Does perimenopause cause a husband aversion?

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine sharing a bed. Separate beds/bedrooms are the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haha, yes. Wine and separate vacations help. I think separate homes would be ideal for everyone.

+1

When he goes on work trips I love our texts. He's great when he's away. I'm sure I am too

Japanese Proverb: "A good husband is healthy and absent."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. DH and I are very much in love and like being with each other. We also have a good sex-life and lots of laughter. Been married for 37 years, together for 40 years. Two great kids. Semi-empty nesters. I am a SAH spouse. He likes his work.

However, since many years, we have also built up our own space within the marriage and daily life to recharge. This translates into -
1) Separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms at home.
2) Areas of responsibilities (he cooks, I do meticulous laundry)
3) Cleaning lady.
4) Making time for his, mine and our friends and family.

So basically a husband won’t annoy you as long as they sleep in their own bedroom, use their own bathroom, you pay someone else pick up after them, and they don’t ruin your clothes by trying to “help” with the laundry. If only what was my reality but it isn’t

[Anonymous]

Many of us were very forgiving and understanding when we were younger I'd say.
The things I took as 'we are all different', were absolutely unacceptable and perhaps even illegal now.
I just found a former 'friend' online and called him up. I remember him as a nice person. He even said that he is much nicer now. After texting him for couple of days, I find him a completely jerk.
I went back in time in my head and remembered that this guy almost got me arrested, beat up, dumped, and put me in danger a few times. He also borrowed money he never paid back. I didn't ask for it back then, but had no problem telling him now that I wanted it back when he turned into a jerk while texting.
He said that he would give it back to me if I slept with him. GTFOH!
As for some man living with me, I wouldn't tolerate their noises. Glad to have a partner who comes over and then leaves.
He is cleaner and makes less noises than anyone I know. I even have to check if he is still breathing at times when done and calmed down.
He is very aware of smells, noises, and his impact on other people around him. Absolute pleasure to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. I want to divorce mine.

You’re no peach either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel pretty bad about this. I don’t know if it’s my changing hormones or if my husband has developed annoying habits and/or dropped maintaining basic manners as he has aged. But OMG, I’m annoyed by him a lot of the time.

I think it causes an aversion to other humans in general. Down with people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom and aunt were talking about this and it’s so funny to me.
“Is there anything worse than settling into bed and then the door opens and he says mind if I join you?” *groaning*
“He wants to take a getaway. More like GO away! Go away from me and let me have the house to myself.”
“The real vacation would be a vacation from his presence.”
They say I’ll understand soon.

When I was younger I always wondered why widows did not marry again. Ah, the innocence of my youth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, and then I could not have sex with him at all, due to revulsion. And in a sexless marriage (for years) he reasonably enough decided to start cheating. at which point I had to divorce him.

I don’t know what I could’ve done differently, because at that point when sex ended (and contempt skyrocketed) sex felt coerced and gross.

Why would you divorce over this? He didn't do anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

Please please google Matt Hyams cereal video. You will die laughing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I need to put a pillow between us at night so I can’t feel him breathing on me.

OMG the night breathing...ugh.

The daytime breathing! The burping, the pooting, the hair in the sink, the coffee splatters. I could go on.

For the night breathing, I recommend separate bedrooms although this does reduce intimacy.

OMG are from the South? I haven't heard "poot" in ages- thanks for making my day lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel pretty bad about this. I don’t know if it’s my changing hormones or if my husband has developed annoying habits and/or dropped maintaining basic manners as he has aged. But OMG, I’m annoyed by him a lot of the time.

I think it causes an aversion to other humans in general. Down with people!

Very relatable!

[Anonymous]

This is why many middle age men cheat or divorce. Proceed with caution.

[Anonymous]

It causes people and bs aversion.

[Anonymous]

Thank you to OP and everyone posting. Yes I think we might all be married to the same man.

My DH makes all these annoying sounds, all day long. He'll make these loud sighing sounds, not to express an emotion but like just to annoy unce his presence in rooms. He cooks so loudly. He walks so heavy and loud (he wears through shoes really quickly and he thinks it's shoe quality but I think it's how he walks, so heavy and pounding).

My current love language is him taking the kids and going away for several hours. All I want is for them to leave me alone. Agree with the poster who says they are all gross and I don't know who is grossest. They are all always farting and tracking crumbs all over and leaving piles of paper and trash all over like raccoons. And then when I try to go through things and get rid of them, they all squawk at me that they can't possibly part with their piles of garbage and how dare I suggest it.

I do not understand how this could make sense biologically? I want to go live in the woods by myself, but they need me (frankly too much).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I need to put a pillow between us at night so I can’t feel him breathing on me.

OMG the night breathing...ugh.

The daytime breathing! The burping, the pooting, the hair in the sink, the coffee splatters. I could go on.

For the night breathing, I recommend separate bedrooms although this does reduce intimacy.

OMG are from the South? I haven't heard "poot" in ages- thanks for making my day lol!

LOL yes I am from the South, but I didn't realize that poot was a Southern thing. I refuse to use the F word for passing gas, but I'm totally fine with the other F word and use it on a daily basis.