Choosing not to pursue fertility treatments

[Anonymous]

DH and I decided not to pursue fertility treatments and adoption is not for us. I feel like I'm in a very small minority. Any of you take the "if it happens, it happens" approach?

[Anonymous]

I don't ovulate so know that without treatment, there is no chance. So, for me, that wouldn't work. But if I did and it was unexplained fertility, I might just decide to keep trying but not intervene.

Did you try the simple stuff (clomid) and give up or not want to try anything at all. I will say that I would not decide to not try anything but might draw the line at some level depending on risk, money, etc.

[Anonymous]

I know many people who gave up on everything, only to have a miracle baby.

[Anonymous]

I might have taken the wait and hope approach if I had been younger, but at 39, even with unexplained IF, I knew the clock was seriously ticking, and I didn't want regrets later.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure there are many, but after they made that decision a not-small percentage of them have probably moved on with a child-free lifestyle and therefore they aren't hanging out on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure there are many, but after they made that decision a not-small percentage of them have probably moved on with a child-free lifestyle and therefore they aren't hanging out on DCUM.

Not necessarily. They may be ttc the old fashioned way. Or perusing dcum for its many other topics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure there are many, but after they made that decision a not-small percentage of them have probably moved on with a child-free lifestyle and therefore they aren't hanging out on DCUM.

This is me. I still check the TTC boards to give my advice b/c I learned a lot when I was in TTC mode. But, yeah, I decided not to pursue treatment or actively pursue getting pregnant naturally. No miracle baby for me and I'm fine with it now.

[Anonymous]

I'm greatful to not have to worry about this. However, I did grow up with childless relatives. I have an uncle who married a woman who had to have a hysterectomy (sp?) due to cancer only a year or two after they got married. They never adopted. My other aunt and uncle never had kids and no one ever explained to me why. They all live very fulfilling lives and are the greatest aunts and uncles ever (probably because I don't have cousins to compete with) They all have lots of dogs though! Good luck to you op, no matter where this path takes you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't ovulate so know that without treatment, there is no chance. So, for me, that wouldn't work. But if I did and it was unexplained fertility, I might just decide to keep trying but not intervene.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

I know two couples tha did this. Both choose to adopt. One DID get pregnant after a decade+ of no prevention. She was elated, but the addition of a third, biological child really disrupted family life. The other never had a biological child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know two couples tha did this. Both choose to adopt. One DID get pregnant after a decade+ of no prevention. She was elated, but the addition of a third, biological child really disrupted family life. The other never had a biological child.

Another relative also took this route a has no children and only recently shared this regret with me.

[Anonymous]

I really wanted a baby and was pushing 38 after three years ttc. The if it happens, it happens approach wasn't for me. I wanted to know I'd done everything I could to have a biological child. No regrets. I might have taken a more laissez faire approach if I was younger. The good news is I have a beautiful daughter.

[Anonymous]

Not me. I entered the TTC world too late (at 37) and I have to compensate for the time lost with a more aggressive approach. Expensive and exhausting that the process is, it still make me feel better at some level. This is because I already regret the late entrance; it makes me feel much better to know that, at least, now I have my priorities straight and I am doing everything I possibly can. So far I had one child and TTC #2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I decided not to pursue fertility treatments and adoption is not for us. I feel like I'm in a very small minority. Any of you take the "if it happens, it happens" approach?

We took only a few steps down the fertility treatment path before deciding to adopt. The question is whether it's worth the treatments and doctor visits in order to be bio parents and for us the answer was no because we just wanted to be parents. Having the kids look like us, etc. isn't important to us.

[Anonymous]

We also decided not to pursue fertility treatments after the initial workup, but my situation is somewhat different in that I have unexplained secondary infertility. The fact that we have DS played a huge role in our decision not to go forward with IUI or IVF. We're also about a month away from our previously-agreed-upon TTC stopping point. We've been taking the "if it happens, it happens" approach for about two years now, but it's not happening. For my own sanity, I need to get off this rollercoaster and just move on.