Please don’t let your children eat common allergens while playing on public playground equipment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. You have to learn to be ruthless. As you can see, these people don’t care about your kid. They don’t care or she lives or dies. They only care about their child and their comfort.

So what do I do? Grab the snack and throw it out. I don’t care if I make an enemy out of every parent and nanny in the park. You will have to learn to aggressively put your child first because everyone around them won’t ever.

Let them be angry. My child’s right to life is more important than your kids snack.

Wouldn't this be assault ? I would pay to see you tearing a PN&J sandwich from a child and the child screaming and the mother attacking you.

It is your responsibility to keep your child safe and if it's a food allergy, you teach them extreme safety measures. You cannot realistically expect children at a playground to not eat peanuts or derivative thereof.

No. No “tearing” involved. No, taking a snack is not “assault.” You DCUM moms are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the obsession with snacks at the playground; can't kids live without having snacks around 24-7? Plus, the playground years are so fleeting, not worth freaking out about the concept of eating at home for those years.

No. Their spoiled moms must carry the child’s feeding trough on them at all times or they will simply fade away to nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here, also with a child with both anaphylactic nut allergy and a hard time gaining weight.

OP you have to do the work yourself, and I’m sorry. Parents—particularly mothers— have very full plates and they can’t take any of your burden onto themselves. But you can find ways to help people help you.

I always go to the park or library with a loaded bag— epis and Benadryl yes but ALSO spare, protein heavy, nice snacks. Horizon makes yogurt pouches, for example. It is much, much easier to approach a parent who is giving her kid a larabar (my child is allergic to cashew) and ask if she wouldn’t mind putting it away when I can *also* show that I realize having a hangry or hypoglycemic kid is a burden for her that *I* have thought of by offering something else. You have to come out of yourself a little bit and it’s so hard because you’re worried about your baby, but the way you’re going to find your people is to show that you care about other babies as well. Hang in there it will get easier!

(And, make sure you’re seeing an allergist who is aggressive on treating allergies— we went from 3 life threatening allergens to 2 which was HUGE for our quality of life)

This excuse won’t be true in this situation no matter how many times you retype it. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't wash my child's hands after eating. Wipe on a napkin, or realistically your pants or mine, and off you go.

Just an FYI, the equipment is really never cleaned so it is also covered in bird feces, squirrel and rodent schmutz, probably some fox and raccoon poop in the mulch. Probably some mold in the wood.

Neat. Irrelevant to this life-threatening anaphylactic allergy, but neat. Just an FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't wash my child's hands after eating. Wipe on a napkin, or realistically your pants or mine, and off you go.

Just an FYI, the equipment is really never cleaned so it is also covered in bird feces, squirrel and rodent schmutz, probably some fox and raccoon poop in the mulch. Probably some mold in the wood.

Very good points.

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until your child gets to elementary school, high school, college and the work world. Are you going to tell your child’s roommates they can’t eat almonds?

NP: If my child didn't respond to that situation with "okay, just tell me what I need to do to help you stay safe" I would feel that I failed as a parent.

Yeah, my 5th grader no longer brings PB sandwiches or snacks to school for the safety of her classmates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait until your child gets to elementary school, high school, college and the work world. Are you going to tell your child’s roommates they can’t eat almonds?

You're not even from DC or the DC area... why are you even on this message board? 🧐

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't wash my child's hands after eating. Wipe on a napkin, or realistically your pants or mine, and off you go.

Just an FYI, the equipment is really never cleaned so it is also covered in bird feces, squirrel and rodent schmutz, probably some fox and raccoon poop in the mulch. Probably some mold in the wood.

Neat. Irrelevant to this life-threatening anaphylactic allergy, but neat. Just an FYI.

This. My kid is in the same allergy boat and she's never gotten triggered by contact with other kids, it's always the nasty equipment. You have to decide for yourself if playing at the park is worth it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

PP here. Of course my kid washes or sanitizes her hands at the playground after eating. And just in general. Of course we do this. But that is actually not what OP is asking.

She is asking me to be vigilant about it, as though to assume that any child at the playground could have a severe allergy that could kill them if my child's food somehow got onto playground equipment. She is asking me to avoid bringing these foods to the playground at all, or if I do, to be very careful about only consuming them away from the equipment and then making sure that my child has no residue on her hands before playing. She is asking for a level of care and vigilance that I am simply not capable.

I sometimes forget to have my kid use a wipe or sanitizer after she eats. Usually I remember, sometimes I don't. Kids are all over the place. In many cases, I've just spent the previous 15-20 minutes going through a routine we learned from our OT for her ARFID that is supposed to help her relax around foods and try a new food or an old food in a new way. I am expending a lot of my focus on that and sometimes I might forget to get the sanitizer or hand her a wipe.

Also, she's 6, so she wipes her hands at varying levels of competence. Sometimes I supervise and will note that she didn't get it all, but I miss things. I am an imperfect person with my hands full. And my own child does not have a nut allergy, she has a different but seriously difficult issue with eating and I am focused on dealing with that. Also, maybe something gets on her clothes an I miss that. I miss things, I am flawed, I am at the playground not in an operating theater.

If another parent approached me at the playground and said "Hi, my son has a serious peanut allergy and I would love if you could make sure to eat any tree nuts in another part of the play area and also to make sure your child washes her hands thoroughly before getting on the equipment?" I'd say "oh, of course, happy to" and then I would be extra vigilant that day and make sure my DD knows that we need to be careful around this kid because of the allergy. The same way I never send anything with peanuts to school because of allergies there.

