end of the meal is poor planning.

in most places in europe, they'd look at you aghast if you asked for food in a doggy bag. it's just not done there. bc their portions are much smaller to begin with and it's just culturally different.

it's reasonable for someone to feel uncomfortable spending money on food that they dont need to eat during that meal. and also reasonable for someone to prefer to know they are getting what they want. restaurants have become very expensive and typically portion sizes ARE too large.

I don’t care who would be “aghast” if I decided not to put food I didn’t want to eat then and there in my mouth and take it home. I’m not going to waste the environmental resources it took to make that meal, especially animal products, and I’m not going to stuff myself or leave behind perfectly good food. Europeans can be “aghast” all they want. I think it’s rude to the planet to be wasteful, and I’m not going to do it in the age of refrigeration. I’m also going to save money by not overeating or wasting food.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:DCUM is so funny. I've read so many posts that are - "I make almost $200,000 but my DH is the real breadwinner at $500,000...."

Then around Christmas, people will post about getting their kids 4 things (one of which is a book and another is pajamas or something equally dull).

And now, it's, "We order 1 entree and a side for the family to share."

Hahaha +1

If people actually did that they would say bc they are fit and healthy not bc it was breaking the budget, wasteful, or excessive. People like OP are hungry and purposely martyring themselves. Not almond moms.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.

The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?

So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?

No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.

Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.

It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.

I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…

What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?

NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.

It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.

It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.

Gnocchi with brown sage butter is very yummy but certainly not ‘good for you’ or even better for you than someone’s discarded cheeseburger piece. Hilarious but true

What’s “hilarious” is you thinking that preservative-filled, ultra-processed, sodium-laden chicken tenders or a Sysco burger are “better” for you than house-made, fresh gnocchi. Not everything is about calories, you know. Freshly made food vs. processed frozen Sysco crap. And you think the cheeseburger is healthier? LOL.

NP. To be fair, the kind of place that serves house made gnocchi is not the same place that serves Sysco burgers. If you get a burger at the gnocchi place it’s probably quality meat.

I get it, you’ve never worked at a restaurant. I have. An Italian restaurant serving freshly made gnocchi focuses on Italian fare and adult palates. They have a kids menu as a courtesy. And no, kid burgers and fries are not fresh, they are coming off the Sysco truck. No, they don’t freshly bread chicken tenders. Those are frozen, dear. So are the fries.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.

The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?

So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?

No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.

Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.

It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.

I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…

What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?

NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.

It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.

It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.

But what I really want is to make sure all the food I paid for gets eaten. And I like cheeseburgers and chicken tenders. So it’s a win win for me. Smart, savvy, satisfied.

Then why don’t you save the food for the next day’s lunch, for the kids or for you? Then you can have a meal that maybe has some fresh greens, some vegetables, and some kind of care in preparation beyond quickly heating up something off the Sysco truck? If you’re going to pay a mark-up for food, your kids might as well enjoy it twice.

So you’ve never been an adventurous eater? If not, I guess this is a great way to cover up for pickiness as an adult…

I have tried this a thousand times and we are lucky if 1/3rd of the leftovers get eaten in my family.

Then why don’t YOU eat the scraps at home for lunch? That way you can enjoy a nice restaurant meal like a big girl, and then there will be no food waste when you eat your Sysco nuggies in the privacy of your own home the next day.

[Anonymous]

Nope, but I don't have an eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, when mine were little I'd sometimes get meals to share but no, that's silly. Get your kids kids meals or have them share.

op - where we live there are very few kid meal type restaurants, and everything is super expensive.

Sure. There are only expensive places around you. You are so fancy.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable?

Um, literally her post just a few back where she says she TELLS (not asks) them that she is going to eat their food, and they say no, then she does it anyway. And they have no choice but leave some for her because Mommy Has No Food.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, when mine were little I'd sometimes get meals to share but no, that's silly. Get your kids kids meals or have them share.

op - where we live there are very few kid meal type restaurants, and everything is super expensive.

Sure. There are only expensive places around you. You are so fancy.

But somehow these fancy places do serve chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers but only in adult portions which the child eats most of, leaving scraps for mom. Strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is so funny. I've read so many posts that are - "I make almost $200,000 but my DH is the real breadwinner at $500,000...."

Then around Christmas, people will post about getting their kids 4 things (one of which is a book and another is pajamas or something equally dull).

And now, it's, "We order 1 entree and a side for the family to share."

Very true, but there are a lot of DIRT cheap rich people/high earners and I feel like OP is one of them. “Don’t like food waste” = everyone should order only exactly what they can comfortably eat and there should be zero leftovers due to over ordering or just wanting to “try” something. They also have a house full of stuff because you never throw anything away.

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Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.

The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?

So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?

No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.

Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.

It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.

I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…

What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?

NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.

It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.

It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.

Gnocchi with brown sage butter is very yummy but certainly not ‘good for you’ or even better for you than someone’s discarded cheeseburger piece. Hilarious but true

What’s “hilarious” is you thinking that preservative-filled, ultra-processed, sodium-laden chicken tenders or a Sysco burger are “better” for you than house-made, fresh gnocchi. Not everything is about calories, you know. Freshly made food vs. processed frozen Sysco crap. And you think the cheeseburger is healthier? LOL.

NP. To be fair, the kind of place that serves house made gnocchi is not the same place that serves Sysco burgers. If you get a burger at the gnocchi place it’s probably quality meat.

I get it, you’ve never worked at a restaurant. I have. An Italian restaurant serving freshly made gnocchi focuses on Italian fare and adult palates. They have a kids menu as a courtesy. And no, kid burgers and fries are not fresh, they are coming off the Sysco truck. No, they don’t freshly bread chicken tenders. Those are frozen, dear. So are the fries.

I have worked at restaurants, and no, a good one isn’t ordering anything from Sysco. Guess you worked at a mid place.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You know the kind of people who when their two adult children come home to visit with their two spouses and six kids total, think that 8 bagels are plenty for brunch? (Two bagel per family, everyone gets 1/3-1/2 a bagel which should be PLENTY because in this family we are FRUGAL and do not WASTE FOOD.) The only sound during the brunch is the scrape-scrape of the butter knife adding slivers of margarine in infinitesimal amounts to the family bagel thin.

The next and final meal is dinner, served at 7:30 pm despite 75% of the family being under the age of 5. It's 1 chicken drumstick each, a smattering of peas, and half a Grand's Biscuit that was previously baked and frozen and has just been defrosted for this special occasion. Dessert is freezer burned ice cream sandwiches from last summer even though we are well into march by now.

Anyway, now we know what these people do when they go out to eat.

sounds like you have beef with one very specific individual and maybe should just not go to their house any more?

This is very common - there have been multiple threads in family relationships about older relatives who do not provide enough food when someone visits.

right but you mention very specific circs and seem really mad about it.

No I didn’t, I’m not the one who posted the original comment you responded to. Try to keep up.