Bright 8th grader avoiding work and getting Cs/Ds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But C’s are not bad grades. Remember: a C simply means average.

Do you have a middle schooler? Getting Cs in 8th grade is bad.

Could be a kid taking a couple high school classes. Math can ramp up by 8th grade.

I have a feeling this isn’t a kid in precalc

Could be in Algebra and a foreign language. DS took Algebra 1H and a foreign language for HS credit in 7th grade and is in geometry and a foreign language as an 8th grader. Kids struggling with Algebra in 8th grade is a common thread theme in the FCPS forum. HS classes move at a faster pace and are more demanding. Some kids can handle the pacing and material in MS, other kids struggle because they don't have the executive functioning skills to keep up with the pace but will be ready for the material in another year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But C’s are not bad grades. Remember: a C simply means average.

in middle school they are like D's

[Anonymous]

This happened to my DS. I thought it was ADHD and it may be but ultimately it was a matter of him caring more. When I showed him options (for high school and what grades were needed, and colleges and career) he tried harder. Went from Cs to almost straight As. When I asked how it happened, DS said he decided he wanted to get better grades and just tried harder. Just my personal experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a kid who needs to be grounded and have his phone taken away until he brings his grades up. He needs to realize his job is school and he needs to focus only on that.

If your child was struggling to swim would you throw him in the deep end until he was swimming well? No, you would give him swimming lessons. This sounds like a kid is missing (or still developing) certain skills and needs help, not punishment.

Disagree. Everyone wants to find an excuse for why kids aren't trying, they have ADHD, they're autistic, they have anxiety, their pet rabbit died. Sometimes kids just need to get told what to do, and have strict parents. Enough with the coddling. It's not that this kid CAN'T. He WON'T. That's unacceptable.

PREACHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be sitting down with my child on Sunday and reviewing all of SIS and Schoology and putting together a list of work that needs to be completed. He would come home, have 30 minutes of down time and then he would be at the dining table doing his work. If he didn’t have anything to turn in, he would be reviewing past notes to learn that material. this continues until he has solid effort scores an his grades improve.

Once he figures out that he will have more free time if he does what he is supposed to and is doing it without my having to be there, he can stop doing an hour a day.

If his grades don’t come up and he is still skipping things, then we start some testing for ADHD/LDs an we start removing extra curricular activities. I don’t think ADHD and LDs are the answer for the vast majority of kids but a smart kid can mask that they are there. They can raise their head in MS and HS when work loads greatly increase and there are more demands on students.

+1 to the plan. If it were ADHD, even for a smart kid, there would be symptoms outside of the school setting too.

For many NT kids, organizational skills need to be taught. Sitting down with the kid and writing down everything that needs to be done is an excellent first step to teaching those skills. The child can be walked through the process as many times as it takes to habitualize the process, and will eventually learn to take control of organizing themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my DS. I thought it was ADHD and it may be but ultimately it was a matter of him caring more. When I showed him options (for high school and what grades were needed, and colleges and career) he tried harder. Went from Cs to almost straight As. When I asked how it happened, DS said he decided he wanted to get better grades and just tried harder. Just my personal experience.

OP here. I worked in schools for a while and have seen a lot of ADHD. I really don't think that's the issue. Bluntly, he doesn't have that excuse.

The above resonates with me. How do I get him to care more??

Trying to be generous - I think maybe his self esteem is low, he thinks other kids are smarter than him, and he is afraid to try. Combined with, his organizational skills are lacking.

Tackling the more tangible issue - how can I help him with organization when he is lying and shifty about what needs to get done? Does that look like sitting for an hour at the table every day, regardless of homework, like a PP suggested, until grades are up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my DS. I thought it was ADHD and it may be but ultimately it was a matter of him caring more. When I showed him options (for high school and what grades were needed, and colleges and career) he tried harder. Went from Cs to almost straight As. When I asked how it happened, DS said he decided he wanted to get better grades and just tried harder. Just my personal experience.

OP here. I worked in schools for a while and have seen a lot of ADHD. I really don't think that's the issue. Bluntly, he doesn't have that excuse.

