No libido or desire for sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the opposite problem. I can’t stop thinking about sex I take care of myself but it’s not the same. My DH has zero interest and we haven’t been intimate in years. I’m 42

Oh dang! How old is your DH and how long it has been? Is he getting it somewhere else?

PP here. He’s 42. It’s been very limited for the last 5 years. Maybe less than 5 times in as many years. I don’t think he’s getting it elsewhere as he’s got ASD and almost never leaves the house.

I’m
Actively looking for someone but can’t divorce now.

I am sorry for your situation, PP. has he always been like this or it has gone worse recently? Any issues with ED?

You need to take care of yourself and if finding someone helps then be it.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don’t think my husband would stray (who ever does) but I see his frustrations. He doesn’t have an outlet outside of working out. I’ll talk to my doc and hopefully find a solution.

[Anonymous]

In your 50s and you “think” you’re in peri? Girl, you’ve been in it for ages whether you’ve had noticeable symptoms or not. HRT is up to you but you seem to be doing fine without.

If low libido is your only “symptom”, I would chalk that up to being with the same man for too long, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

women’s desire is responsive so unless your DH is treating you really well in all realms, that’s where you should look to improve before you medicate yourself to please him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:women’s desire is responsive so unless your DH is treating you really well in all realms, that’s where you should look to improve before you medicate yourself to please him.

Ah, yes, the traditional DCUM "it is never the woman's fault" post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:women’s desire is responsive so unless your DH is treating you really well in all realms, that’s where you should look to improve before you medicate yourself to please him.

This is so untrue. It is both partners responsibility to take care of each other and also to seek help medically or via therapy if needed.

[Anonymous]

Agree.

[Anonymous]

I tried testosterone. It comes in a topical gel. I never absorbed it properly because when I got a blood test several times, the numbers hardly moved. I tried Vyleesi. It didn't do anything either. I'm on estrogen and progesterone. I wish I had an answer. I miss my once high libido.

I still try to have s$x with my husband twice a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tried testosterone. It comes in a topical gel. I never absorbed it properly because when I got a blood test several times, the numbers hardly moved. I tried Vyleesi. It didn't do anything either. I'm on estrogen and progesterone. I wish I had an answer. I miss my once high libido.

I still try to have s$x with my husband twice a week.

Wow your husband is a lucky man. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tried testosterone. It comes in a topical gel. I never absorbed it properly because when I got a blood test several times, the numbers hardly moved. I tried Vyleesi. It didn't do anything either. I'm on estrogen and progesterone. I wish I had an answer. I miss my once high libido.

I still try to have s$x with my husband twice a week.

That's excellent, PP. You are trying and want to improve on the problem. Kudos to you.

How old are you, BTW?

[Anonymous]

good for PP for trying all this for her marriage. The most common answer you see is don't do it, or do as you feel and DH will take care of you but then it also brings other stress of divorce, infidelity, shame, inadequacy so it is upto people what they want to do. Finding a solution for an issue is way far easier than dealing all the other problems and being alone.

[Anonymous]

Yes, not working out your sex life can cause resentment on either side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, not working out your sex life can cause resentment on either side.

and then people wonder why marriages or relationships don't work.

[Anonymous]

I don’t want / need sex nearly as often as I used to, but I have my moments! If my DH stopped having sex with me, I’d be so mad and hurt. I can put myself in the shoes of OPs DH and I think it’s awful for him! She should do something if she had any memory from her younger years of what it’s like to want and need sex! Esp if it’s as easy as getting an hrt prescription!

I take hrt (but not for libido as that hasn’t been an issue of mine yet). I do think E and P alone increase desire and I’d be inclined to try those first before adding T.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want / need sex nearly as often as I used to, but I have my moments! If my DH stopped having sex with me, I’d be so mad and hurt. I can put myself in the shoes of OPs DH and I think it’s awful for him! She should do something if she had any memory from her younger years of what it’s like to want and need sex! Esp if it’s as easy as getting an hrt prescription!

I take hrt (but not for libido as that hasn’t been an issue of mine yet). I do think E and P alone increase desire and I’d be inclined to try those first before adding T.

This is an excellent post, PP. Not a lot of people think like that and they get too selfish and just want their partner to sacrifice and that is not right. BTW, how old are you, PP?