Any other moms out just not order when you eat with your family?

[Anonymous]

My DH does this sometimes. He claims he doesn't really care what he'll eat, and he knows that one of the kids won't like their food or won't be able to finish it. He does not pick off French fries from people's plates unless invited, though. I don't think the kids care, in fact, my DD feels less stressed about choosing what to order.

HOWEVER, we do make sure there will be enough food for all of us. And we have been eating out less recently. Mostly we eat out while traveling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do this a lot now. My kids are older, and I never have any idea how much they will eat. Food's gotten so expensive, and my family doesn't do well eating leftovers. For four people I'll order three entrees and wait to see how hungry people are.

I think that's fine if you make it clear when ordering like "we're going to order these 3 things to share" and not let everyone order and one person is at everyone else's whim. My DH and I often order 1 entree and 2 sides to share or a couple of small plates and no entree but we make it clear its to be shared and they often split things onto separate plates for us without us asking which is nice.

This thread is eye-opening. Where is this happening? I've never seen 4 people eating one entree. Even with two sides. (Unless we're at a tapas place with plates to share.)

Are you doing this with girlfriends too? Why in the world would you pay for children to eat out if you deny yourselves? I feel like this must bleed into other things. Not paying for massages for you, but sports for kids. Etc.

You’ve never shared Chinese food?

Are you always willfully obtuse? I mentioned tapas, didn't I? That's not what OP is talking about, and many pp's mentioned eating literal scraps.

You quoted me. Sorry you don’t know how to order family style and share with family or friends. Thai, Chinese, italian, small plates, etc. not every place is like Applebees. Everyone doesn’t need their own entree some things are for the table to share.

Doubling down on your idiocy. This isn't a post about family-style restaurants. If that's what you truly meant, you should have specified it, but I think you doth protest too much. Who's talking about Applebees?! If you're eating out in DCUMlandia, you're going to actual restaurants.

You are extremely dumb and angry. Read before you quote. I never even mentioned kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think people are triggered maybe because they feel somehow attacked by someone saving money in this way or feeling like food waste is 'wrong'.

not over ordering is very european. Americans have much larger portions and less anxiety overall about food waste. i think american culture is very defensive over the idea that you should be able to eat whatever you want/ eat large amounts, but in a lot of cultures having leftover food at the end of the meal is poor planning.

in most places in europe, they'd look at you aghast if you asked for food in a doggy bag. it's just not done there. bc their portions are much smaller to begin with and it's just culturally different.

it's reasonable for someone to feel uncomfortable spending money on food that they dont need to eat during that meal. and also reasonable for someone to prefer to know they are getting what they want. restaurants have become very expensive and typically portion sizes ARE too large.

It is definitely not "very european" to go to a restaurant, sit down, and not order anything to eat. In fact, Europeans are more likely to tell you that if you're not ordering food you need to leave, and not take up a space at their table.

[Anonymous]

What a weird thread. When I go out to eat, I either order something for my child that I can eat (In addition to my own meal- I'm gluten free - she is not) and then if there are leftovers, either of us can eat them later or if I order something for her that only she can eat - her leftovers go with her for lunch the next day. 2 people, 2 meals, minimal waste.

Of course it's a lot cheaper not eating out but if I do - I AM going to enjoy it not sacrifice myself to my child's tastes.

[Anonymous]

Not really when we eat out but I do this when we go to friends houses. My husband eats enough for 4 people so I try to balance it out by eating less. It’s embarrassing and he’s so used to gorging every meal he doesn’t get how rude it is to eat so much as a guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really when we eat out but I do this when we go to friends houses. My husband eats enough for 4 people so I try to balance it out by eating less. It’s embarrassing and he’s so used to gorging every meal he doesn’t get how rude it is to eat so much as a guest.

Maybe you should try saying something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

NP here.
No, I get what that pp is saying, because my husband does a variation of it.
The server will ask if we want desser and I say "Yes, I'd like the cheesecake" and he says "No, I'll just have some of hers" (meaning mine)

WTH? No. I don't like the assumption that I'm willing to share the cheesecake (especially he always ends up eating most of it.)
The last time he did that (told the server he'd just have some of my dessert) I promptly asked the server to please bring me a slice of cheesecake AND a creme brulee.

this is off topic, but no grown adult really needs to eat an entire slice of cake to themselves. that is just unhealthy.