But I cannot be that vigilant all the time. It's too hard and I have too much other stuff on my plate. I'm sorry. I really am.

You made OP's kid's situation all about you and the stuff on your plate. We get it, life is hard with a kid who has a condition. I think OP knows a lot about that too. But you aren't seeing that if OP has to stop and ask ask ask ask every parent on a playground please to wipe kids' hands etc., well, her kid's playtime is over by the time she's approached everyone individually. She's not aiming this just at YOU. She's saying she sees multiple kids eating on equipment very frequently, so her plea is a broader one to parents in general to stop that. I"m sure all those parents will say "I cannot be that vigilant all the time" and like you will be nice if asked, but you don't see that the constant asking is as wearing for a parent like OP as focusing on your kid's issues is wearing on you.

No, you're not getting it.

I know OP's problems aren't about me, anymore than my problems are about her. My point is: we all have problems, and what OP is asking is for me to prioritize her problems. And I'm not even saying I don't want to. I'm saying I can't. I am at capacity. I am not capable of taking the level of care OP is requesting in order to ensure that her child is safe. It is beyond me, not because I don't care, but because I am incapable of caring to the degree that she needs me to, because I have my hands full taking care of my own problems.

She is asking the impossible.

Yes, you are. You really are. It’s a very simple, small ask. It’s not that you “can’t.” You’re just refusing, like a toddler.

NP

So you really think it’s appropriate to ask a mom who clearly has her hands full dealing with her own family to remember to actively change her behavior concerning nuts because they might possibly come into contact with someone who has a severe nut allergy?

I know you’ll never admit it, but that is not a reasonable ask. At all.

It absolutely IS a reasonable ask, ARFID mom writing multiple multi-paragraph self-pitying posts doesn’t change it (“I’m sooooooo overwheeeeelned that my kids can’t eat their peanut butter sandwich at home before going to the playground) and ridiculous “my kids simply MUST eat their peanut butter at the park and not before we go to the playground. It’s a tradition!” mom notwithstanding.

I’m another parent of a highly nut-allergic child and I disagree. It’s not a “reasonable” ask, but it’s an ask we can make, in person, when our children are in danger. We have no way to expect people to adhere to our request and we will find better willingness to take our challenges into account if we approach the ask with an understanding that we’re creating challenges for others.

Your lack of empathy for any difficulties other than your own is how children wind up raised without any consideration for others, not the busy mom who wants to make sure her kids get an extra hour or two outside but would be perfectly happy to give them a different sandwich next time if you approach her with kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. You have to learn to be ruthless. As you can see, these people don’t care about your kid. They don’t care or she lives or dies. They only care about their child and their comfort.

So what do I do? Grab the snack and throw it out. I don’t care if I make an enemy out of every parent and nanny in the park. You will have to learn to aggressively put your child first because everyone around them won’t ever.

Let them be angry. My child’s right to life is more important than your kids snack.

Wouldn't this be assault ? I would pay to see you tearing a PN&J sandwich from a child and the child screaming and the mother attacking you.

It is your responsibility to keep your child safe and if it's a food allergy, you teach them extreme safety measures. You cannot realistically expect children at a playground to not eat peanuts or derivative thereof.

You don’t “take” a snack you didn’t pay for dumbass.

No. No “tearing” involved. No, taking a snack is not “assault.” You DCUM moms are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until your child gets to elementary school, high school, college and the work world. Are you going to tell your child’s roommates they can’t eat almonds?

You're not even from DC or the DC area... why are you even on this message board? 🧐

How could you possibly know where a poster on here is from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the obsession with snacks at the playground; can't kids live without having snacks around 24-7? Plus, the playground years are so fleeting, not worth freaking out about the concept of eating at home for those years.

No. Their spoiled moms must carry the child’s feeding trough on them at all times or they will simply fade away to nothing.

Acting like a jackass isn’t going to win people over to your side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the obsession with snacks at the playground; can't kids live without having snacks around 24-7? Plus, the playground years are so fleeting, not worth freaking out about the concept of eating at home for those years.

No. Their spoiled moms must carry the child’s feeding trough on them at all times or they will simply fade away to nothing.

I am pretty anti-snack and I caved to the peer pressure recently. I felt bad being the only mom without snacks and my kid would end up being offered snacks by friends. Felt like my mom friends thought I was mooching off their snack supply.

[Anonymous]

I’m sure this thread is crazy. Not going to read.

My peanut allergic child is doing Palforzia. It’s life changing. Look into it OP. It’s gone really well for us.

You can’t expect the world to adapt. Whether they should or not is beside the point. It’s not happening. Plan accordingly.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the obsession with snacks at the playground; can't kids live without having snacks around 24-7? Plus, the playground years are so fleeting, not worth freaking out about the concept of eating at home for those years.

No. Their spoiled moms must carry the child’s feeding trough on them at all times or they will simply fade away to nothing.

I am pretty anti-snack and I caved to the peer pressure recently. I felt bad being the only mom without snacks and my kid would end up being offered snacks by friends. Felt like my mom friends thought I was mooching off their snack supply.

Ugh. Yes. You become the mean controlling parent if your child is the only one without snacks and then you tell them they can’t have some of their friends’ either.