Nearly 17 year old son is sexually active
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Anonymous
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No, you don’t tell her parents. Good grief.
Her mother may already know anyway, and that’s who may have helped get her on birth control. You let your son know where you put the box of condoms for him, remind him to always always have one available, and that’s it. -Mother of young adult son and young adult daughter. |
Anonymous
Plus: it’s absolutely crucial (no matter how cringy the conversation) that he be told he absolutely MUST wear one for every act, and not just for PIV. This is required and not up for discussion. |
Anonymous
Some of you are almost unspeakably dumb. It is almost tragic |
Anonymous
Why not? |
Anonymous
| No, do not contact her parents. You need to buy condoms and Plan B for your son. You can buy them online. Better safe than sorry. |
Anonymous
+1 Better to know he is active and enjoys it These days it’s a way bigger risk not being active |
Anonymous
+1 I have a DS and DD. I know my DS was having sex with his also 17 yr old gf (I found condoms). I have told both my kids that they should wait until they find someone whom they really love but no matter what, use condoms. DS thought he and his gf were going to stay together forever. They stayed together for another 2.5 years, and he said he thought that they were going to get married. She broke up with him, and he was heartbroken. |
Anonymous
It is not up to the boy's parents to tell the girl's parents. If the girl hasn't told the parents, then she doesn't have a close relationship with them. That's not on OP. -parent of DS and DD. |
Anonymous
It's not OP's place, and it will break trust with your child. |
Anonymous
Well, don’t tell her dad at least. |
Anonymous
PP here and I’m trying to imagine this conversation with parents that I hardly know. I’m not sure what the point would be. To make them stop? To break them up? To make sure they’re supervised 24/7? None of that is possible when they’re 17. If you’ve laid the groundwork for a trusting relationship with your almost-adult child and you’ve taught them to make good decisions about who they spend time with and how they take care of themselves and others, that’s really all you can do at this point. |
Anonymous
Also not a lawyer, but my understanding is it varies by state. In Virginia, minors within a certain age of each other (and over a certain age - maybe 14?) can have sex, but there’s no “Romeo and Juliet” law once one is 18. In other words, a 16 and 17 year old can have sex (if it’s close enough in age) but an 18 year old and 17 year old cannot. In Maryland the Romeo and Juliet law is for someone within three years and it looks like the age of consent generally is 17. I met my husband when I was 19 and he was 17. (We didn’t sleep together for 1.5 years). It’s weird to me that multiple people asked me if that means I raped him. It just so happens that we met in Massachusetts and I looked it up and the age of consent is 16, but back then this didn’t occur to me. The Romeo and Juliet law in Mass applies if you’re within 2 years of age. I’m just over two years older but, since we waited, it didn’t matter anyway. Teenage sex is complicated for so many reasons, but laws are for sure one of them! |
Anonymous
| Keep him busy. Nothing wrong with being sexually active at 17, but it shouldn’t be his main activity. |
Anonymous
| Don't tell her parents! He should use 2 forms birth control. |
Anonymous
This. |