Why Was My Son Deferred from Duke ED?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a white male from this area? If so, he's a dime a dozen. It's a bummer but it sounds like he has a lot of good choices.

That was my first thought too. "Is he a white preppy boy?" They've already got those.

Well my AA son with the same and even more states also did not get in last year. He did, however, get into Northwestern, Berkeley and a great crop of others. It is what it is. On to the next.

Really helpful if people would look at the trend of YouTube videos where current college students petition to look at their admission files. The reasons they thought they got in NEVER match why they got in. In fact, all the but the VERY best 5% of students are often stunned at how mediocre admission people thought they were. It's eye-opening and blows everything that people talk about on these posts out of the water. It's luck --period. Black, white, smart, whatever. It's luck.

Well it's not just getting into these places but getting out. Everyone carries on about the hardest part of elite college is getting in but that is not really the case. These places are full of aggressive academic machines and it is really hard to do well. The environment can be pretty brutal and they need candidates that can thrive in that

100%. Sometimes not getting in can be a blessing in disguise for certain individuals. OP, by going to UNC your son can avoid the difficult competition of hundreds of valedictorians and perfect scorers competing for the same grades and opportunities at Duke. That could end up helping your son stand out!

If a student is aggressive, mature, competitive, tough and resilient then a place like Duke can be a great fit. In that case go for it. But for a student that still needs to mature and develop some strong coping strategies for an unforgiving environment, it may not be a good experience at all.

I think that some are exaggerating the academic environment at Duke--speaking as one very familiar with several recent graduates. Duke can be an academically demanding, but students can get by with average intelligence and average work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a white male from this area? If so, he's a dime a dozen. It's a bummer but it sounds like he has a lot of good choices.

That was my first thought too. "Is he a white preppy boy?" They've already got those.

Well my AA son with the same and even more states also did not get in last year. He did, however, get into Northwestern, Berkeley and a great crop of others. It is what it is. On to the next.

Really helpful if people would look at the trend of YouTube videos where current college students petition to look at their admission files. The reasons they thought they got in NEVER match why they got in. In fact, all the but the VERY best 5% of students are often stunned at how mediocre admission people thought they were. It's eye-opening and blows everything that people talk about on these posts out of the water. It's luck --period. Black, white, smart, whatever. It's luck.

Well it's not just getting into these places but getting out. Everyone carries on about the hardest part of elite college is getting in but that is not really the case. These places are full of aggressive academic machines and it is really hard to do well. The environment can be pretty brutal and they need candidates that can thrive in that

100%. Sometimes not getting in can be a blessing in disguise for certain individuals. OP, by going to UNC your son can avoid the difficult competition of hundreds of valedictorians and perfect scorers competing for the same grades and opportunities at Duke. That could end up helping your son stand out!

If a student is aggressive, mature, competitive, tough and resilient then a place like Duke can be a great fit. In that case go for it. But for a student that still needs to mature and develop some strong coping strategies for an unforgiving environment, it may not be a good experience at all.

I think that some are exaggerating the academic environment at Duke--speaking as one very familiar with several recent graduates. Duke can be an academically demanding, but students can get by with average intelligence and average work.

Ok. If get by is the goal then fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a white male from this area? If so, he's a dime a dozen. It's a bummer but it sounds like he has a lot of good choices.

That was my first thought too. "Is he a white preppy boy?" They've already got those.

Well my AA son with the same and even more states also did not get in last year. He did, however, get into Northwestern, Berkeley and a great crop of others. It is what it is. On to the next.

Really helpful if people would look at the trend of YouTube videos where current college students petition to look at their admission files. The reasons they thought they got in NEVER match why they got in. In fact, all the but the VERY best 5% of students are often stunned at how mediocre admission people thought they were. It's eye-opening and blows everything that people talk about on these posts out of the water. It's luck --period. Black, white, smart, whatever. It's luck.