I assume PP is overweight and her husband is trying to keep her from eating an 800 calorie slice of cake after her 2000 calorie meal without hurting her feelings…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do this a lot now. My kids are older, and I never have any idea how much they will eat. Food's gotten so expensive, and my family doesn't do well eating leftovers. For four people I'll order three entrees and wait to see how hungry people are.

I think that's fine if you make it clear when ordering like "we're going to order these 3 things to share" and not let everyone order and one person is at everyone else's whim. My DH and I often order 1 entree and 2 sides to share or a couple of small plates and no entree but we make it clear its to be shared and they often split things onto separate plates for us without us asking which is nice.

This thread is eye-opening. Where is this happening? I've never seen 4 people eating one entree. Even with two sides. (Unless we're at a tapas place with plates to share.)

Are you doing this with girlfriends too? Why in the world would you pay for children to eat out if you deny yourselves? I feel like this must bleed into other things. Not paying for massages for you, but sports for kids. Etc.

WTH? Obviously I put my kids sports and activities first before I indulge myself with expensive, frivolous nonsense. You know, like a GOOD parent does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

NP here.
No, I get what that pp is saying, because my husband does a variation of it.
The server will ask if we want desser and I say "Yes, I'd like the cheesecake" and he says "No, I'll just have some of hers" (meaning mine)

WTH? No. I don't like the assumption that I'm willing to share the cheesecake (especially he always ends up eating most of it.)
The last time he did that (told the server he'd just have some of my dessert) I promptly asked the server to please bring me a slice of cheesecake AND a creme brulee.

this is off topic, but no grown adult really needs to eat an entire slice of cake to themselves. that is just unhealthy.

Nobody “needs” a slice of cake, but if an adult wants the occasional slice of cake to herself, there’s nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

NP here.
No, I get what that pp is saying, because my husband does a variation of it.
The server will ask if we want desser and I say "Yes, I'd like the cheesecake" and he says "No, I'll just have some of hers" (meaning mine)

WTH? No. I don't like the assumption that I'm willing to share the cheesecake (especially he always ends up eating most of it.)
The last time he did that (told the server he'd just have some of my dessert) I promptly asked the server to please bring me a slice of cheesecake AND a creme brulee.

this is off topic, but no grown adult really needs to eat an entire slice of cake to themselves. that is just unhealthy.

I assume PP is overweight and her husband is trying to keep her from eating an 800 calorie slice of cake after her 2000 calorie meal without hurting her feelings…

You assume wrong.

[Anonymous]

DCUM is so funny. I've read so many posts that are - "I make almost $200,000 but my DH is the real breadwinner at $500,000...."

Then around Christmas, people will post about getting their kids 4 things (one of which is a book and another is pajamas or something equally dull).

And now, it's, "We order 1 entree and a side for the family to share."

[Anonymous]

Yes! OMG. I thought it was just me. I tell my friends the mice that I barely ate anything but left my shoe behind. And the Ugly Sisters by which I mean my family, ate it all

I’m hangry but my Prince shall come and bring my shoe back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really when we eat out but I do this when we go to friends houses. My husband eats enough for 4 people so I try to balance it out by eating less. It’s embarrassing and he’s so used to gorging every meal he doesn’t get how rude it is to eat so much as a guest.

You husband is seriously lacking in social skills. And basic manners. And self control.

[Anonymous]

Just order, OP. Be polite and bulimic. Like the rest of us, dahling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

NP here.
No, I get what that pp is saying, because my husband does a variation of it.
The server will ask if we want desser and I say "Yes, I'd like the cheesecake" and he says "No, I'll just have some of hers" (meaning mine)

WTH? No. I don't like the assumption that I'm willing to share the cheesecake (especially he always ends up eating most of it.)
The last time he did that (told the server he'd just have some of my dessert) I promptly asked the server to please bring me a slice of cheesecake AND a creme brulee.

this is off topic, but no grown adult really needs to eat an entire slice of cake to themselves. that is just unhealthy.

Nobody “needs” a slice of cake, but if an adult wants the occasional slice of cake to herself, there’s nothing wrong with that.

If they 🤮 after, of course