How do you stay sexually attracted to your partner as they age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't look as old to each other as you do to others.
I am stunned when I see a photo of DH. So much older than the man I photographed!

I've always heard that this is the benefit of a very long relationship. Your spouse is the only one on earth who can still see the decades younger version of you.

I still see the younger version of DH but he still has qualities that I fell in love with- his eyes, his smile

NP. When we were younger, I could see the older version of him in there too. Overall, I don't really see him as "aged version of DH" the same way that I don't see my teenager as "aged version of baby DD" - they're just these people I love.

[Anonymous]

Sexual attraction isn't purely physical attraction. Maybe when you're a teen, but more mature people are capable of more mature connections. If you're a porn addict or you have a fetish/kink, well, you have a separate issue to deal with. If you have a working brain, you can teach yourself to deepen your attraction and sexual experience(s) by consciously focusing your attention beyond the simple physicality of your partner and/or the sex act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You haven’t mentioned love??!! The bond created by building a family together?

Why only the concern about women as a body??

You are scarily one dimensional.

Yeah, that. Lot of people on here like to have sex with objects, not whole humans.

[Anonymous]

My wife got too fat and then she lost 100 lbs. She does not look good naked. I do want to be turn on, but when I need to lift layers of fat to get to what I'm looking for it's hard to stay horny. I don't drink alcohol and she does and alcohol ages you even faster.

[Anonymous]

The best sex I ever heard was with my wife when we were in our twenties. She still looks great 35 years later. I really admire how well she takes care of herself.

However the thought of having sex with her is not appealing at all. We are divorced. A lot of sexual attraction is emotional.

Since my divorce, I have been very attracted to women twenty years younger and five years older. And yes, I still appeal to some women twenty years younger. They're not dumb. They're not poor. They're not ugly. They're just into older men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just choose to see them as they were 20 years ago.

Yep, but I wouldn’t even call it choosing. It’s like I have beer goggles on or something - I look at my husband and still see his wavy hair even though it’s been a bald spot for a while now.

One of the hardest parts about getting divorced at 61 (not my choice) is that I could still see the young woman I fell in love with when i looked at my wife. Sadly, I do not have that power when I look at divorcees my age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You haven’t mentioned love??!! The bond created by building a family together?

Why only the concern about women as a body??

You are scarily one dimensional.

Interesting. I assumed the OP was a woman talking about staying attracted to a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just choose to see them as they were 20 years ago.

Yep, but I wouldn’t even call it choosing. It’s like I have beer goggles on or something - I look at my husband and still see his wavy hair even though it’s been a bald spot for a while now.

One of the hardest parts about getting divorced at 61 (not my choice) is that I could still see the young woman I fell in love with when i looked at my wife. Sadly, I do not have that power when I look at divorcees my age.

I'm happily married, but I feel this. I have loved DH for over 35 years and that makes me ok with his aging body. I almost never encounter a man my age who I find genuinely attractive and so if something happened to DH, I'm pretty sure I would stay single. The idea of rubbing up against another 60-year-old man....blah. (Sorry.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good question. I don’t. DH has gained weight and doesn’t put effort into his appearance other than regular haircuts. It’s sad.

Same. But I love him dearly, and I rely on memories of fitter times when physical attraction is required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just choose to see them as they were 20 years ago.

Yep, but I wouldn’t even call it choosing. It’s like I have beer goggles on or something - I look at my husband and still see his wavy hair even though it’s been a bald spot for a while now.

One of the hardest parts about getting divorced at 61 (not my choice) is that I could still see the young woman I fell in love with when i looked at my wife. Sadly, I do not have that power when I look at divorcees my age.

Which is why divorced men your age date at least 20 years younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your view of what’s attractive just shift as you age? Do you look in the mirror and recognize that you’re in the same boat?

This, if you are honest.

Nobody is ever getting younger.