Well it's not just getting into these places but getting out. Everyone carries on about the hardest part of elite college is getting in but that is not really the case. These places are full of aggressive academic machines and it is really hard to do well. The environment can be pretty brutal and they need candidates that can thrive in that

100%. Sometimes not getting in can be a blessing in disguise for certain individuals. OP, by going to UNC your son can avoid the difficult competition of hundreds of valedictorians and perfect scorers competing for the same grades and opportunities at Duke. That could end up helping your son stand out!

If a student is aggressive, mature, competitive, tough and resilient then a place like Duke can be a great fit. In that case go for it. But for a student that still needs to mature and develop some strong coping strategies for an unforgiving environment, it may not be a good experience at all.

I think that some are exaggerating the academic environment at Duke--speaking as one very familiar with several recent graduates. Duke can be an academically demanding, but students can get by with average intelligence and average work.

Ok. If get by is the goal then fine.

"Get by" students, unless they are hooked, are going to struggle to get admitted to places like Duke. That was a different time.
"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a white male from this area? If so, he's a dime a dozen. It's a bummer but it sounds like he has a lot of good choices.

That was my first thought too. "Is he a white preppy boy?" They've already got those.

Well my AA son with the same and even more states also did not get in last year. He did, however, get into Northwestern, Berkeley and a great crop of others. It is what it is. On to the next.

Really helpful if people would look at the trend of YouTube videos where current college students petition to look at their admission files. The reasons they thought they got in NEVER match why they got in. In fact, all the but the VERY best 5% of students are often stunned at how mediocre admission people thought they were. It's eye-opening and blows everything that people talk about on these posts out of the water. It's luck --period. Black, white, smart, whatever. It's luck.

Well it's not just getting into these places but getting out. Everyone carries on about the hardest part of elite college is getting in but that is not really the case. These places are full of aggressive academic machines and it is really hard to do well. The environment can be pretty brutal and they need candidates that can thrive in that

100%. Sometimes not getting in can be a blessing in disguise for certain individuals. OP, by going to UNC your son can avoid the difficult competition of hundreds of valedictorians and perfect scorers competing for the same grades and opportunities at Duke. That could end up helping your son stand out!

If a student is aggressive, mature, competitive, tough and resilient then a place like Duke can be a great fit. In that case go for it. But for a student that still needs to mature and develop some strong coping strategies for an unforgiving environment, it may not be a good experience at all.

I think that some are exaggerating the academic environment at Duke--speaking as one very familiar with several recent graduates. Duke can be an academically demanding, but students can get by with average intelligence and average work.

Ok. If get by is the goal then fine.

"Get by" students, unless they are hooked, are going to struggle to get admitted to places like Duke. That was a different time.

+1 the “get by” students at duke now are almost always hooked by legacy, strong connections, feeder school in North Carolina, etc. The average non-hooked student now at Duke is probably incredibly strong. I’ve seen some of the kids Duke enrolls from my child’s HS in the past few years and they’re as good as it gets academically.
"

[Anonymous]

Probably looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a white male from this area? If so, he's a dime a dozen. It's a bummer but it sounds like he has a lot of good choices.

That was my first thought too. "Is he a white preppy boy?" They've already got those.

Well my AA son with the same and even more states also did not get in last year. He did, however, get into Northwestern, Berkeley and a great crop of others. It is what it is. On to the next.

Really helpful if people would look at the trend of YouTube videos where current college students petition to look at their admission files. The reasons they thought they got in NEVER match why they got in. In fact, all the but the VERY best 5% of students are often stunned at how mediocre admission people thought they were. It's eye-opening and blows everything that people talk about on these posts out of the water. It's luck --period. Black, white, smart, whatever. It's luck.

Well it's not just getting into these places but getting out. Everyone carries on about the hardest part of elite college is getting in but that is not really the case. These places are full of aggressive academic machines and it is really hard to do well. The environment can be pretty brutal and they need candidates that can thrive in that

100%. Sometimes not getting in can be a blessing in disguise for certain individuals. OP, by going to UNC your son can avoid the difficult competition of hundreds of valedictorians and perfect scorers competing for the same grades and opportunities at Duke. That could end up helping your son stand out!

