St. Ann’s (NYC) - Private School Horror Show

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I already answered this, you just don't agree, which is fine. Also, because based on my experience, it is recommended by the neuropsych. You don't just get one eval that is accurate and up to date for the remainder of a child's life.


And your experience should be everyone’s? Got it.

Can I guarantee that their neuropsych was not an outlier or negligent. No. However, as to what standard practice is, google is your friend.

I don’t use Google for medical assessments and I don’t presume my experience is representative of everyone’s, and that doctors that may do something different than my individual experience are “outliers” or “negligent,” so unfortunately I will just have to remain unconvinced by you. I also read the actual words of the article, not something I’m super positive must be true in my own head even if not referenced at all in the article.

The parents used a neuropsych evaluator who was recommended by the school. I mean, there was already a bit of a conflict of interest there (in favor of the school) and the evaluator told the parents that he should remain in St Anne's with supports. And, TBH, I'm going to take the word of the trained pediatric psychological evaluator over the word of the lower school headmaster who is just looking to make his own life easier and maybe open up a seat for a wealthy family.

I don't trust administrators, and neither should you. They have their own cut-throat set of incentives that often do not align with what's best for your family.

Read what you wrote. You are going to insist your child stay at a school that is telling you they cannot meet your child's needs. Dyslexia needs lots of support early on. Clearly you don't have a child with challenges or you'd know that your comments are the absolute worst thing you can do for your child.

DP. I have a child with severe dyslexia and if the neuropsych recommended staying, and the school is wishy-washy and is not giving clear guidance, I would stay too.

It is not at all clear based on the article that the school ever crisply and clearly stated that they could not meet the child’s needs. And, they kept on offering the child a spot, year after year. Meanwhile the neuropsych recommended staying.

It makes sense to me and seems like a rational decision.

This is fascinating to me. I have two children with dyslexia and I pulled each child out each time after first diagnosis by a neuropsychologist even when their school was still saying there was no problem and that they could meet their needs. “Regular” schools do not know dyslexia very well and I felt like they were giving me lip service. I was like, “We’re out of here and we are going to the experts. I am not pussy-footing around with my children’s lives. They blu have one chance to go through these elementary school years.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I already answered this, you just don't agree, which is fine. Also, because based on my experience, it is recommended by the neuropsych. You don't just get one eval that is accurate and up to date for the remainder of a child's life.


And your experience should be everyone’s? Got it.

Can I guarantee that their neuropsych was not an outlier or negligent. No. However, as to what standard practice is, google is your friend.

I don’t use Google for medical assessments and I don’t presume my experience is representative of everyone’s, and that doctors that may do something different than my individual experience are “outliers” or “negligent,” so unfortunately I will just have to remain unconvinced by you. I also read the actual words of the article, not something I’m super positive must be true in my own head even if not referenced at all in the article.

The parents used a neuropsych evaluator who was recommended by the school. I mean, there was already a bit of a conflict of interest there (in favor of the school) and the evaluator told the parents that he should remain in St Anne's with supports. And, TBH, I'm going to take the word of the trained pediatric psychological evaluator over the word of the lower school headmaster who is just looking to make his own life easier and maybe open up a seat for a wealthy family.

I don't trust administrators, and neither should you. They have their own cut-throat set of incentives that often do not align with what's best for your family.

Read what you wrote. You are going to insist your child stay at a school that is telling you they cannot meet your child's needs. Dyslexia needs lots of support early on. Clearly you don't have a child with challenges or you'd know that your comments are the absolute worst thing you can do for your child.

DP. I have a child with severe dyslexia and if the neuropsych recommended staying, and the school is wishy-washy and is not giving clear guidance, I would stay too.

It is not at all clear based on the article that the school ever crisply and clearly stated that they could not meet the child’s needs. And, they kept on offering the child a spot, year after year. Meanwhile the neuropsych recommended staying.

It makes sense to me and seems like a rational decision.

This is fascinating to me. I have two children with dyslexia and I pulled each child out each time after first diagnosis by a neuropsychologist even when their school was still saying there was no problem and that they could meet their needs. “Regular” schools do not know dyslexia very well and I felt like they were giving me lip service. I was like, “We’re out of here and we are going to the experts. I am not pussy-footing around with my children’s lives. They blu have one chance to go through these elementary school years.”

+ 1 million. These prestigious, progressive schools don’t know what they don’t know. I am also so glad I pulled my dyslexic kid out of one of these STAT! They will keep telling you everything is fine until it isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like a tragic case of misplaced grief. The school is damned if they do/don’t. If they kept him on and he starts failing all classes he’s obviously going to struggle mentally as well. I think the parents feel massive guilt and need to find someone to blame. It’s a tragic situation but I dont think a school can be expected to convert itself to one that caters to special needs because of a single student. There are multiple privates that support kids with learning disabilities that he could have thrived at.

Except public schools manage to teach kids with learning disabilities with fewer resources than St Ann's has. The school doesn't have to convert itself but it may have to make some changes to the way it approaches teaching for some kids to meet their needs. If the school doesn't want to do that, fine. But the school's choices definitely seem inconsistent with the way it brands itself as "getting under the table with the kid."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I already answered this, you just don't agree, which is fine. Also, because based on my experience, it is recommended by the neuropsych. You don't just get one eval that is accurate and up to date for the remainder of a child's life.


