Best consequence for getting a "D" on a report card

[Anonymous]

D for Diploma...
I mean that in the best sense. You know if your kid has issues, don't punish them if they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd try to address the underlying cause, like PPs have said. Tutoring may be necessary.

But I'm a bigger fan of positive rewards. If it's homework, tie the reward to better homework performance rather than a specific grade.

+1 to all of this, but also with some sort of natural consequence involving the loss/reduction of a time-waster (say, screen or phone time) until her grades are back up. Kids need a little nudge sometimes. I did.

I am for sure not a proponent of "let her fail." That strikes me as not only hostile, but as lazy parenting and poor support for your child.

Agree with this. Don’t let her fail. Her natural consequences for a D is having you micromanage her assignments and studying/study time and reducing her screen time that isn’t related to schoolwork- make her sit at the table/common house area if she happens to claim “doing homework” when she in in fact not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teen I had undiagnosed and unmedicated ADD. I managed to usually pull off at least a C in a couple really tough subjects.

Now looking back here is what I would say would have helped:

- proper medication for ADD
- remedial tutoring in math and science. Those were tough classes and I missed a lot of basic concepts because it was too tough to focus on them. Getting tutoring at the level of my current class would not have helped. I needed tutoring to cover what I missed the year before.
-forced independent study time at home to follow up on the tutoring - basically I needed my parents to tell me to schedule a time each day and sit in the same place and review the tutoring work. I would likely need them to be close by to ensure that I would do it.

I agree. I had undiagnosed ADD too, and would have benefited from the above. My son has severe inattentive ADHD (as it's now called). In middle and high school he had to be medicated with Adderall, and we paid for expensive one-on-one tutors who were very good. Previously in elementary we had tutored him ourselves. We were his executive functioning coaches throughout his schooling until he left for college. He needed a lot of support in math, but got straight As everywhere else. He's now doing well in college, because he can choose the courses he wants (having vaulted over the freshman core classes thanks to his AP coursework), and he always does better when the topic is in his area of interest.

It's time to really put pressure on your kid to get her grades up, OP. This is not negotiable. Other things like clothing and food choices might be accommodated. But not this.

[Anonymous]

No phone

[Anonymous]

Consequences? How about you instead figure out what the hell is going on? Does she need ADHD meds? Motivation? Not good at that subject? More suited to trade school? Depressed? Teacher is terrible?

[Anonymous]

Some kids are just not cut out for school.

[Anonymous]

A tutor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got a D in social studies when I was in 10th grade. It was mostly due to laziness; I could have tried harder and I didn't. While it was a passing grade, my parents made me take it over in summer school to get a better grade. I was embarrassed to go to summer school, but I got an A. And I was proud looking at that A on my transcript. I definitely learned my lesson. Not that I am behind "shaming" a child, but it was a good lesson. It also gave me something to do during the summer on days I wasn't working my PT job. Could be a win win, OP!

Unfortunately not all schools cancel a bad grade because you retook the class. In our district, all final grades are there to stay, regardless of if you re-took the class. Now you have two grades for that class. Retaking in the summer is a good idea to make sure content was learned before advancing, but it may not fix your transcript

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:D for Diploma...
I mean that in the best sense. You know if your kid has issues, don't punish them if they do.

Why or how did you search DCUM to revive a 10 year old thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No phone

No! That is WAY too sever.

[Anonymous]

Retake over the summer?

[Anonymous]

Hopefully after 10 YEARS the OP and her DD have moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd try to address the underlying cause, like PPs have said. Tutoring may be necessary.

But I'm a bigger fan of positive rewards. If it's homework, tie the reward to better homework performance rather than a specific grade.

+1 to all of this, but also with some sort of natural consequence involving the loss/reduction of a time-waster (say, screen or phone time) until her grades are back up. Kids need a little nudge sometimes. I did.

I am for sure not a proponent of "let her fail." That strikes me as not only hostile, but as lazy parenting and poor support for your child.

I would like to point out that taking away screen time is not a natural consequence.

"Let her fail" is a natural consequence.

I am not advocating one or the other, simply confused by your terminology.

Screen time necessarily distracts from study time, so I disagree.

[Anonymous]

I stepped in, despite the protests and anger, and got a tutor at the first sign of a D. Before I could get the tutor he got a D on the retake too. So, he needed it, but he fought, wined, protested. Once he got the tutor everything was much better. Sitting at a B.

I'm about to force the tutor issue in another class too.

[Anonymous]

These are all crazy overreactions.

Remember, C’s earn degrees.