If a student is aggressive, mature, competitive, tough and resilient then a place like Duke can be a great fit. In that case go for it. But for a student that still needs to mature and develop some strong coping strategies for an unforgiving environment, it may not be a good experience at all.

I think that some are exaggerating the academic environment at Duke--speaking as one very familiar with several recent graduates. Duke can be an academically demanding, but students can get by with average intelligence and average work.

This is fairly recent. They all majored in public policy. (I cannot recall the formal name of the major.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how much of your DS resume is his merit? If you work on the hill and he got an internship there through your connections is not his merit in any way. Yes, he has the experience and knowledge from it but that is an advantage not an achievement. So sick entire of entitlement! I don't know your son, maybe he's exceptional, but you sound like the pushy whinny parent so likely lots of his resume bullet points had your significant contribution.
Get rid of holistic admissions and introduce exams for specific departments, why are you scoring kids in English if they go to computer science? OK, add it as pass/fail so they have so minimum English proficiency but test them in math.

Actually, you sound like a whiny parent. OP has been pretty tame and essentially just asked for insights, which were provided in abundance. Some PPs on here also said their own kids and others they know got internships on the hill of their own accord, and OP doesn’t sound like a helicopter parent. OPs son definitely has the credentials to get a hill internship with class president + editor in chief to go along with the stellar academics

Also, there is no way of an AO to know this necessarily. That's what I find frustrating. I'd much rather than my hands off the reigns and let my DC drive and learn themselves but the level they will drive themselves is not what their peers (who are pushed by their parents) are doing. For example, one of my sons writes really good research papers entirely on his own (won't even tell me that he's written a paper until after its graded). I think that is great. But one of his friends' mom admitted to me that since her son is not a great writer, she keeps on top of all of his writing assignments, has him do an outline which she edits, has him do a first draft which she edits, has him do a final draft that she often needs to still re-write. He gets the same grades typically as my son. I have another son is like hers - struggles with writing, critical thinking. Occasionally for a big paper he will share an early draft with me and I provide general feedback/questions. He gets Bs typically on papers (makes up for it with tests since he is great at memorization). Should I be more involved? I don't think long run its good for him, but the friend whose mom is involved will likely be looked at my favorably than the my son who struggles with writing and at the same level as my son whose strength is in that area.

[Anonymous]

But that will come back to bite him when he hits college.

Not a good parenting approach AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how much of your DS resume is his merit? If you work on the hill and he got an internship there through your connections is not his merit in any way. Yes, he has the experience and knowledge from it but that is an advantage not an achievement. So sick entire of entitlement! I don't know your son, maybe he's exceptional, but you sound like the pushy whinny parent so likely lots of his resume bullet points had your significant contribution.
Get rid of holistic admissions and introduce exams for specific departments, why are you scoring kids in English if they go to computer science? OK, add it as pass/fail so they have so minimum English proficiency but test them in math.

Actually, you sound like a whiny parent. OP has been pretty tame and essentially just asked for insights, which were provided in abundance. Some PPs on here also said their own kids and others they know got internships on the hill of their own accord, and OP doesn’t sound like a helicopter parent. OPs son definitely has the credentials to get a hill internship with class president + editor in chief to go along with the stellar academics

Also, there is no way of an AO to know this necessarily. That's what I find frustrating. I'd much rather than my hands off the reigns and let my DC drive and learn themselves but the level they will drive themselves is not what their peers (who are pushed by their parents) are doing. For example, one of my sons writes really good research papers entirely on his own (won't even tell me that he's written a paper until after its graded). I think that is great. But one of his friends' mom admitted to me that since her son is not a great writer, she keeps on top of all of his writing assignments, has him do an outline which she edits, has him do a first draft which she edits, has him do a final draft that she often needs to still re-write. He gets the same grades typically as my son. I have another son is like hers - struggles with writing, critical thinking. Occasionally for a big paper he will share an early draft with me and I provide general feedback/questions. He gets Bs typically on papers (makes up for it with tests since he is great at memorization). Should I be more involved? I don't think long run its good for him, but the friend whose mom is involved will likely be looked at my favorably than the my son who struggles with writing and at the same level as my son whose strength is in that area.