And your experience should be everyone’s? Got it.

Can I guarantee that their neuropsych was not an outlier or negligent. No. However, as to what standard practice is, google is your friend.

I don’t use Google for medical assessments and I don’t presume my experience is representative of everyone’s, and that doctors that may do something different than my individual experience are “outliers” or “negligent,” so unfortunately I will just have to remain unconvinced by you. I also read the actual words of the article, not something I’m super positive must be true in my own head even if not referenced at all in the article.

The parents used a neuropsych evaluator who was recommended by the school. I mean, there was already a bit of a conflict of interest there (in favor of the school) and the evaluator told the parents that he should remain in St Anne's with supports. And, TBH, I'm going to take the word of the trained pediatric psychological evaluator over the word of the lower school headmaster who is just looking to make his own life easier and maybe open up a seat for a wealthy family.

I don't trust administrators, and neither should you. They have their own cut-throat set of incentives that often do not align with what's best for your family.

Read what you wrote. You are going to insist your child stay at a school that is telling you they cannot meet your child's needs. Dyslexia needs lots of support early on. Clearly you don't have a child with challenges or you'd know that your comments are the absolute worst thing you can do for your child.

DP. I have a child with severe dyslexia and if the neuropsych recommended staying, and the school is wishy-washy and is not giving clear guidance, I would stay too.

It is not at all clear based on the article that the school ever crisply and clearly stated that they could not meet the child’s needs. And, they kept on offering the child a spot, year after year. Meanwhile the neuropsych recommended staying.

It makes sense to me and seems like a rational decision.

This is fascinating to me. I have two children with dyslexia and I pulled each child out each time after first diagnosis by a neuropsychologist even when their school was still saying there was no problem and that they could meet their needs. “Regular” schools do not know dyslexia very well and I felt like they were giving me lip service. I was like, “We’re out of here and we are going to the experts. I am not pussy-footing around with my children’s lives. They blu have one chance to go through these elementary school years.”

Not the PP you are responding to, but wondering if “This is fascinating to me” followed by all the ways you believe you are the superior parent is just a passive aggressive way of saying “You are a terrible parent.” Seems quite nasty to me, which makes me question the rest of your judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like a tragic case of misplaced grief. The school is damned if they do/don’t. If they kept him on and he starts failing all classes he’s obviously going to struggle mentally as well. I think the parents feel massive guilt and need to find someone to blame. It’s a tragic situation but I dont think a school can be expected to convert itself to one that caters to special needs because of a single student. There are multiple privates that support kids with learning disabilities that he could have thrived at.

Except public schools manage to teach kids with learning disabilities with fewer resources than St Ann's has. The school doesn't have to convert itself but it may have to make some changes to the way it approaches teaching for some kids to meet their needs. If the school doesn't want to do that, fine. But the school's choices definitely seem inconsistent with the way it brands itself as "getting under the table with the kid."

Maybe some public schools manage to teach kids with learning disabilities. My kids’ public school certainly didn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think counseling out a kid who has been their for years, with sib enrolled, who doesn’t have behavioral issues, is a real sh*t move for a school — unless it is truly focused on high academic achievement and rigor — which face it, most privates are not.

Unless they genuinely believed he would be better served at another school with the supports he needed?

If this child was already behind academically then he's only going to struggle in HS. He clearly would be better served at a different school that could meet his mental health and learning disabilities.

This. My guess is that whatever the mental health issue was that led him to Jill himself is what the school spotted; they realized he could not take the pressure or environment and would be better served elsewhere. Catch-22 for a kid who feels the stigma and wants to stay.

[Anonymous]

I was friends with him, I’m in the grade under and go to this school. He seemed slightly abnormal but not rlly depressed, he became distant in 2022 and late 2021 right before he died, but we weren’t that close tbh. His best friend is prolly shooken up cuz he moved schools at the start of the year where my friend ended his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was friends with him, I’m in the grade under and go to this school. He seemed slightly abnormal but not rlly depressed, he became distant in 2022 and late 2021 right before he died, but we weren’t that close tbh. His best friend is prolly shooken up cuz he moved schools at the start of the year where my friend ended his life.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

You can read all of his reports, as well as interviews with some of his teachers in this lawsuit filing.

It is horrible -- the argument is that they needed to counsel out a white kid to balance the black kid they were getting rid of.

https://iapps.courts.state.ny.us/nyscef/ViewDocument?docIndex=uqIGOBlBSB15xgak1wF_PLUS_PQ==

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can read all of his reports, as well as interviews with some of his teachers in this lawsuit filing.

It is horrible -- the argument is that they needed to counsel out a white kid to balance the black kid they were getting rid of.

https://iapps.courts.state.ny.us/nyscef/ViewDocument?docIndex=uqIGOBlBSB15xgak1wF_PLUS_PQ==

Looks like one teacher speculated that. I don't know how they could ever prove such a thing in court.