The above resonates with me. How do I get him to care more??

Trying to be generous - I think maybe his self esteem is low, he thinks other kids are smarter than him, and he is afraid to try. Combined with, his organizational skills are lacking.

Tackling the more tangible issue - how can I help him with organization when he is lying and shifty about what needs to get done? Does that look like sitting for an hour at the table every day, regardless of homework, like a PP suggested, until grades are up?

I have posted this suggestion before. Get a white board and every sunday night, map out the next 2 weeks with all tests, large assignments due, ECs, family obligations, and even big social things he wants to do or knows he might want to do. Block out the time to get things done. Teach not procrastinating. The anxiety of being behind and overwhelmed at the last minute is a terrible feeling and leads to the shifty behavior and lying and avoidance. Don't leave everything until the night before. Once my kid figured that out for himself and had a plan, he was much better. He's now in high school and does it himself and more or less in his head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my DS. I thought it was ADHD and it may be but ultimately it was a matter of him caring more. When I showed him options (for high school and what grades were needed, and colleges and career) he tried harder. Went from Cs to almost straight As. When I asked how it happened, DS said he decided he wanted to get better grades and just tried harder. Just my personal experience.

OP here. I worked in schools for a while and have seen a lot of ADHD. I really don't think that's the issue. Bluntly, he doesn't have that excuse.

The above resonates with me. How do I get him to care more??

Trying to be generous - I think maybe his self esteem is low, he thinks other kids are smarter than him, and he is afraid to try. Combined with, his organizational skills are lacking.

Tackling the more tangible issue - how can I help him with organization when he is lying and shifty about what needs to get done? Does that look like sitting for an hour at the table every day, regardless of homework, like a PP suggested, until grades are up?

Sit with him and teach him how to organize his schedule. Do it until he understands the process. Praise him as things get better. Praise the effort and the results. Tell him you know he can do better if he tries and you are requiring he try. He needs to know this is important and that you will be with him to get it done.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like my ADHD 9th grader. I agree about getting him evaluated. It’s been a struggle!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But C’s are not bad grades. Remember: a C simply means average.

In private school, yes but if kids get Cs in public schools these days, it’s the equivalent of an F.

[Anonymous]

Just chiming in to agree with some others - get a Neuropsych evaluation as soon as you can. My DD (also v. bright, also stopped doing work and started getting terrible grades) has ADHD and this is how it presented. It can be very sneaky in smart kids who are not obviously hyperactive and previously had done well. Or there could be another issue in the background. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are overwhelming him.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a typical middle school kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my DS. I thought it was ADHD and it may be but ultimately it was a matter of him caring more. When I showed him options (for high school and what grades were needed, and colleges and career) he tried harder. Went from Cs to almost straight As. When I asked how it happened, DS said he decided he wanted to get better grades and just tried harder. Just my personal experience.

OP here. I worked in schools for a while and have seen a lot of ADHD. I really don't think that's the issue. Bluntly, he doesn't have that excuse.

The above resonates with me. How do I get him to care more??

Trying to be generous - I think maybe his self esteem is low, he thinks other kids are smarter than him, and he is afraid to try. Combined with, his organizational skills are lacking.

Tackling the more tangible issue - how can I help him with organization when he is lying and shifty about what needs to get done? Does that look like sitting for an hour at the table every day, regardless of homework, like a PP suggested, until grades are up?

OP, this sounds kind of like my 10th grader. I don’t know how to motivate him or get him to care. He is very stubborn. He tends to care toward the end of the semester and will bring his grades up just enough. I think your plan of sitting with him everyday is good, and checking all the school platforms with him. Once a week isn’t enough because teachers add timings as the week goes on. I will sometimes sit near my son while he does his homework independently, just so I know he’s on task. Not often anymore, but at your son’s age I did this more and it helped.

[Anonymous]

Simple way to ferret out the lying: look at his paperwork with him to understand the requirements.

In kids' defense, the convoluted, inconsistent, and contradictory system for assigning and submitting homework is absolutely insane nowadays.