That seems like a lot of help though if the kid is asking for it and it truly is help not doing it for them it’s not different than the many, many kids with tutors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how much of your DS resume is his merit? If you work on the hill and he got an internship there through your connections is not his merit in any way. Yes, he has the experience and knowledge from it but that is an advantage not an achievement. So sick entire of entitlement! I don't know your son, maybe he's exceptional, but you sound like the pushy whinny parent so likely lots of his resume bullet points had your significant contribution.
Get rid of holistic admissions and introduce exams for specific departments, why are you scoring kids in English if they go to computer science? OK, add it as pass/fail so they have so minimum English proficiency but test them in math.

Actually, you sound like a whiny parent. OP has been pretty tame and essentially just asked for insights, which were provided in abundance. Some PPs on here also said their own kids and others they know got internships on the hill of their own accord, and OP doesn’t sound like a helicopter parent. OPs son definitely has the credentials to get a hill internship with class president + editor in chief to go along with the stellar academics

Also, there is no way of an AO to know this necessarily. That's what I find frustrating. I'd much rather than my hands off the reigns and let my DC drive and learn themselves but the level they will drive themselves is not what their peers (who are pushed by their parents) are doing. For example, one of my sons writes really good research papers entirely on his own (won't even tell me that he's written a paper until after its graded). I think that is great. But one of his friends' mom admitted to me that since her son is not a great writer, she keeps on top of all of his writing assignments, has him do an outline which she edits, has him do a first draft which she edits, has him do a final draft that she often needs to still re-write. He gets the same grades typically as my son. I have another son is like hers - struggles with writing, critical thinking. Occasionally for a big paper he will share an early draft with me and I provide general feedback/questions. He gets Bs typically on papers (makes up for it with tests since he is great at memorization). Should I be more involved? I don't think long run its good for him, but the friend whose mom is involved will likely be looked at my favorably than the my son who struggles with writing and at the same level as my son whose strength is in that area.

Learning to write well is very challenging and takes a lot of time and effort. Support you students but don't actually re write papers for them. Help to edit edit edit. It takes a long time to produce a piece of clear, concise, interesting writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a white male from this area? If so, he's a dime a dozen. It's a bummer but it sounds like he has a lot of good choices.

That was my first thought too. "Is he a white preppy boy?" They've already got those.

Well my AA son with the same and even more states also did not get in last year. He did, however, get into Northwestern, Berkeley and a great crop of others. It is what it is. On to the next.

Really helpful if people would look at the trend of YouTube videos where current college students petition to look at their admission files. The reasons they thought they got in NEVER match why they got in. In fact, all the but the VERY best 5% of students are often stunned at how mediocre admission people thought they were. It's eye-opening and blows everything that people talk about on these posts out of the water. It's luck --period. Black, white, smart, whatever. It's luck.

Well it's not just getting into these places but getting out. Everyone carries on about the hardest part of elite college is getting in but that is not really the case. These places are full of aggressive academic machines and it is really hard to do well. The environment can be pretty brutal and they need candidates that can thrive in that

100%. Sometimes not getting in can be a blessing in disguise for certain individuals. OP, by going to UNC your son can avoid the difficult competition of hundreds of valedictorians and perfect scorers competing for the same grades and opportunities at Duke. That could end up helping your son stand out!

If a student is aggressive, mature, competitive, tough and resilient then a place like Duke can be a great fit. In that case go for it. But for a student that still needs to mature and develop some strong coping strategies for an unforgiving environment, it may not be a good experience at all.

