Why is it ok to comment on someone's weight loss, but not their weight gain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP did you start a thread just to see how quickly it gets locked?

It’s pretty obvious that OP is autistic, but doesn’t know because people politely comment on their weight loss rather than the obvious autism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this generational? I'm older and I remember people getting mad if you didn't notice their weight loss. I've been guilty of complimenting people for looking smaller.

Yes. Younger people have been taught not to comment on people’s bodies. The boomers, on the other hand. Woo boy. They are something.

[Anonymous]

I mean people work very hard to lose weight. I want it recognized

[Anonymous]

Don’t make unsolicited comments on other people’s bodies. If someone has a breakout of zits, don’t mention it. If the acne on face improves, don’t mention it. Same with weight or hair loss or anything you can judge someone about. Shut up because you don’t know what someone is dealing with.

[Anonymous]

Idk everyone I know says it's not appropriate to mention weight loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, I don't think it's ok to comment on either, or to comment on people's bodies in general.

But it's astounding how many people will comment on someone's weight loss, but not weight gain. Why is one more "acceptable" (to some) over the other?

Well obviously, because most people think weight loss is good and weight loss is bad so commenting on something good is okay and commenting on something bad is not. I agree with you people should not comment on weight loss for a whole host of reasons, but the reason one happens and the other doesn't is pretty obvious, no?

(and no, I do not agree with the premise that all weight loss is good and all weight gain is bad, but there is that general sentiment.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting for someone to compliment me and then I get to tell them it's the cancer. Don't comment on other people's bodies.

I have seen this happen with two different people! One was a colleague so I saw it happen multiple times with him. He did not always mention the cancer/chemo, but when he did it was quite awkward. I bet it taught at least a few people to shut their trap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean people work very hard to lose weight. I want it recognized

Not me. I'm working on it for myself and my health, not for anyone's approval.

[Anonymous]

If someone volunteers that they have lost or gained weight (and are happy about it), I will affirm/validate, but otherwise do not comment on bodies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If someone volunteers that they have lost or gained weight (and are happy about it), I will affirm/validate, but otherwise do not comment on bodies.

+1

[Anonymous]

I’ve been all over the place with my weight but most of us want others to notice and recognize when we’ve put in hard work to improve ourselves. It’s very affirming and validating.

If I know the person well, and I know they’ve been putting in that work, I will positively comment on how their efforts are paying off and how great and healthy they look. If I don’t know the person well I keep my mouth shut. Not all weight loss is good, even if the person was fat before. Most people I know would rather be fat and healthy rather than skinny due to cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting for someone to compliment me and then I get to tell them it's the cancer. Don't comment on other people's bodies.

Or you could appreciate a tiny silver lining. A positive attitude has shown real effects in overcoming cancer.

[Anonymous]

I've never understood why it's okay to comment on weight loss but not other things. "you look great, Sam. Have you lost weight?" "Yeah, a little bit. How bout that botox you had though? Or was it laser? And did you have your boobs done? A Brazilian butt lift?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because people look better when they're less overweight.

That's the truth.

It's rarely the case that someone is going to lose too much weight. If they did, they wouldn't be complimented either. Too thin is also a bad look, but let's be honest, it doesn't happen very often.

That's also assuming the weight loss was intentional. That's why you don't comment on people's bodies, you have no idea what's going on. It's pretty easy to just find something else to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been all over the place with my weight but most of us want others to notice and recognize when we’ve put in hard work to improve ourselves. It’s very affirming and validating.

If I know the person well, and I know they’ve been putting in that work, I will positively comment on how their efforts are paying off and how great and healthy they look. If I don’t know the person well I keep my mouth shut. Not all weight loss is good, even if the person was fat before. Most people I know would rather be fat and healthy rather than skinny due to cancer.

I think if you want validation for weight loss then the appropriate thing is to share with people that it's intentional and bring it up yourself. That lets them know it's something you are comfortable discussing. All this means is you have friends and family that see you as a whole person, not just your appearance, which is lovely.