Things not to say to a new mother…

[Anonymous]

"Is it hard being.... older/younger?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh man I'm pregnant and getting that now. My coming second is a also boy and "oh are you disappointed it's not a girl".

My boys are not disappointments.

Relax, some people think everyone wants one of each

Yes after I had one each, I got several 'Now you can stop' comments. Like my decision on how many children to have would be based on gender

My friend with two girls got "doesn't your husband want a boy" comments.

What made that one particularly cruel is my friend had a stillborn boy.

[Anonymous]

I get a LOT of comments about having an only from people who seem to be unaware that sometimes people wanted more kids but couldn't have them.

I also got a lot of comments before I had kids about "don't you two want kids?" Or "time to get a move on!"

Then, while pregnant "oof, at your age?" Or "do you worry about genetic abnormalities?"

People are dumb. That's it. They don't think very hard and a lot of people just say whatever stupid thought pops into their head. They don't mean anything bad generally, but they also don't mean anything good.

[Anonymous]

If your friend has a small or early baby, any comments obsessing about how tiny the baby is, and are they getting on the growth chart, are you feeding them, have you tried fortifying their formula/adding some formula to pumped milk/feeding rice cereal, they’re so small how do you know if nursing is working, aren’t you nervous. Believe me we are aware. - had a 5.5 pounder and a 6 pounder.

[Anonymous]

All of you need to get over your super sensitivity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Where do they get the [insert] hair/[insert] eyes/[insert other physical feature]?"

Nothing wrong with asking that.

[Anonymous]

To mixed race when I was picking her up from aftercare: "That's not your mom, she's not white"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To mixed race when I was picking her up from aftercare: "That's not your mom, she's not white"

My sis in law is mixed and got this all the time too. People would insist she couldn't be the mother of a blonde baby. Mind you, her mom is blonde.

[Anonymous]

Can you feel your let down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A thick skin is a critical parenting skill. I’m not kidding. You won’t survive if you’re trying to police people over stuff like this and/or you let it get to you.

True but it's okay to vent privately on an anonymous forum.

Like what do you say in the moment to someone who's like "are you going to try again for a girl" and like ma'am, he's not even born yet and you're demanding to know when I'm going to have more.

Do what my SIL did. She called my brother over and yelled honey, Aunt Madge wants to know when you plan to put your P in my V. Kid’s 18 and this is still a legend.

[Anonymous]

“ I can’t imagine having kids so close in age”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To mixed race when I was picking her up from aftercare: "That's not your mom, she's not white"

“ I thought your mom/dad was white “

Imagine folks insisting your kids are mixed race when they’re not.

We just correct. Over and over and over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh man I'm pregnant and getting that now. My coming second is a also boy and "oh are you disappointed it's not a girl".

My boys are not disappointments.

Not yet. Give it time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you need to get over your super sensitivity.

Ah, an offender has entered the chat. These comments are rude and you should stop!

[Anonymous]

About DC- All that beautiful hair is going to fail out! (It did not).

When are you having more? Did you only want just the one? (When due to post partum hemorrhage and emergency surgery after delivery I can no longer have more).

Starting everything with “first time mom, or new mom” and belittling every concern and question.