I think that some are exaggerating the academic environment at Duke--speaking as one very familiar with several recent graduates. Duke can be an academically demanding, but students can get by with average intelligence and average work.

Ok. If get by is the goal then fine.

"Get by" students, unless they are hooked, are going to struggle to get admitted to places like Duke. That was a different time."

+1 the “get by” students at duke now are almost always hooked by legacy, strong connections, feeder school in North Carolina, etc. The average non-hooked student now at Duke is probably incredibly strong. I’ve seen some of the kids Duke enrolls from my child’s HS in the past few years and they’re as good as it gets academically.

NP here. I agree with this, I’ve now been in NY for many years but occasionally still browse here. The smartest family I know in NY has 2 “unhooked” sons who are recent graduates of Duke, and as undergrads they were taking majority graduate classes, both graduated valedictorian of competitive HS where my son is currently an upperclassman, etc. Particularly the older son is a genius and the brightest kid I have spent time around - I don’t understand his work but it’s in quantum computing. He’s the type that would have been a top student even at Harvard. I don’t know the story of why he chose Duke (I know he’s not on scholarship or anything) but if kids like that are in the student body it’s bound to be very competitive and difficult to stand out there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a white male from this area? If so, he's a dime a dozen. It's a bummer but it sounds like he has a lot of good choices.

That was my first thought too. "Is he a white preppy boy?" They've already got those.

Well my AA son with the same and even more states also did not get in last year. He did, however, get into Northwestern, Berkeley and a great crop of others. It is what it is. On to the next.

Really helpful if people would look at the trend of YouTube videos where current college students petition to look at their admission files. The reasons they thought they got in NEVER match why they got in. In fact, all the but the VERY best 5% of students are often stunned at how mediocre admission people thought they were. It's eye-opening and blows everything that people talk about on these posts out of the water. It's luck --period. Black, white, smart, whatever. It's luck.

Well it's not just getting into these places but getting out. Everyone carries on about the hardest part of elite college is getting in but that is not really the case. These places are full of aggressive academic machines and it is really hard to do well. The environment can be pretty brutal and they need candidates that can thrive in that

100%. Sometimes not getting in can be a blessing in disguise for certain individuals. OP, by going to UNC your son can avoid the difficult competition of hundreds of valedictorians and perfect scorers competing for the same grades and opportunities at Duke. That could end up helping your son stand out!

If a student is aggressive, mature, competitive, tough and resilient then a place like Duke can be a great fit. In that case go for it. But for a student that still needs to mature and develop some strong coping strategies for an unforgiving environment, it may not be a good experience at all.

I think that some are exaggerating the academic environment at Duke--speaking as one very familiar with several recent graduates. Duke can be an academically demanding, but students can get by with average intelligence and average work.

This is fairly recent. They all majored in public policy. (I cannot recall the formal name of the major.)

A lot of the pub pol majors are the hooked/legacy/rich kids who got in by their wealth and connections and don’t really have to worry too much about what work they do after graduating. The Duke pub pol kids who are unhooked are generally very bright and get top jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably looks.

Did you really have to take the time out of your day to comment this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Duke is overrated. Your kid will do fine no matter where he attends.

We do not feel Duke is overrated and would still love an acceptance

I am in New York, and its reputation here is that it is fraternity-heavy, jocky and a little too southern. Personally, if shooting for the tippity top, I prefer the northern intellectual schools such as HYP, Williams, MIT, Cornell etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Duke is overrated. Your kid will do fine no matter where he attends.

We do not feel Duke is overrated and would still love an acceptance

I am in New York, and its reputation here is that it is fraternity-heavy, jocky and a little too southern. Personally, if shooting for the tippity top, I prefer the northern intellectual schools such as HYP, Williams, MIT, Cornell etc.

I'm also from New York and disagree. I think your perception is outdated, I see Duke alumni in top jobs all over the city.