Men with mostly female friends

[Anonymous]

Red flag or green flag?

[Anonymous]

Probably red. Makes me think he's way too flirty and/or gay.

[Anonymous]

A guy who’s insecure and needy. Probably sexually confused.

[Anonymous]

Men with mostly female friends or women with mostly male friends are both red flags. I would be concerned with anyone who can't form and maintain friendships with people of their own sex. Needing attention from the opposite sex in place of appreciating attention from your own sex is an issue.

I agree that both are insecure and needy.

I think the only exception is if a woman works in a very male dominated profession or a man works in a very female dominated profession, they may tend to have a skewed proportion of friends.

[Anonymous]

It means a lot less than anyone on DCUM thinks.

[Anonymous]

I think having good friends of both genders is a green flag, because it means you see people as people.

Mostly all friends of the either the same or opposite gender is a yellow flag, leading me to think that you have very rigid ideas about gender roles or capabilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably red. Makes me think he's way too flirty and/or gay.

This. 🚩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men with mostly female friends or women with mostly male friends are both red flags. I would be concerned with anyone who can't form and maintain friendships with people of their own sex. Needing attention from the opposite sex in place of appreciating attention from your own sex is an issue.

I agree that both are insecure and needy.

I think the only exception is if a woman works in a very male dominated profession or a man works in a very female dominated profession, they may tend to have a skewed proportion of friends.

I'm a woman who has a lot of male friends (I do work in a male-dominated profession) but my best friend (other than my husband) is a woman and more of my close friends are female versus male, so I do agree with what you're saying. I think having any extreme of friends (either none, most of the opposite sex, way too many) is at least a yellow flag and I'd want to know more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men with mostly female friends or women with mostly male friends are both red flags. I would be concerned with anyone who can't form and maintain friendships with people of their own sex. Needing attention from the opposite sex in place of appreciating attention from your own sex is an issue.

I agree that both are insecure and needy.

I think the only exception is if a woman works in a very male dominated profession or a man works in a very female dominated profession, they may tend to have a skewed proportion of friends.

I'm a woman who has a lot of male friends (I do work in a male-dominated profession) but my best friend (other than my husband) is a woman and more of my close friends are female versus male, so I do agree with what you're saying. I think having any extreme of friends (either none, most of the opposite sex, way too many) is at least a yellow flag and I'd want to know more.

Yes exactly. It doesn't need to be 50/50 but I would want to see that they can form and keep friendships with their own sex too. Anyone who struggles with making or keeping friends would be a warning flag for me - color would depend on the situation.

[Anonymous]

One of my friends has plenty of male friends but says it's easier to talk to his female friends. He's not wrong. When it's a bunch of dudes, they all just kinda sit there watching sports. We apparently make them talk. So I wouldn't rule him out if these are actual friends and not women he's trying to date.

[Anonymous]

Whore

[Anonymous]

Red flag.
In my experience nothing but drama.
Also use these female friends as pseudo girlfriends for either flirtatious attention or to do the emotional work for them.

[Anonymous]

The majority of my DH’s friends and good acquaintances are female. He has worked as an ES teacher for 33 years and a couple of co-workers have been good friends of his for most of that time. I worked in an ES for much of that time, so many of our shared friends are female.

We’ve been happily married for 31 years. Nothing ever seemed like a red flag.

[Anonymous]

When I was in high school and college, I had way more male friends than female friends. In middle age, it's been the opposite. Making male friends is much harder than making female friends. Females invite me to parties and events all the time. Men do a few times a year. I'm straight. Yes, sometimes there's sexual tension with female friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in high school and college, I had way more male friends than female friends. In middle age, it's been the opposite. Making male friends is much harder than making female friends. Females invite me to parties and events all the time. Men do a few times a year. I'm straight. Yes, sometimes there's sexual tension with female friends.

I'm a man who has usually had a mix of male and female friends but definitely more female friends since I hit middle age as well, especially parent friends (we only have a daughter so that might be part of that). If I were dating, I'm not sure what potential dates would think, but the truth would be "I made half these friends through a Girl Scout troop."