Men with mostly female friends

[Anonymous]

I would say from HS thru college my closest friends were guys. In some workplaces guys have been my closer friends and in some workplaces women have. Lately it’s been women. Agree it’s generally easier to make/be friends with wonen as you get older.

Can’t see how that standing alone is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Platonic, non-ex female friends? Amazing. Great. Wonderful.

All sexual exes that he keeps around like a harem? Not cool. No thanks.

I think men with female friends are actually some of the best partners, but I wouldn't be comfortable if his only female friends are past flings.

As a female with a lot of male friends, I can't tell if this is causation or correlation but I agree with you. On the one hand, I talk with my male friends about stuff I know they don't discuss with their male friends and I do think that makes them more in tune with how women operate, but also, I wouldn't bother being friends with a man who I thought was a bad husband or father. So I'm not going to take any credit for the fact that they're great partners, I'll just say those are the men I've gravitated towards (and even before we partnered up I sensed this about them because all of my male friends from high school and beyond have ended up being great partners).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of my friends are women. Some I've known well over 10 years and we've never dated or been intimate and never will. They are just fun people who I can confide in at times. I don't see how that is a red flag.

Can you understand why SOME men who are surrounded by women are trouble, as expressed in the responses?

I have a lot of male friends and it would make me sad if someone thought their friendship with me was a red flag, but I also said above that I think you need to understand more about the relationships than just the sheer volume of female friends.

Also, I do have one male friend who is back in the dating market after divorcing and the woman he is dating now is super threatened by our friendship (which is ridiculous, I'm married and we've been friends for many years), which is a huge red flag to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Red flag or green flag?

They friend-zoned him for a reason. So what you will with that information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Platonic, non-ex female friends? Amazing. Great. Wonderful.

All sexual exes that he keeps around like a harem? Not cool. No thanks.

I think men with female friends are actually some of the best partners, but I wouldn't be comfortable if his only female friends are past flings.

As a female with a lot of male friends, I can't tell if this is causation or correlation but I agree with you. On the one hand, I talk with my male friends about stuff I know they don't discuss with their male friends and I do think that makes them more in tune with how women operate, but also, I wouldn't bother being friends with a man who I thought was a bad husband or father. So I'm not going to take any credit for the fact that they're great partners, I'll just say those are the men I've gravitated towards (and even before we partnered up I sensed this about them because all of my male friends from high school and beyond have ended up being great partners).

This is a great point. I think men who have women friends are, as you say, more in tune with women, but there's also something to be said about men treating women as friends. They don't see women as beneath them. They respect women and treat them as such. Women feel safe being around them, because they aren't creepy or predatory.

It's really sad to think of "treating women as equals and with respect" as any sort of bar to surpass, but here we are.