Men with mostly female friends

[Anonymous]

My son has mostly female friends, but has some close male friends as well. In his case, I think it is because he has a twin sister with whom he has always been very close and gravitated towards making female friends in college when they went to different universities. I think he also views/treats women as potential friends more than most other men for this reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably red. Makes me think he's way too flirty and/or gay.

You are way too insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my friends has plenty of male friends but says it's easier to talk to his female friends. He's not wrong. When it's a bunch of dudes, they all just kinda sit there watching sports. We apparently make them talk. So I wouldn't rule him out if these are actual friends and not women he's trying to date.

+1 Both DH and DS (20) said the same. They like having female friends to talk to. Neither of them are boys boys, and neither are gay.

DS said they like hanging out with both for different reasons. DH is from Europe and doesn't connect with the typical American male. That's not to say he doesn't have male friends. He does, but most of the good male friends are also European.

When DH moved here, he happened to be on a team with mostly women, and as he was the lone foreigner, they included him in their lunch outings, etc. He's still friends with some of them after 30 years.

[Anonymous]

Platonic, non-ex female friends? Amazing. Great. Wonderful.

All sexual exes that he keeps around like a harem? Not cool. No thanks.

I think men with female friends are actually some of the best partners, but I wouldn't be comfortable if his only female friends are past flings.

[Anonymous]

Most of my friends are women. Some I've known well over 10 years and we've never dated or been intimate and never will. They are just fun people who I can confide in at times. I don't see how that is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

I would say from HS thru college my closest friends were guys. In some workplaces guys have been my closer friends and in some workplaces women have. Lately it’s been women. Agree it’s generally easier to make/be friends with wonen as you get older.

Can’t see how that standing alone is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Platonic, non-ex female friends? Amazing. Great. Wonderful.

All sexual exes that he keeps around like a harem? Not cool. No thanks.

I think men with female friends are actually some of the best partners, but I wouldn't be comfortable if his only female friends are past flings.

As a female with a lot of male friends, I can't tell if this is causation or correlation but I agree with you. On the one hand, I talk with my male friends about stuff I know they don't discuss with their male friends and I do think that makes them more in tune with how women operate, but also, I wouldn't bother being friends with a man who I thought was a bad husband or father. So I'm not going to take any credit for the fact that they're great partners, I'll just say those are the men I've gravitated towards (and even before we partnered up I sensed this about them because all of my male friends from high school and beyond have ended up being great partners).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of my friends are women. Some I've known well over 10 years and we've never dated or been intimate and never will. They are just fun people who I can confide in at times. I don't see how that is a red flag.

Can you understand why SOME men who are surrounded by women are trouble, as expressed in the responses?

I have a lot of male friends and it would make me sad if someone thought their friendship with me was a red flag, but I also said above that I think you need to understand more about the relationships than just the sheer volume of female friends.

Also, I do have one male friend who is back in the dating market after divorcing and the woman he is dating now is super threatened by our friendship (which is ridiculous, I'm married and we've been friends for many years), which is a huge red flag to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Red flag or green flag?

They friend-zoned him for a reason. So what you will with that information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Platonic, non-ex female friends? Amazing. Great. Wonderful.

All sexual exes that he keeps around like a harem? Not cool. No thanks.

I think men with female friends are actually some of the best partners, but I wouldn't be comfortable if his only female friends are past flings.

As a female with a lot of male friends, I can't tell if this is causation or correlation but I agree with you. On the one hand, I talk with my male friends about stuff I know they don't discuss with their male friends and I do think that makes them more in tune with how women operate, but also, I wouldn't bother being friends with a man who I thought was a bad husband or father. So I'm not going to take any credit for the fact that they're great partners, I'll just say those are the men I've gravitated towards (and even before we partnered up I sensed this about them because all of my male friends from high school and beyond have ended up being great partners).

This is a great point. I think men who have women friends are, as you say, more in tune with women, but there's also something to be said about men treating women as friends. They don't see women as beneath them. They respect women and treat them as such. Women feel safe being around them, because they aren't creepy or predatory.

It's really sad to think of "treating women as equals and with respect" as any sort of bar to surpass, but here we are.