Portion size for your DH

[Anonymous]

It's too much simple carbs for anyone. Needs to have a lot more fiber for fullness and for colon health. Lentils, sautéed or raw greens etc etc. fiber at breakfast too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you policing what a grown man eats?

Because he’s OBESE! BMI 33.

I assume he is underreporting on things like the mac and cheese.

What's his alcohol intake? He could have insulin resistance.

No alcohol, probably prediabetic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I are at odds about what is typical food intake for a man.

Here is a typical daily log, which seems like way too much food.

breakfast:
Two egg omelette on a bagel with tomato and onion

Lunch:
6” deli meat sub, fruit slices, baked crisps

Snack:
Two handfuls of honey roasted peanuts

Dinner
Two chicken thighs, sautéed vegetables, starch like a 1-2 cups of potatoes au gratin or Mac and cheese.

Man here. Portion wise, that's fine. But it's a lot of fat and carbs. An EXTRAORDINARY amount of carbs. The bagel and sub bread alone probably add up to around 125 grams. The snack and dinner carbs are that again.

Why are you trying to restrict his diet, though?

Define "EXTRAORDINARY." If you are referring to above and beyond what OP's DH should be eating as a percentage of his overall diet, then ok. Probably. But it isn't much (if at all) beyond what most Americans are eating.

[Anonymous]

OP, I've read all of your responses here.

If you have that much contempt for your DH, and such a need to criticize him, just discuss divorce with him now. You are hitting 2/4 (and the biggest and baddest) of the horsemen in this one post.

[Anonymous]

OP, I eat more than this daily and I weigh 120 pounds. Leave your poor DH alone.

[Anonymous]

That's fine.

What's wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

That's more than my DH eats but about on par with my tall 11 year old.

[Anonymous]

That’s a lot more carbs than my DH eats but probably about the same amount of food. He’s taller and eats more protein and vegetables daily.

It’s A LOT less food than my younger, adult son eats. He’s taller and thin.

So this is going to vary. Leave your husband alone and let him eat what he wants.

[Anonymous]

Stop arguing with him about how much food he should be eating.

I think his diet seems pretty typical. Doesn't mean it is what is optimal for him or for anybody. But you arguing with him is not going to help him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I are at odds about what is typical food intake for a man.

Here is a typical daily log, which seems like way too much food.

breakfast:
Two egg omelette on a bagel with tomato and onion

Lunch:
6” deli meat sub, fruit slices, baked crisps

Snack:
Two handfuls of honey roasted peanuts

Dinner
Two chicken thighs, sautéed vegetables, starch like a 1-2 cups of potatoes au gratin or Mac and cheese.

DH here: this quantity of food doesn’t seem crazy, but you aren’t going to lose weight that way. Is he interested in losing weight? If so, the highest leverage modifications to make here would be: 1. Drop the bagel, the two egg omelette is fine and i find that carbs early in the day sets me on a bad path, 2. Replace half of the Mac and cheese at dinner with an extra chicken thigh. My guess is that this is someone who’d drop weight pretty quickly just by going low carb for breakfast and lunch, and would probably do well on intermittent fasting for a while. But, not gonna work unless he’s trying to lose weight. I will push back on some of the push back in this thread, sometimes men in this situation DO need some tough love because it’s easy to be in denial about how much weight you have gained. But you need to slow your roll on the micromanaging, OP, that’s going to backfire. He has to find a method that works for him.

[Anonymous]

The problem in the US is that what the typical diet is, is not healthy. I love bagels but it shouldn't be a frequent or every day thing. Same with mac and cheese or cheese covered potatoes. Yes it is normal, no it is not good. And because it is normal it is very hard to convince someone to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem in the US is that what the typical diet is, is not healthy. I love bagels but it shouldn't be a frequent or every day thing. Same with mac and cheese or cheese covered potatoes. Yes it is normal, no it is not good. And because it is normal it is very hard to convince someone to change.

This is the correct answer. So many people in this country who think they're eating clean are actually doing anything but. In this case I would point to lunch - if you eat processed deli meat, you might as well just find your nearest bottle of Drano and drink it. As Principal Clark said in Lean on Me, if you're going to kill yourself, why not do it expeditiously.

[Anonymous]

First, he’s probably underestimating the quantity of food he’s eating if he’s obese.

Second, overeating is probably so ingrained that he doesn’t even realize it’s happening. My husband is like that. He has never maintained a healthy weight at any point during his adult life, he’s always been gaining weight.

I didn’t understand this until now, because he’s only become obese recently.

He was pretty skinny when he started college after a huge growth spurt. Then he put on a little bit of weight and looked on the thin side of a healthy BMI when I met him. Then every year he gains a little weight.

It wasn’t a big deal until it was.

He’s already gone from 6’1” and 170 pounds in college to 300 in his 40’s. Around 250 we started talking about how being overweight was a problem and he agreed he wanted to change, but he keeps eating the same. And after a lifetime of gaining weight every single year, his perception of “normal” portions are completely off. He says he’s hungry but it looks more autopilot of piling huge portions and polishing it off. He’s on track to gain between 5-10 pounds a year like always.

He’ll be 400 pounds by the time he’s 55 and close to 500 by retirement. If he lives that long. People telling OP that she’s “nagging” for being concerned do not understand how horrible it is to watch someone slowly kill themselves this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you policing what a grown man eats?

Because he’s OBESE! BMI 33.

I assume he is underreporting on things like the mac and cheese.

He is underreporting more than that. That amount of food would possibly make a normal WOMAN overweight but probably not obese.

[Anonymous]

That seems pretty normal to me.